Bro I sense most of your issue is to with the fighting between the laymen of each school. That shouldn’t be the basis like I said, of your understanding of the issue. Let’s clear our mind and forget the fighting (that happens even amongst a subgroup) and let’s look into it with an open mind.
When you say Imam Shafi’i s ruling sounds “illogical” you got back that up, your challenging the view of the GREAT IMAM SHAFI’i and his students and the thousands of shafi’i scholars. 
That ruling has stood strong for a long long time, so we can’t start passing judgments like that…
Each madhab is based on its own principle, from that the Imams derive their rulings. Now if you leave one principle, and start following another madhab’s ruling (based on a different principle), you will end up contradicting yourself. Now you mention desires 
Following one’s desires will only lead one astray. That’s a known fact. Are we going to now break apart the Quran and sunnah based on our desires? That’s insulting the religion, nothing more. I’m telling you, these “independent educated elite armchair scholars with their western mentality” are only damaging the ummah with their arrogance and their open disrespect to the works of the great Imams and their students and the hundreds of thousands of scholars who adapt madhabs as means to follow Quran and Sunnah.
Realistically, do you think we are more knowledgeable, smarter, wiser than the scholars of the last 1400 years? The majority of scholars who came before us in the past 1000+ years have stuck to a madhab, so are we going to now adapt the western mentality of “I’m independent and I’ll do my own thing” ?? If you want to form ‘diwana’s madhab’, bro nobody is stopping you you just have to study for a few decades and learn to interpret the Quran, interpret the hadith (in light of Quran and all other hadith)… if u can, let me know.