Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
it is easier having preferences about your life, if you have a real career, and choice of independence. if not, you are just a bakri who can be tied to whoever offers you chaara.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
Chochi are you still running your online mehndi business :D
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
these classifications are just so silly.
I do think you're being fussy, and so are your parents (if they are rejecting boys on the basis of them being from UK).
I dont think either one of you is better (or more right) than the other.
There are exceptionally decent guys from back home who come overseas to study and make a living or a life for themselves. And some of these guys are exceptional husbands, dads, friends and what not. They know what struggle means and they know the meaning of life.
You cant just sod them off just because they happened to be students or are from backhome. Infact, some of them make the bestest of husbands.
The whole immigration talk and what not, is rather amusing too.
Bottom line, its your life, but dont refuse someone on the basis of them being a student from Pakistan. That is childish.
Talk to them, if you click.. good on you. But dont go in with the notion of "I am not going to marry him".
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
these classifications are just so silly.
I do think you're being fussy, and so are your parents (if they are rejecting boys on the basis of them being from UK).
I dont think either one of you is better (or more right) than the other.
There are exceptionally decent guys from back home who come overseas to study and make a living or a life for themselves. And some of these guys are exceptional husbands, dads, friends and what not. They know what struggle means and they know the meaning of life.
You cant just sod them off just because they happened to be students or are from backhome. Infact, some of them make the bestest of husbands.
The whole immigration talk and what not, is rather amusing too.
Bottom line, its your life, but dont refuse someone on the basis of them being a student from Pakistan. That is childish.
Talk to them, if you click.. good on you. But dont go in with the notion of "I am not going to marry him".
Yes u r right, she should just decide case by case on merit, when ever u fix 1 thing in mind may be ur parents will not like that, meeting someone is not mean that u will marry him, just have a meeting & chit chat.......
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
There is no harm in meeting those guys. U never know
BUT if you are absolutely certain certain that you will not marry a guy from back-home come what may (no matter if he is an Masters-degree-holder-intellectual-Tom-Cruise-of-20-years-ago-with-6-figure-income) , you should tell this to your parents in clear words and save them some blushes to.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
I understand what you all are saying but i dont know i just do not wana marry someone from back home and i know i wont be able to communicate with him becuase im really not up to marry some1 from ther.
i cant see guys from bakhome as a husband...i only see them as uncles and brothers nothing moree...i dont know i want a guy british born from uk and lol chit chat with a guy? my parents r gna make me sit in a room with siblings n talk to them and thats only once?
i peersonaly belive its gd to be mates with a guy b4 u marry him...because friends wont reali hide anyfin but when a guy knows he might marry a girl then he will hide alot of things. i dont know i just dont wana marry backhome and ive been clear to my mum but still theyr trying to get me to get married to someone from there and later wen i keep saying no they wil put me down, uknow how? ohh u think too much of urself ect....
i dont have guts to disrespect my parents n if i stand up for myself theyr gna think im disrespecting them
and they think guys and girls in uk dont get along? they break up? is that true?
theyr lisening to people more then theyr kids
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
Chochi are you still running your online mehndi business :D
Hey yup and same time ive got my salon running tooo :), qualified hairdresser, beautician and make up artist tooo...mehndi comes natural ;) hehe...how du u remember me tho? lol
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
And in that hour that you sit with him in the living room, you can either be an ACHIChiPAALIChi ChochiChiBachi and give him the idea you’re so hot for him, or you can choose to be a GANDI* Chi* DHEET* ChiChochiChi *Bachi and put him off. So, what’s it gonna be, Bachi?
You’re not a powerless bakri. 
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
For a 20 yr old who is UK born and raised, your english/typing sounds mighty Fobby, no offense, but I’ve seen Pakistani born, raised and educated people on this forum who can communicate better than you, so maybe considering a rishta from Pakistan is not the death sentence you seem to think it is?
No offense meant, just my observations
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
You just might find an awesome guy among the rishta candidates. So, you can either try to keep an open mind about them and this will require effort. Or if your'e 100% sure that you can't do it, then stand firmly behind your decision, even if that means going up against your parents.
If you decide that you don't want something or that you DO want something and then you're too afraid fight/stand up for it....that's a very frustrating, ugly place to be in.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
0_____0
Note to self: UK bred girls, not a good idea.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
ive seen many girls, who thought like you at your age, struggle later on in life with finding the right partner.
They let go of great guys just on that basis (back home). Never gave them a go.
Sad, really.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
lol i cnt du anyfin bad otherwise my parents wil give me one emotional lecture + they will say ur badnaaaming us and seriously i dont hve the guts to speak to a guy infront of my parents, its like il talk to them but not infront of them but they wont understand uggghhh
lol i know my typing is all over the place…i dont mind if he cant find work, but if i get married wer i dont want to go then i know i will mke no effort but if i get married wer im happy then i will make the best of effort…and bak to if he cant find worrk, i can always be a gd partner and stand up with him to open a business 
and dontworry i dont get offended easily lol…
exactly my point and worst is that i only have my parents to talk to but there turning there faces? ive never done anything wrong but now it looks like theyr forcing me to take wrong steps? which i still wouldnt do but i know i wil have alot to head…
lol
Give them a chance? but its a big decision? everyones different in reaacting to good and bad? ive just been honest and straight to my parents about what i want, do i not deserve that? ive kept there respect, made them proud? its my life, i will live with the man, i know who i will feel comfortablee with but stil they dont want to lisen? is that how parents treat there kids?
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
and this type of attitude is going to get you what you want? ** its my life.. etc etc **
I am not saying do whatever your parents are saying. I am saying, dont be so rigid. That is all
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
ive not spoke like this infront of my parents because i cant but how can i tel them that? theyr doing it for my best but y ddont they get me what i want?
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
to be honest, i dont even know whether you're mature enough to be married... just tell them that?
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
it is easier having preferences about your life, if you have a real career, and choice of independence. if not, you are just a bakri who can be tied to whoever offers you chaara.
ouch
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
to be honest, i dont even know whether you're mature enough to be married... just tell them that?
but still they wont stop looking, bigest thing is my mums nt communicating with mee, shes just puting me more down and ignoring me...i feel that im being treated as if ive done a big mistake in my life...and i dont think im ready yet either but they think they shud have guys in mind n i know they wont put interest in looking here...they might just do it as a show to me...
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
Chochi - I think you need some time to sort things out. Tell your parents you are not ready now. Maybe in 2 years. This will give you some time to think things through. It is possible as you get a bit older, you may change your rigid views re: rishthas from back home.
Anyway, I think you are a sweet kid and a good sport. Good luck to you.
Re: Why do my parents not understand? (marriage)
you must keep on telling your parents if your mother listens to uk side stories like people from uk don´t get along then she must listen to pakistan side stories that most of the students are always looking for some girls who could get them red passport and according to uk immigration news most of the students in uk are not students in fact rather work their to earn money.
so they must keep in mind both sides of the picture.