Growing up in the UK, all my friends who aren’t muslims (even the media) assume that in Islam women have absolutely no status whatsoever.
Why is that?
(I just wanted to know what peoples thoughts on this are)
Usually one learns from the society rather than actual text or true sense of something that society follows. Its actually us who are portraying this concept of islam on their minds, which doesn't actually exist but we have put in their minds that it does. Islam has guide lines for both men and women, unfortunately men being prominant in the muslim society deprive women from many of their rights, but its not islam its men and women. Men who deprive, and women who let them do so.
Islam sells in the west.
Islam is the most misunderstood religion in the world.
Women right issues are hot in general.
We have failed to explain the difference between religion and culture. Most illiterates as well in educated Muslims can’t see the difference between these two.
We are ‘responsible’ for most of the propaganda published in the media, as we started our fight against it too late.
Because of our poor knowledge we often need our Molvies or mulahs to explain things, and not all of them are trained to explain Islamic issues to western media or western Muslims, that’s not = they don’t know what they’re talking about, it’s more because ppl back home don’t torture them with ‘but why’ questions.
Sometimes when discussing Islam, things gets otta hand and ppl start discussing what should be right or wrong instead and convince them self’s that that’s what Quran says too – ego kambakht na.
When we females get stuck in some cultural khadda, most of the time our parents/family explains the tradition as being a part of Islam, and some of us might never confirm if it really is Islam, so when asked we’ll say this or that stupidity is a part of Islam.
These are some of the reasons; maybe someone can come up with more.
Did I answer your question?? hmmm...
Lemme enter in this discussion with:
Plz mind this fact that in Islam man has higher rights than woman.
This is the general fact. Both biased parties have manipulated this fact in their favour.
Normally in Pakistan, the feudal lords use this in their favour, while West has its own perception of Islamic religion and polygamy. Thats how they feel that a good Muslim with more than one wife is like the hero of a third rated XXX movie..... Further I can't explain, its upto your vision.
Secondly, the women activists they want to break the bond of Islam (somehow...). So they take 'the higher value of man in Islam' as a negative point for women. Thats not the right approach. They feel any one who is marrying more than ONCE is nothing but a culprit.
I totally disagree iwth all these women. Our Holy Prophet(pbuh) got married many times and in todays modern society I personally prefer, instead of having multiple Girl Friends, its better to get married more than once, provided with some good reasons.
At least NIKAHH is much much better than ZENA(adultery). Otherwise ONE is also more than enough.(My personal opinion, am sorry for it, if someone gets offended.)
Nadeem
Our Holy Prophet(pbuh) got married many times and in todays modern society I personally prefer, instead of having multiple Girl Friends, its better to get married more than once, provided with some good reasons<<
Does this apply to women also?
[This message has been edited by Rani (edited February 23, 2000).]
Rani,
If you don't know anything about ISLAM and Islamic Culture, plz don't talk about OUR own culture. I believe, based on your last postings that you belong to SIKH community.
While talking about our Holy Prophet(pbuh), try to control your SARCASTIC comments. Understand!
A Muslim Woman, no matter, how broad minded she is, will never ever, make any comment about our Holy Prophet (pbuh) and his way of life.
Hey Paki Girls, am I right or wrong????????
Nadeem
Nadeem
Regarding your earlier comment that Nikaah is better than Zena: suppose the following situation arose;
You are seeing a muslim woman and you two are serious about each other. So much that you want to get married but neither your parents agree and her parents don't agree either. What do you do? Do you marry her or do you finish it?
What I mean is that suppose you really want to marry each other - do you marry her against your parents wishes (knowing that they will eventually agree) or continue the relationship until your parents agree? Which is the bigger sin - getting married without your parent's permission or sex before marriage?
First tell us what Islam says and then what YOU personally would do in this situation.
Nadeem,
Islam does NOT give men more rights than women. Why is it that they say that janat is at the feet of your mother? This is just one of the situations where a women is given more priority than a man.
In my own view men should NOT marry more than once. They are required to treat all the wives the same, emotionally and econmically. This is not possible, so don't do it.
I know that the question was not directed at me but I dont think that islam requires that you have your parent's permission to marry someone.
As far as the second part goes. Its up to the person and the circumstances is'nt it and does not have a cookie cutter answer.
Hi Fraudz,
In your quote,
"As far as the second part goes. Its up to the person and the circumstances is'nt it and does not have a cookie cutter answer"
are you referring to the sex before marriage part? Islam clearly states that this is haraam.
Nadeem,
I only asked the following question in answer to your post in which you justify multiple marriages.
Does this apply to women also?<<
It is interesting to see you defending yourself instead of replying to my question.
Thanks for your warning that muslim girls never ask any questions. All power to you.
[This message has been edited by Rani (edited February 23, 2000).]
Lubna,
[quote]
Nadeem, Regarding your earlier comment that Nikaah is better than Zena: suppose the following situation arose; You are seeing a muslim woman and you two are serious about each other. So much that you want to get married but neither your parents agree and her parents don't agree either. What do you do? Do you marry her or do you finish it?
[/quote]
Very first, am not a Mufte/Molve to give FATWAs.
Anyhow, this is very common situation in UK. When I was in London, I came across many of such situations. Here you keep two things in your mind:
- Always prefer Nikah over Zena. Look at the personality of the guy with whom the girl is badly in love. If that guy is God fearing, Muslim, and Shareef enough to bear the girl WHOLE of HER/HIS life, then there is no point in following the way of Parents.
With due respect you can convince/getaway from parents, provided you have good religious, moral, social and financial support from the guy.
