Re: Why do?
Basically, it all comes down to your biological clock
Re: Why do?
Its the truth. We mostly see examples of women marrying older men and men marrying younger women. But having said that I have seen women marry younger men by 1-2 years and nobody ever finds out lol unless they say themselves
Re: Why do?
I am not here to defend older men or belittle older women.
Just asking **if **it is so common then why?
I think its cultural. Women were chosen because they were young and more fertile as well as more likely to survive child birth. Also the life span of people were shorter so women were chosen young so they could procreate alot before their death, as having many children was seen as a blessing and beneficial to people as the children could care for their parents in old age. Men were older i think because they were more financially stable.
Re: Why do?
So many men like to marry younger women and lots of women like to marry older men?
Is this a false generalization or truth?
I don't know about any other girl, but I wouldn't have married a guy younger than me. My cousin married our other cousin and his wife is 5 years older than him (love marriage). They look odd together now because she is in her 30s while he is still in his 20s. She LOOKS much older than him and whenever we see them you can almost see that she has taken on a somewhat mothering role with him- I don't know if that's because of the age gap or what BUT I always wanted my husband to be able to guide me if need be. Hubby is 3 years older than me and MA the gap is perfect and works for us. Plus marrying a younger guy could maybe mean the guy isn't as established or stable in his career etc which would be a major downside.
Re: Why do?
@diwana. Among pashtoons girls are married very young, boys too, but usually they are same age as rest. I had a class mate from a prominent KPK political family, and I asked him, why you guys marry girls so young, like boy is 25-30 and girl is 15-16, he said, "acha he na. ziyada dair tak jawaan rehti hai"
Having said that I recall a study that showed the best intimate chemistry according to age difference in long term marriages is, when women is 10 years younger than man.
True. We are pathaan and (while there is an example in my extended family of a marriage where the guy is younger), there is not one single example on hubby's side. All of my SIL- their hubby's are about 7-8 years older than them and such is the case with all of hubby's extended family too. It seems to work well.
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I like older guys...more mature and caring.
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Status: D6C is celebrating his 65th birthday today
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so what if she looks older than him?
i didn't know there was a law against that
I don't know about any other girl, but I wouldn't have married a guy younger than me. My cousin married our other cousin and his wife is 5 years older than him (love marriage). They look odd together now because she is in her 30s while he is still in his 20s. She LOOKS much older than him and whenever we see them you can almost see that she has taken on a somewhat mothering role with him- I don't know if that's because of the age gap or what BUT I always wanted my husband to be able to guide me if need be. Hubby is 3 years older than me and MA the gap is perfect and works for us. Plus marrying a younger guy could maybe mean the guy isn't as established or stable in his career etc which would be a major downside.
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While there will be those who bring examples to contrary but if this is true and (I think it is) then the question is why?
Coz women grow ugly and men grow handsome as they age.
Re: Why do?
I don't know about any other girl, but I wouldn't have married a guy younger than me. My cousin married our other cousin and his wife is 5 years older than him (love marriage). They look odd together now because she is in her 30s while he is still in his 20s. She LOOKS much older than him and whenever we see them you can almost see that she has taken on a somewhat mothering role with him- I don't know if that's because of the age gap or what BUT I always wanted my husband to be able to guide me if need be. Hubby is 3 years older than me and MA the gap is perfect and works for us. Plus marrying a younger guy could maybe mean the guy isn't as established or stable in his career etc which would be a major downside.
Its only a cultural thing that we raise an eyebrow at a woman being/looking older than her husband.
Older women can easily attract younger men and not just in a motherly way but in a sexual way. Women in their late 30's and early 40's who are reasonably maintained can easily attract men in their 20's.
There is a misconception that age affects men's desirability less than womens. The reality is that older women can attract men much more easily than older men can attract women. In most cases older men need to leverage their status or money to attract younger women. Older women can attract younger men w/o using their status.
Re: Why do?
Its only a cultural thing that we raise an eyebrow at a woman being/looking older than her husband.
