Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

I agree with Enigmatic. I don't think a conversation opening with that dialogue is ever going to yield fruitful results.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say “lets discuss it”?

The truth is that women are better than men at talking through a point and making it seem that the other is in the wrong. My wife has given up arguing with me … I don’t blame her … :slight_smile:

More seriously my wife has never been a person who needs to talk to be heard … and if she is annoyed as she rightly says - she goes on a shopping spree - but it makes her feel bad for being fazool kharch … many times she returns the stuff that she bought in haste … I have my life to live … I have been trying very hard to rid myself (somewhat unsuccessfully) of attachments to the dunya … this is my goal and I treat every attempt that she has to get me angry as part of my test … :slight_smile:

I disagree with her that I start any argument … I dislike argumentation and most men do … some react by enforcing their views and others are trained to accept every view their wife gives … I started off trying to be pragmatic and wanted to “discuss things” … much later I learned to give my wife a lot more space … I wanted her to stay away from making mistakes and she wanted to make them and learn from them herself … I felt her approach lacked wisdom, but if I was too strict it would have had worse ramifications … so I now give her space.

These days I only get involved in any of her affairs if I feel real alarm bells ringing otherwise I trust her judgement - she is very good at understanding abstract matters and that was why I married her … she doesn’t annoy me … but sometimes she tries to … I never try to annoy her, but somehow I manage to … :bummer:

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

What Decent said word to word and then of course women get very emotional when they open their mouth to talk.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

I didn't realise that women have a tendency "to milk it" - but after reading D6C's post ... I'm gonna have to do some reading up.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

I find they are quite composed but only get emotional when their real plans get discovered ... hehehe

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say “lets discuss it”?

wow, you know how to teach lesson. :cb:

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say “lets discuss it”?

teach lesson?

I’m sorry but I don’t have any intentions to teach anyone lessons…I just want to maintain the peace.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say “lets discuss it”?

Peace STA

If I learn to detach from dunya successfully then the lessons will only be her own to learn … I advise every man to learn detachment … :slight_smile:

but I just noticed that she is not teaching anyone any lessons …

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

what do you mean by detach from dunya?

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say “lets discuss it”?

:salute:
seriously, you post is great and i want to say a lot of thanks.

31

Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

What lesson you want me to learn?

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

Weaknesses of our materialistic desires

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

Let me consult D6C list and I will tell you ... just a sec :)

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

no, what exactly do you mean, in pain english...?

examples?

im just trying to understand

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

i think i should reply in pm.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

You really are "pain" english ... LOL

Men have a weakness in how their wealth is spent and in their love for their wives and children ... these weaknesses can be exploited if a woman "cries" to get her way or if she "spends" to get you back ... hence the remarks by STA ...

I want to be able to maintain my responsibilities as a husband without letting my weaknesses cloud my judgement ...

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

so instead of being strong, understanding your wife and reconciling with her you want to avoid it all? just because she cries means she exploits? am i understanding you correctly?

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

No ... When she cries - I don't get emotional as well - but find the root cause of her concerns ... and when she spends too much it is not out of hatred for me but to cure herself of an ache that I need to find out ... If I let my attachments get the better of me then I will be unable to find the root causes and end up either trying to treat symptoms or reacting negatively to them.

But if I find there is some attacking happening then I should forebear it and be patient.

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

bhai zarori nahi k eik rowey tu sara ghar roey. Some heads should prevail and take care of the issue eh?

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Re: Why do men freak out when women say "lets discuss it"?

so you are an emotional guy? and working towards being unemotional? with respect to your family at least...?