Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^ no i dont 'want muniya to think i said anything bad abt her and her family when that was never my intention at all.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
And then live off of the husband.
I am not talking about the other half which is actively seeking professional education, working and trying to become self supporting. I am talking about the girls whose mission in life is just to get married.
Their life revolves around it. University? Why bother, just go to community college for 4-5 years till a good rishta comes along. Part time job? Just get one which requires the least amount of work, just to pass time. Forget actually trying to get some marketable skills or trying to grow at a position. Rest of the time just obsess over bridal wear, jewelery and get jealous of other girls who are married.
What is their plan in life IF things don't work out? Just move back with parents and live off of alimony payments?
May be they aren't given enough support from their families... the parents choose to send the boys to better schools and the girls to whatever is 'closer' or 'cheaper' ,, and so many times they are seen as a bojh and burden till they are sent maried off... as much as this the girl's own issue ..mostly these girls are in pressures from their own family and ppl around them..
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Everyone is entitled to setting their own goals in life even if it is just getting married and raising children. Afterall, that is a full time job in itself and a highly reputable one at that.
I think it depends on the way they are raised. 9 times out of 10 the kind of girls you are talking about come from families that value other things more then an education/profession....and there is nothing wrong with that. It's a personal choice and should be respected.
Besides.....doesnt marriage fulfill half your deen? Then shouldnt marriage be a priority? :)
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
god helps the asian families:p
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
May be they aren't given enough support from their families... the parents choose to send the boys to better schools and the girls to whatever is 'closer' or 'cheaper' ,, and so many times they are seen as a bojh and burden till they are sent maried off... as much as this the girl's own issue ..mostly these girls are in pressures from their own family and ppl around them..
Dude you can still work around it ...
I am a product of that closer cheaper school--
I went to Rutgers -- All Desi central but still knew my priorities.
I really think aaj kaal ka zamana badal gaya hai
uss women are fully capable of getting the best of both worlds..
hin you yourself went to school after your kids?
So life isn't about fulfilment through marriage anymore..
For most of us anyway.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
I think some people get too hyped over this whole thing. I mean I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with a gal who aspires to be "nothing more" than a good mother and a good wife. After having worked for over a decade on wall street and then almost 7 years of raising my boys, I can tell you hands down that the most difficult job I ever loved was being a stay-at-home mother and wife. Going to work in a professional capacity was a walk in the park in comparison. So lets not make TOO lightly of this "toughest job you'll ever love"....
I get SOO pissed off when people refer to stay-at-homes as "living off the husband" and things like that. While SHE does the marketing, cleaning, laundry, ironing, child care, cooking, play-dates, PTA meetings, doctor visits etc etc. If you live in the USA and want to BUY all of these amenities, well the vast majority of us would not even be able to BEGIN to afford it.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
girls have so much pressure and probably more pressure than all desi guys to get married because if they don't get married at a particular time in their life most desi girls are over the "marriageable age" whatever that may be.
It's not the same case for guys. Even if a guy is over the age of 35, many times they can marry a girl 10 years younger than him and still have desi society look at him in a good way.
So many times it's trying to have a good career plus trying to find the right person to marry.
The fear of being alone is probably also sometimes a factor but I do agree that a girl shouldn't marry before she finishes college or atleast it shouldn't be the norm to marry at such a young age
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
I agree with Mama- when I decided I was going to be a housewife and take care of my family rather than being a career woman and juggling everything, almost everyone went WHAT?! they just couldnt believe that i would give up the career i have now once i get married in 2 years. what is wrong with that? everyone knows what their priorities are and what they are capable of doing. my mother juggled work, home, kids as a full time doctor and by watching her, i realized that i can never do the same. she has always been a lovely mother but i still cannot work and take care of home at the same time. i would rather have my husband provide for the family while i take the rest in my hands. he's more than happy about it, inlaws are more than supportive- its just funny that everyone ELSE has a problem with it :)
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
this is how a family shuld work...unless u had some accident or any other bad scene and ur man is not able to work for the family
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^ i knw most ppl r thinkng..wht a pendu soch!!
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^yep i agree. i mean it's great that many women are career oriented and do very well for themselves. but it is so wrong to look down at those who are housewives. i love my work and all but i wouldnt think twice before sacrificing it for family- that will always be my first priority.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Thanks to one of those girls otherwise I would still be a kanwara and childless.
Dude instead of complaining and bashing look one of those for you too.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
In my humble opinion, the lass's arent to blame really.
It's society. In General. Not race or culture specific.
Society very rarely accepts people who chose not to marry or are not married at a certain point in their lives. Simple as.
They either resent them or pity them.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Home affairs with woman
Foreign affairs with men
Both are full time positions
Both needs full dedication
But some extra knowledge of each others department will be a great HELP
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
I agree with Mama- when I decided I was going to be a housewife and take care of my family rather than being a career woman and juggling everything, almost everyone went WHAT?! they just couldnt believe that i would give up the career i have now once i get married in 2 years. what is wrong with that? everyone knows what their priorities are and what they are capable of doing. my mother juggled work, home, kids as a full time doctor and by watching her, i realized that i can never do the same. she has always been a lovely mother but i still cannot work and take care of home at the same time. i would rather have my husband provide for the family while i take the rest in my hands. he's more than happy about it, inlaws are more than supportive- its just funny that everyone ELSE has a problem with it :)
You know its so simple, women should do what they think will make them happy, and will also be for their family's betterment....whether htey think juggling family, home and career gives them fulfillment or being able to stay home is what wlil make them happy...
But there's constantly the *****ing from both sides, that women who work and have kids in daycare are such and such and women who stay at home are such and such.. its sad really.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
GOD BLESS YOU FOR SAYING THIS.
SAME IS TRUE FOR ALL MEN.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
housewife with multiple kids = hardest job in the world
the husband with the 'job' has got it easy, no matter what he does for a living. Through the decades, as the west de-industrialises mans work (real work) has becomes mans job, there's a huge difference, where as our fathers worked hard & came home tired, today the same phrase is used i.e i'm tired/exhausted etc, but in reality us guys don't know how easy we got it, we've just gotten lazy, apart from the buliding trades ect, hard work in the west doesn't really exist, time consuming, tedious yes, but not hard.
My point being that, even though the man is in the paid job, his wife at home with the kids & maybe his parents, looking after the lot EARNS the lions share of anything he can bring home.
A good housewife who keeps her household in good order & provides a peaceful home for her man to return to cannot have a price placed on the service she provides, no wage can cover it thats for sure.......
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
basicallyy the bottom line is that men dnt respect housewives in the way they shuld!
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
1- woman can't get as good as a "catch" by going to a community college most highly educated/successfull guys want a girl with it all..educated/professional but who cooks/cleans and will be agood mom too.
- no matter how successful professional/educationally a woman HAS been and STILL is considered not a success if unmarried. You can be married and a highschool eucated and it is more acceptable than 35 year old doctor who is unmarried.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
oh and with regards to housewife/motherhood. I had NO NO clue how difficult motherhood would be...how difficult housework with kids would be. There is no rest break/no planning. My daughter has a rough 3-4 nights or i go out to a late movie/dinner with my husband planning that my daughter will wake at her normal 730 am....instead she weakes 3x b/c of a tooth ache and is up ready to play at 630.
i still have to be on the next day..and i can't just take it easy have a coffee and plug along..i have to play with her and take her out to do something fun even on days i'd prefer to just sit at home.....
My husband only got this after being home for 2 weeks and seeing how much energy our toddler had....and he had me to rely on during those 2 weeks!