Older women can easily attract younger men and not just in a motherly way but in a sexual way. Women in their late 30's and early 40's who are reasonably maintained can easily attract men in their 20's.
There is a misconception that age affects men's desirability less than womens. The reality is that older women can attract men much more easily than older men can attract women. In most cases older men need to leverage their status or money to attract younger women. Older women can attract younger men w/o using their status.
You do realize that that kind of attraction has nothing to do with marriage. Even if it is, probably a trivial one for most. Ask the same younger men if they want to marry the woman they are attracted to and they will bolt.
I don't think it is cultural either. Even in the west, the norm is for the girl to be younger. Can't articulate it, but am certain it is biological/physiological.
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^
In the west, older women fare much better than older men in the dating/sexual scene.
Divorces and single-hood is hard on men if they're past their youth. Women can get a divorce at 50 and its back to a life of dating, fun and new relationships. Open your eyes. What world are you living in?
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Overall, men do prefer women who are younger or about the same age, and women prefer men who are older or the same age. Apparently one desi concept about marriage holds true because I saw at least one study where they found that marriages last longest when the man and woman are of roughly equal social statues, have similar backgrounds, and the guy is older by 3-5 years. They cited the Queen and Prince Phillip as an example.
It makes sense. These traits would have evolved for a reason. Men can't attract a mate until they're relatively well established and younger women would be more likely to survive child birth. A lot of these things don't apply because of technology and different social expectations but our subconscious preferences remain. The desi haww and haiis only remain because it's unusual and of course, the unusual must be met with skepticism.
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i think so becaz i got proposal from younger guys or of same age group
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^
In the west, older women fare much better than older men in the dating/sexual scene. Divorces and single-hood is hard on men if they're past their youth. Women can get a divorce at 50 and its back to a life of dating, fun and new relationships. Open your eyes. What world are you living in?
Dude...how many of those 50+ yr olds are getting married? Responsibilities, expectations and commitments are different in a marriage, no matter how much one pretends dating is same as marriage.
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so what if she looks older than him?
i didn't know there was a law against that
Have I said that there is a law against it? I simply wouldn't want my hubby to look like a child next to me. Maybe you are okay with it but doesn't mean others are.
Re: Why do?
This is most certainly NOT just a desi thing. The average age at marriage for men is higher than women in European countries as well.
Why does this happen (in any country)? Men on average age better than women, women are mostly expected to stop working or work less when they become mothers (hence at marriage, the male's earning power matters more than a female's) and men are capable, biologically, of starting families much later than a woman.
Re: Why do?
@diwana. Among pashtoons girls are married very young, boys too, but usually they are same age as rest. I had a class mate from a prominent KPK political family, and I asked him, why you guys marry girls so young, like boy is 25-30 and girl is 15-16, he said, "acha he na. ziyada dair tak jawaan rehti hai"
Having said that I recall a study that showed the best intimate chemistry according to age difference in long term marriages is, when women is 10 years younger than man.
I think, historically, the reason people got married at a much younger age in our culture, particularly women, is the high mortality rate, especially in the more remote tribal areas. I think, gradually, this has become part of our culture, even among people living in large cities or even abroad where the mortality rate is not an issue. Among people living abroad, I think another factor that that results in a bit of an age difference is that we don’t do the joint family bit, so most guys are a bit older by the time they become established in their careers, have a place of their own (or can afford a place of their own) and finally get married.
In my family, there are only two couples, that I know of, where the guy is not older. One case is my brother and his wife. They're the same age, although a couple of months apart. The only other case is my cousin and her husband, where she is older than him by 1 year. In my husband’s family, I don’t think there are any couples where the girl is older than the guy. The age gap is usually 5 to 8 years, with the guy being older. My husband is 7 and a half years older than me and age the gap has never been an issue in all the time that I've known him (and that’s quite a bit as I've known him since my first year of uni). Some people find 7 years to be quite a bit and find it odd (especially as it was not arranged) but I don't think the age difference makes a difference if people are on the same page.
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It all boils down to male domination as usual
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It all boils down to economics. Just like men are supposed to pay for first date.