Re: Why Do men do this???
yeah set them straight.
girls abroad so far, have failed to develop a character(accumulative) for them selves. Remember respect is never given--ppl earn it my child...
(guys are no different--so un-kool)
Girls living abroad are ma'shallah very good and very accomplished thanks to better resources than found in Pakistan.
Assuming that girls abroad don't earn their respect is such an assinine statement and shows you exactly why this trend of going back to the pind to find a more moldable girl is even going on in the first place. Monk, these girls you look down upon are better than 100 monks. At least they can string together a coherent sentence.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
Your signature explains it all PCG :D
Oh come on. you know not every american girl thinks that way. 
girls from abroad are so un-kool. girls back home are totally awesome.
Girls from abroad are well rounded and have the best of both worlds.
girls abroad so far, have failed to develop a character(accumulative) for them selves. Remember respect is never given--ppl earn it my child...
(guys are no different--so un-kool)
Okay, how is this true Monk? If you've seen character-less girls abroad, Ive seen them in real life in Pakistan and here. One of your fob-girls managed to get pregnant twice (aborted twice) with two different men while she was engaged to someone here. The girls I know that are currently living with their inlaws and making things work for their marriages are definitely NOT fob-girls...they're ABCDs. All the fobs I know are doing their own thing, dont care for family and are living the "modran" life. The abayas are rotting in some corner of the house along with their full-coverage shalwar kameez.
If you plan on staying in the West, marrying in the West and having children here also...you might have a daughter someday Inshallah. When and if you do, you will spend your entire life giving her the best of the best deeni taaleem and education. You might even change your life around to be a better example for her. You will beat any man that dares to look at her with a red hot poker. You will want your daughter to be looked at for who she is and what she has accomplished. And then someone will come out of nowhere to tell you your child is character-less JUST because she happened to be born in Canada. How will you react? Will you be nice to them or will you want to punch them because your entire life's sacrifices will be flashing in front of your eyes? How dare they say that about your child? How dare they say that about anyone else's child?
No, the girls here are not failing to develop character any less then any girl in Pakistan...in fact there is more integrity and honesty here then there ever was in Pakistan. My parents wont even marry us to boys within the family, thats how much fraud happens there. Paper marriages are a problem because of lack of integrity in fobs. When a fob shows up for a rishta anywhere...everyone looks at them suspicously. WHy? Is it because he has horns coming out of his head? No, its because he and his kind have damaged Pakistanis reputations due to greed and hasad. Fathers are hesitant to marry their kids off to fob-men because of green card scams that Pakistanis have done. Its a real life problem. My cousin just got married in Pakistan and her father (my mamu) gave gold, cash, furniture, appliances, cars and scooters for jehez. My cousin's saas (a Pakistani woman) demanded all these things from my mamu. What character are you dreaming of?
If ABCDs are looked at as characterless and badmash then fobs are looked at greedy, conniving and characterless.
I said this is how men might think… not a claim about how girls think.
Re: Why Do men do this???
to the original poster: Guys do that because they want to be the dominant one in the relationship. If they marry a girl from here they would be equal or less dominant.
They are scared of that :halo:
So if you can say “yes” to everything they say and make him feel like a God on mountain top - then he might consider you over that virgin b*tch back home 
Re: Why Do men do this??????
^ LMAO!!!
Re: Why Do men do this???
people really need to stop attacking pakistani girls with such harsh generalizations if girl’s abroad also dont like others associating negative generalization with them!
it’s so easy to keep saying they are bad, they are bad! and then go on writing pretty poetry about oneself! 
why are we so in love with generalizations?? where is our rationality?
i’m so out of breath saying this again and again 
Re: Why Do men do this??????
No one is saying the girls from Pakistan are so bad. What we're saying is, there is no need to elevate them above girls raised abroad, since it's not like they're free of drama.
No one is saying the girls from Pakistan are so bad. What we're saying is, there is no need to elevate them above girls raised abroad, since it's not like they're free of drama.
i agree ... unfortunately that's not wat i'm reading in this thread. somehow in order to make it equal in some universe, very "pretty" words are being used.
I've seen equally bad people on both sides of the world!and equally good ones too.
and personally i am also not really for boys abroad marrying girls from back home in the situation that is being discussed, unless both of them somehow fall in love, and just really wanted to be with each other. but i guess that is RARE.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
Farrah, true, most of the time, these marriages are arranged under the assumption that girls from back home are more INNOCENT.
What really the MIL wants is an obedient maasi to do her work at her home, and she knows none of us girls educated abroad and living on our own would do that - nevermind the fact that our experience and education could carry their family really far.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
I agree. Many desi guys, whether raised in Pak or in the west want a good (read: compliant) girl to marry. They are fearful of independent and self-sufficient women.
Western women are much more self-sufficient than their desi counterparts (this is not to be taken as an insult, I just happen to think that its very true). Because even if a gal is raised in the west in a very closed family, there arent the maids, the services etc that gals in Pak are accostomed to, they have to do much more for themselves. They are also encouraged by the publc school system to become independent thinkers, to want and to strive for a life that they want for themselves. Personal thinking as opposed to collective or extended family thinking. Some guys are very fearful of women who know wht they want and how to get it.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
^ this is exactly what i was going to question ... what kind of maasi do MILs expect from Pakistan? women abroad have to do all their work themself .. no maids there ... so they perhaps are better at keeping the house together all by themselves.
unless girls abroad are also kept like princesses and all the work is done by the mother??? have seen those cases too though ... they arent non-existent.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
What they expect and what ends up happening are two different things. They expect a maasi. They get a girl who asks for a maid as hubby is making enough money to afford it.
Of course, not every case is like this, but I dont think many women from Pakistan hang out here long enough with their in-laws. They eventually separate and live independently with their husbands and only do enough maasi-work they're comfortable with.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
How do women abroad manage household with a full on career?
i have a relatively small place for myself ... and damn i am so tired during the week, and only the bare minimum gets done over the weekend.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
You schedule in time for cooking and cleaning.
I admit it is hard. My roomie, the kambakhat, does not clean and cooks like a total amateur. But then that's because she studies a lot and doesn't make the time for it.
I am a british gal married to a guy from back home and its soo hard! our thinking and outlook is so different. It was especially hard in the first few years but getting easier now I think. The point I'm trying to make is that although western girls marry guys from Pak too its much harder then when western guys marry girls from back home....my hubby agrees with me (at least we agree on something!).
Also lots of horrer stories out there about guys from Pakistan just marrying girls from Uk for visas and dumping them just after they get their stay, sometimes they don't even care about the children. Its sickening.
At some point parents will realise marrying their children (especially daughters ) to people from back home is a bad idea on so many levels.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
i could never understand ppl complaining that they cant find someone. In the same family in the same city a few cousins find good matches and get married while other cousin complains that no good matches are around. Same for friends, in a group of friends some find good matches and others cant seem to do that. same socioeconomic backgrounds, similar social circles, same city.
I am not sure what it is whether it is something to do with the person, or unrealistic demands. why is that in you folks view?