hmm..well i went this passed summer and in general pakistani males seem like asses. This one store we went to I was talking to a shoe store for khoosay. The rep I was tallking to was very...err attentive as in not leaving me when I said thank u so much for ur help. I put them on buh this guy ummm...made sure they fit?!!!? Yeah I was soo embarassed...
and another time I was in this store alone cz my mom was next door and I am paying and he goes aap ki aankhein bhot pyaari hein aur pyaar cheezon ko appreciate karna chaiyen hain. I was like thank u keep the change bi
Quite contrary, I bet those are the same bunch of women who believe in "when in rome, do what a roman does"... so it might be the cultural thing. I think, for them, if it is okay to shake hands at the so called business meetings, as it is the social requirement, then it would/should be alright for them to have those male chordi walas and tailors taking their measurements.... come on ladies it's a social norm in Pakistan...helloooo.
Or if not, then i think those ladies are simply hypocrites... for them fulfilling the social norm, hand-shake for example, made by goras is totally acceptable, while they will moan over a poor male holding their hands for the bangles size... and then they will start talking about personal space and the uneasiness of getting measured by a male tailor.
Yeah i know, it's always more rewarding to kiss the shinny polished shoes of goras as compared to the tooti howi chappal belonging to a poor man from Pakistan.
No doubt, Hypocrites will be the hypocrites!
PS: I never appreciate any man touching my any part of the body... no matter for whatever freakin' reason.
I don't think its hypocrisy. When you go in for a job interview, it's to be polite and professional. its NOT for pleasure. Whereas, letting a man rub your feet or hands for churiyan is either to get cheap thrills or out of sheer laziness/what Sahar said, that men running stalls are beneath them and thus can touch them.
paoN ko choone ki zaroorat kya hai? i mean why cant ppl wear/ try the shoes on themselves... or do they need the men to thoos the customers foot in sizes that are too small for them?
oh common ladies ladies ladies…wer not the only ones with all these problems…theres a whole Pakisan full of little and big girls with the same problem…haven’t uv wondered how PK girls are slightly different to us wen it comes to talking to the shop keepers?..there so blunt and rude…well u have to be…if u want summit quick and fast without making conversation u gotta be rude…wen i first went, i used to say salam first and smile coz that wots u do in UK ryt?..i realised the moment u smile there all over u and winking at u…so ive started to ignore all that and get on with wot i came for…
the shoe guy and the chooriyan guy have a job and business to run too u know…how there gona make money by jus lookin or touching girls hands and feet?..
ive seen some old uncles who sell too and wen they put chooriyan on u, they hardly look at u, they jus do their job, u like it u buy it, u dont take em off and off u go…
look with the amount of churhiaN the average pakistani girl buys, it wouldn't take her long to figure out the size (i.e. diameter) they need... so pick out the one u want and tell 'em to give it to u in a size that u know fits u... same goes for shoes.
OH my Gosh, EXACTLY what I was thinking. Even people like me who visit every few years, I know my size in Choorian, and simply pick the style I want and ask for it in my size. Some of these idiots still ask that they can help me try it on. jeez. But yeah if you do want to try it on...umm try it on yourself..or ask the anti/sister/behan that's with you to try it on....drrrrr
As for shoes, i can understand the trying on part....because diff companies seem to have a variation in size....but why cant you put the shoes on yourself??
Well I do not see the 'necessity' to hold hands or feet when you can do so yourself. For us who live abroad, do you guys walk into a shoe store and have someone put them on for you? No, right. So what's the need in Pakistan when women are capable enough to do it themselves. Same thing with chooriyan also- how hard is it to put them on when you have to do it yourself at home once you buy them.. unless you have people putting them on for you at home also.
oh common ladies ladies ladies.........wer not the only ones with all these problems.....theres a whole Pakisan full of little and big girls with the same problem..........haven't uv wondered how PK girls are slightly different to us wen it comes to talking to the shop keepers?...there so blunt and rude....well u have to be.....if u want summit quick and fast without making conversation u gotta be rude.......wen i first went, i used to say salam first and smile coz that wots u do in UK ryt?.....i realised the moment u smile there all over u and winking at u.....so ive started to ignore all that and get on with wot i came for.....
the shoe guy and the chooriyan guy have a job and business to run too u know........how there gona make money by jus lookin or touching girls hands and feet?.....
ive seen some old uncles who sell too and wen they put chooriyan on u, they hardly look at u, they jus do their job, u like it u buy it, u dont take em off and off u go...
