This is so completely unfair and totally unreasonable AND I have just come to terms with the significance of it, having heard the story time and again from friends. Ladies, do you wonder sometimes why men who can be totally sweet and utterly charming, promising you the moon, stars, and everthing in between, can turn on you in a split sec? In my naivete, I used to think that no matter who the person is, everyone deserves a chance no matter what situations they’ve had or what their background is. They deserve their stories to be heard. You lend them your ear and your shoulder to lean on and a relationship develops, but whenever it’s your time of need, they try consoling with nothing more than empty words like “it’ll be ok.” When you try to keep your options open as per them, you do so but then they come back with the “you are cheating on me” line, when you try to time and again prove how wrong they are about you, they “kick you in the butt” some more and make it like it’s their way or the highway. The pattern begins to change and you start to become the dominated one rather than the pillar you once were in their eyes. And in time, you become a “b–ch” in their eyes, a hag-like creature no one would even spit upon. They kick you to the curb, humiliate you with nasty words and threats, all the while having kept many secrets of their own from you and having cheated on you while you have been nothing but open with them. Ironic.
My intuition is: insecurity, fear of getting too close to a person, or both. Either way, it’s pretty sad to see such behavior.
In line with the topic, here is something of interest:
Freud followed Plato in his account of the nature of mental health or psychological well-being, which he saw as the establishment of a harmonious relationship between the three elements which constitute the mind. If the external world offers no scope for the satisfaction of the id’s pleasure drives, or, more commonly, if the satisfaction of some or all of these drives would indeed transgress the moral sanctions laid down by the super-ego, then an inner conflict occurs in the mind between its constituent parts or elements - failure to resolve this can lead to later neurosis. A key concept introduced here by Freud is that the mind possesses a number of ‘defence mechanisms’ to attempt to prevent conflicts from becoming too acute, such as repression (pushing conflicts back into the unconscious), sublimation (channelling the sexual drives into the achievement socially acceptable goals, in art, science, poetry, etc.), fixation (the failure to progress beyond one of the developmental stages), and regression (a return to the behaviour characteristic of one of the stages).
Yeah right. Its all timing. Females wish to push for something too soon when they are emotionally ready. but the guy may not be. Why do they say guys are commitment phobic? For this very reason. They get in stuff they dont want to be involved in or dont think they are ready for.
When females pull all those cliche tricks, you havent said you loved me etc. Guys require a "Scotty 1 to beam up". Dont push for something that aint there. Most of the time you know it aint there, when he isnt.
Oh sorry, i forgot the mantra. Men are evil. They are responsible for all that is wrong in the world, including the pimple on my face. How could they dare treat me in such a manner. I deserve so much to hell with men. I would be lesbien if it was allowed in Islam.
I need a sex change operation now, i am feel so disgusted being a man.
You are learning well, come and join the pseudo feminist, not lesbian rasnks, although the later is possibly thing more apealing to you than anything else in this thread.
Say SP, not intending on throwing any “interesting” surprises from deep inside the closet are we?
O yea, men are *******s, tahts why they are gonna die out, think of it as mother nature taking revenge for us female folk be strong sister jee
Sweetpie, there are nice guys out there but most of them are just how you described them. But those ones arent marriage material anyway - the sweet-talkers. Never marry a guy whos a sweet-talker. Marry one thats completely uncharming, a bit clueless when it comes to women, and has never had a girlfriend in his life. Those are the best. But alas, where do you find such guys.
Sweetpie, if I am not wrong, what you are saying is that why guys change after a while??From being the nicest guy ever to you being the b***h???
If i understood the post correctly, I think even some women can be like that so its just another behaviour issue, not a gender related. PLus not all guys are like that. There is a lot of wonderful people out there, we just have to get to know them a little bit more.
I think if I guy treats you like taht then i would say, he isnt really interested in you maybe???Just trying to take advantage?? I mean you cant change how people are. I guess just try to find someone who is really interested in you and your qualities.
I am not sure if I am making any sense or not. I havent had any caffiene yet :)
^ Or drown you quickly if you cant swim and the streams too deep.
SP- there are good apples as there are bad apples. And not all bad apples look bad on the skin; in fact they may be very good looking on the surface. Same applies to men. People often aim for the surface (cause it is after all the most obivious thing) and hence when the find the insides are rotten, we complain.
Every person needs to figure out what they want not just on the surface but also underneath and then do a due dilligence like Frauds has mentioned. The surface can often be cosmetically enhanced but the insides are much harder to change :).
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
Marry one thats completely uncharming, a bit clueless when it comes to women, and has never had a girlfriend in his life. Those are the best. But alas, where do you find such guys.
[/QUOTE]
I dunno you really can not tell about people.. if you find yourself always making excuses for him/her then there's a serious problem..
I know I've said this lots of times.. but don't mistake arrogance for confidence!
you girls always wanna fix everything.. understand people do not change ..
never ignore your instincts ..if something does not seem right it most likely is not!
be strong sister jee