- In West, the word relationship normally used for SEX only concept, while in our Pakistan its all common, morally. The ultimate HOME of a girl is her HUSBAND's house. So plz take care of your ultimate house.
Lubna, By chance I came across the same situation once all in my life. Thanks God, I
perfected myself. I was prepared to provide that girl all religious, moral, social and financial support. Though thats a different story that she backfired at the last moment.
Nadeem
[This message has been edited by Nadeem (edited February 23, 2000).]
Farhana,
As your question is also valid, so I am posting it another post.
No, Jinab! Men are above the Women. Thats what our religion has decided and after 1500 years ago no one has right to RE-DEFINE the Islam.
As far as Status of woman is concerned, her rights and her role among the family. Yeah! She is a central figure. Plz don't mixed RIGHTS with STATUS.
For that matter, you can study "Women Status in Islam" by Abul Hassan Ali Nadwi, he was the President of Oxford Islamic Center. Its a very good book.
Rani Ji,
[quote]
Nadeem,
I only asked the following question in answer to your post in which you justify multiple marriages.
>>Does this apply to women also?<<
It is interesting to see you defending yourself instead of replying to my question.
Thanks for your warning that muslim girls never ask any questions. All power to you.
[/quote]
If my words really hurt you, then plz accept my heartiest apologize.
Plz, look at your OWN question. If you think seriously, you will laugh at yourself.
Though you are a girl and willing to understand Islamic perception, then here it is:
You asked about more than ONE HUSBAND. By, nature WOMEN love only one person, whatsoever their religion is. This is the philosophy of Human nature. God, Who has created the whole mankind, knows better about His creatures. Thats how He allowed only ONE HUSBAND at a time for Woman.
As per the modern science, kids and other issues are also there. Though these issues have less value than HUMAN NATURE. Plz think over it, you will laugh at your own question.
Hope that satisfied you. Again you are most welcome to understand Islam, Islamic society, our culture, status of Muslim women etc.
Sorry again, for any bad comments.
Nadeem
[This message has been edited by Nadeem (edited February 23, 2000).]
sorry farhana
I realize my answer was a bit unclear. I was answering the question that if your parents dont agree what do you do, continue against their will or call it quits.
Which I think depends heavily on the circumstances.
"By, nature WOMEN love only one person"
Nadeem, is it not possible for a man to love only one person? Is successfuly polygamy possible?
I've had this debate with guys before about men and affairs. The guys always say that they don't mean to do it, "it just happens". Is that right? Surely if you're happy with the person you are with, then you will have no need to look at others.
Whoops.....sorry for the digression :)
[This message has been edited by farhana (edited February 23, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by farhana (edited February 23, 2000).]
[This message has been edited by farhana (edited February 23, 2000).]
Farhana,
[quote]
Nadeem, is it not possible for a man to love only one person? Is successfuly polygamy possible?
I've had this debate with guys before about men and affairs. The guys always say that they don't mean to do it,
"it just happens". Is that right? Surely if you're happy with the person you are with, then you will have no need
to look at others.
[/quote]
I spend almost many years in searching that what is man and his nature. Being a man, I concluded having some personal experiences, that its the nature of man to love more than one woman. People have ver pretty wives but after all they look at other woman. Contrary to that, if a woman is having a smart, educated, talented and Shareef husband, she will never ever look at other guy. Believe it or not. Thats true for woman only.
The girl will look at other guy (other than her husband) only if she is facing some problem with that guy.
By the way, 'am not in favour of POLYGAMY. ** eak hee buhat kafee hotee hay...eak hee nay ess haal ko puhanch deya hay kay KHUDKASHEE kay qareeb houN** Phir bhee dil hay kay Aurat kee TAAREFF keya jatahay.
Dil Hay kay manta NahieN!!!!!!!!!
Nadeem
you can't blame polygamy on the human nature on men!! We are all accountable for our own actions!!!!!!!!!
Nadeem,
First of all you didn't hurt my feelings, I was very amused by your defensive reply to my first post.
You asked about more than ONE HUSBAND. By, nature WOMEN love only one person, whatsoever their religion is. This is the philosophy of Human nature<<
According to you men can love more then one women but women can only love one man. You will agree that this sounds very self serving, selfish and wishful thinking. It is interesting to note that human beings can rationalize everything no matter how selfish, wrong and one sided it is, as long it serves them.
Nadeem,
Thanx for your reply. So when you were in that situation, were your parents agreed to it or were both your parents and her parents disagreed?
I suppose you are glad now that it all finished when it did, because you know she was not worth it.
Tricky situation, heyna?
Rani Ji,
[quote]
According to you men can love more then one women but women can only love one man. You will agree that this
sounds very self serving, selfish and wishful thinking. It is interesting to note that human beings can rationalize
everything no matter how selfish, wrong and one sided it is, as long it serves them.
[/quote]
Thanks for this. By the way the most SELFISH, WISHFUL and SELF SERVING creature in this world is MAN. For his only 9 minutes pleasure, he will put a woman for 9 months punishement. Sorry for these bad comments but this is fact. Whenever you find a SHAREEF MAN, plz let me know.
Lubna,
No parents were not an issue. Inshallah a time will come when she will realize that ** Kay kess ko thukraya hay!!!!** May be I will not in this world, Inshallah Inshallah, Ameen!!!!
Farhana,
If you are married, look at the qualities of your husband. am sure after looking at your pretty FRIENDS, he must be criticizing you, could be politely or indirectly. Whats that! Attraction towards opposite sex.
Aray Jinab Apnee BV kess ko achchee lagtee hay!!!! Hay Na murd ke fitrat.
Nadeem
[This message has been edited by Nadeem (edited February 23, 2000).]