I don't think its hypocrisy. When you go in for a job interview, it's to be polite and professional. its NOT for pleasure. Whereas, letting a man rub your feet or hands for churiyan is either to get cheap thrills or out of sheer laziness/what Sahar said, that men running stalls are beneath them and thus can touch them.
it is hypocrisy when you set your own standards of modesty and think all the ppl who do something at the lower levels are cheap and perverts.... I mean come on, if you can set your own standards, others can have their own on their minds.... so we all need to respect their models of modesty as well. Why do we all think that whatever we do is the only perfect way to live and all the others are sluts and pimps???
Another norm of the US society is to respect the ideology of other person and digest it as if it was of your own. It's a free world afterall, remember?????
And btw, how can one tell a guy sticking his hands out to shake is being professional and polite and all innocent, while the dukandaar at the chori store is being a sex-hound, offering (but not begging) you his help. I mean how can we know what's exactly on the mind of the other person?????
Oh and not to mention, also after hire i have witnessed those polite manners going from hand-shake to hugs to massaging the shoulders, all under the sweet, friendly, and polite mannered environment of a professional office setting :) ....
Well I do not see the 'necessity' to hold hands or feet when you can do so yourself. For us who live abroad, do you guys walk into a shoe store and have someone put them on for you? No, right. So what's the need in Pakistan when women are capable enough to do it themselves. Same thing with chooriyan also- how hard is it to put them on when you have to do it yourself at home once you buy them.. unless you have people putting them on for you at home also.
Well, infact, I have seen it happening and it is an option here if you want, unless if you shop at the Payless or Walmart.
^I have shopped at Nordstrom, Aldo's, Steve Madden, many other shoe stores in Manhattan, etc etc and I am yet to see someone who came to put shoes on me.. they are more than happy to bring you your size and assist you personally with any questions but noone has asked me if they can help me try it on.. I don't know what stores you have seen do that but please do share :)
The standard of "morally good" and "morally bad" is set by religon, not me and you. It is normal for Turks to kiss the class / job mate of opposite gender on both sides of the cheeks, and I am sure my wife won't tolerate that in my case, neither does my religon.
At times it might be hard to avoid being touched, specially if no other doctor (e.g. dentist) is available, then one should have "karahat" (uncomfortable feeling) plus fear of Allah (swt) in heart. Allah (swt) knows all the good and bad desires rising in the depths of our heart. The Judgement would be based on "Niyyah" (Intentions).
In case of opposite gender shop keepers the giving and taking of money (coins) can be taken care of. In buses one can keep a reasonable distance.
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The Judgement would be based on "Niyyah" (Intentions).
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Exactly.
Simply spekaing, when ur out in the world, going to school or shopping or whatever, little things like this will happen. Theres a big difference between this and actions such as hugging or kissing or holding/shaking hands. Intentions do matter alot (not that those latter actions are excuseable b/c of intentions) but i dont think little things like being on a crowded bus or money exchanging hands should matter...
That being said, i dont make a big fuss if theres a male doctor, (do feel slightly uncomfortable)...hate when a man sits next to me on the train/bus..and i wont let guys in pak help me put my shoes on (wtH!).. guess im a hypocrite :@:
Well, I am not any less hypocrite than anyone else, may Allah (swt) forgive me. One should have a good intention BUT one should also try ones level best to do "exactly the way" Allah has ordered us and the Prophet (saw) has taught us to do.
e.g. One of my class fellows used to say that he watches a TV programm in which women are shown on beach, but his intentions of watching were pure and clean.
p.s. Not that I am applying it on anyone, just giving an example of "Way of Actions" being important along with intentions.
May Allah (swt) bless us with the strength and wisdom to follow the path which Allah (swt) wants us to follow.
Well, infact, I have seen it happening and it is an option here if you want, unless if you shop at the Payless or Walmart.
ummmm never seen it either, -maybe u shop fob I dunno
what I have seen is ull put on the shoe and is u want or say something like does this fit theyll check it. Its not an automatic thing
