I think the problem comes when you think that the person you have just met is near perfect, and that their behaviour will remain the same as it was in the courting period.
I've seen enough relationships to know that isnt the case, and infact one of the first things I do when meeting rishtas or just any guy who may be interested in me, is I make a mental note of things I dont find agreeable and even sometimes ask what the other person doesnt find agreeable about me. And I can tell you that eventhough it shocks some guys/risthas, it works! They tell, if you ask the right way. This keeps me more grounded. May not work for others but works for me. Communication is key.
A change in someone’s attitude is not necessarily a conflict between id and super-ego (as per Freud’s theory). It is every individual’s right (selfish maybe) to choose what is best for him/her. It is to a certain extent inline with individual’s instincts and there isn’t any repression per se. I don’t see why you would disagree with it or refer to it as defense mechanism, insecurity or fear.
Catty, I think there are good men and there are bad men. One doesn’t outweigh the other, necessarily. Both can be found although the “real” men (genuine, caring, understanding, etc.) are tougher to identify.
Ira, I totally agree. By the way, this isn’t a gender-biased issue at all. The situation can apply to both men and women.
Fraudz, alas if only I didn’t have the habit of jumping heart-first into relationships (weak point of being a Leo ) but heck, I’m learning. Thanks for the advice, as always.
Hmcq, thanks for the advice and no, I’m definitely not one to jump at men for looks only or anything. The package pretty much needs to be there but sadly sometimes when one or two traits in a person become endearing to you, you tend to overlook alot of other things, which is not the right way to go.
Waqas, good point however, I think people can change certain aspects of their personality/character but only if they themselves are willing to.
Munni, that entirely direct approach upon meeting someone for the very first time…hmm…not my style but thanks for the suggestion anyhow.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
Marry one thats completely uncharming, a bit clueless when it comes to women, and has never had a girlfriend in his life. Those are the best. But alas, where do you find such guys.
[/QUOTE]
I met 2...love the first one..and getting to know the other..I'm such a player I tell you...:D
Catty is right..those overly romantic and smooth talkers are nothign but trouble...they know what to say to make you feel liek jello...on teh other hand the guy that says the most unromantic but down right honest stuff gets my heart...
And Frauds is rite...choose teh right man..and if you happened to find teh wrong one..FORGET HIM...don't dwell on your pain..the more you remember it the bitter you will get and miss out other colorful opportunities
Good advice LK! There are the guys that my parents would like, but the ones that I tend to like . . . well, that’s another story. However, getting to know a variety of friends has led me to one very good conclusion - I have known dear men and I have known cads. And if I truthfully listen to my gut, to my conscience, I can always tell them apart. So thanks to the good, the bad, and the ugly - I now can trust my own judgement.
Good luck Sweetie - my Mum always told me that before you meet your hadsome prince, you must “kiss” a lot of toads!
) but heck, I’m learning. Thanks for the advice, as always.
