Re: Why do we have to live with inlaws?
there are advantages and disadvantages to both situations Nadz. I got married 6 months ago, and I DONT live with my in-laws. Yes, its nice to have our own space, and not have to ask if we want to go somewhere, and do our own thing…but at the same time there are things we cant do, that couples who live with the in-laws can do.
I will give you a couple of examples. My friends who have gotten married and live with their in-laws:
dont have to pay rent/mortgage
dont have to buy their own groceries
dont have to pay for internet and cable and home phone connection
dont have to buy all new furniture to furnish their apartment
dont have to buy all new appliances and dishes and utensils
they are able to save more money
they take more vacations than I can
they have people in the house to help them out
if they are sick, they are not expected to still do everything
ramadaan is better with lots of people - me and my husband live alone in this city, and we have no one to have iftar with, or celebrate Eid with!
The grass is always greener on the other side! We always want what we dont have! Trust me, its not perfect living on your own either. Like I listed above, my husband and I have to do all that stuff on our own, and because of that, we cant fully enjoy doing everything we want. I would love to travel more, but because we have so many expenses, its not possible. It was really hard setting up house at the beginning. And we have to be careful about what we are spending, to make sure at the end of the month we have enough money for rent, for groceries, for electricity, for our car payments, for our insurance, for our outings, for savings.
Be thankful to Allah you have a free roof over your head, free food to eat, free internet connection, free satelite, etc. Cause when you have to pay for this all on your own, then you will realize the advantage to living with your in-laws.
While it’s mostly true for women living in Pakistan, it’s actually quite the opposite for women residing in the west. I changed homes and I pay the rent and more bills now than I did before and it’s not even my house or my parents!
Also there’s nothing in it for me. The only reason I am ok with living with them is because they are wonderful, caring, and loving.
Ah…things we do for love!