Re: Why do some sisters prefer not to live with in-laws?
I really think that newlywed couples should live on their own for the first couple of years. It's a good opportunity for them to get to know each other better away from glaring eyes, and they get the privacy they deserve as they consummate a conjugal relationship. Also, every girl dreams of having her own little nest, with things done her own way. It's a time of experimenting with the cooking, decorating the way you want, dressing how you want.
Sometimes, when a newlywed couple is forced to live with the inlaws, it can create tension and resentment between the DIL and new family, especially MIL. When I was newly married, my MIL came to live with us. I was new to the whole wife thing and MIL thing. And there were many times that I messed up or got flustered under her watchful eye. I resented the fact that she ALWAYS tagged along when we went out. I resented the fact that our bedrooms were right next to each other's in our tiny apartment, and that we had to share a bathroom. I resented it when I was responsible for all the cooking and cleaning and laundry, while she sat there and watched TV all day. I resented it when I caught her going through my drawers, or when she rearranged my furniture, or when she criticized my cooking and serving style. She was with us for a year, but afterwards, I couldn't help but dislike her more than I liked her. Now, I've been married seven years, and I feel so much more confident about everything--being a good wife, a good mother and a decent homemaker. I don't think it would faze me one bit if she were to come and live with us because I know how to handle myself and my home with much more grace. If she had waited before just a few years before coming to live with us, I'm sure the experience would have been much more pleasant than it was.
The bottom line is that everyone deserves their own little nest, and I think MILs should realize that and nurture that so that when the time arises and the parents need help, the DIL won't harbor any ill will against them and it won't be such a big deal if the inlaws come to live with their adult kids. People most want their own personal space when they're young and newly married. The time before kids is like an extended honeymoon or like dating. That is a very fleeting and temporary time and once you've become the older married couple, and you already have a boisterous house thanks to your kids, then having the inlaws with you is hardly a problem or an invasion of privacy.