I am not talking about the other half which is actively seeking professional education, working and trying to become self supporting. I am talking about the girls whose mission in life is just to get married.
Their life revolves around it. University? Why bother, just go to community college for 4-5 years till a good rishta comes along. Part time job? Just get one which requires the least amount of work, just to pass time. Forget actually trying to get some marketable skills or trying to grow at a position. Rest of the time just obsess over bridal wear, jewelery and get jealous of other girls who are married.
What is their plan in life IF things don’t work out? Just move back with parents and live off of alimony payments?
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^ Are you basing this assumption off what you've seen in real life or on here?
And are u talking about girls here or in Pak? And how old are hte girls ur talking about?
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^^ above question plus .. cos maybe they are scared .. that they might get left out .. and before you know it , it maybe too late for them to marry and end up marrying some normal charlie from the streets..
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^ Are you basing this assumption off what you've seen in real life or on here?
And are u talking about girls here or in Pak? And how old are hte girls ur talking about?
Seen in real life in the US. I am talking about girls who are college age, but seems like this starts at 16 or so. I have never figured out desi parents who send rishtas to 16 year old girls. How can the guy be contempt with that, since 95% of the time guy has control over the rishta.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
There is nothing wrong with their aim to get married and then raise a family.
After all being a house wife is a full time job as well.
As far as fear of failure is concerned it is also with girls who are highly educated and career oriented.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
well i seen so many examples like this in life..and specially these teen aurtein teen kahanian/.... if somene reads them...r all abt these poor girls...well i cant say abt anyone else....but im getting married at young because my guy loved me soo much and chouldnt wait for soo many years untill i have finishd my education..as he is a professional already,.,...so we decided to finish my education afterwards!! because its always worth
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
guys can be so ungrateful!! bringing home a wife who can converse eloquently,comes from a good family,respects you and takes care of you and is educated enough to make decisions along side...and when needed....is there to take burden off your shoulders....(and most probably will work once the children are a little independent) is apparently no match for a guy who thinks he is too good for her...and is doing a favor by marrying her.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
thats necesarrily not even the case anymore.. and plus its their lifestyle as long as u have ur goals set and know U will become a better person thats ur view. the girls that want to live off of their husbands have thier own view of life. we mite think thats not a good idea. but they mite think its the best..
I know i plan to finish undergrad. Go to dental skool and still take care of my family and in laws and my fiance or husband at that time.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Seen in real life in the US. I am talking about girls who are college age, but seems like this starts at 16 or so. I have never figured out desi parents who send rishtas to 16 year old girls. How can the guy be contempt with that, since 95% of the time guy has control over the rishta.
My rishta had came wen i was 16 and my in laws celebrated my 17th birthday with me and we made our engagement official wen i was 17. i have no regrets or am not sad bcuz i am still going to skool persuing everythin i need to and my in laws expect me to be able to suport myself and help my husband but i wil still be their kaliidenalii
i thnk the only difference between me and "those" girls is that we are not maarrying until hes done with his law degree and im atleast entering dental skool
so i mean it all works out and then we will think of shaadii
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
My rishta had came wen i was 16 and my in laws celebrated my 17th birthday with me and we made our engagement official wen i was 17. i have no regrets or am not sad bcuz i am still going to skool persuing everythin i need to and my in laws expect me to be able to suport myself and help my husband but i wil still be their kaliidenalii
i thnk the only difference between me and "those" girls is that we are not maarrying until hes done with his law degree and im atleast entering dental skool
so i mean it all works out and then we will think of shaadii
The difference between u and them is that ur still expected to have a life and they realize u are a person with ur own goals and likes dislikes etc...and not just some clay to be molded into doing exactly what they want. I don't know how common your situation is, but the other situation (where families want very young girls cz they're easier to "mold") seems to be alot more common here and there. Even though it might sound weird or bad to us, if they're happy with that arrangement...who r we to say anything?
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
The difference between u and them is that ur still expected to have a life and they realize u are a person with ur own goals and likes dislikes etc...and not just some clay to be molded into doing exactly what they want. I don't know how common your situation is, but the other situation (where families want very young girls cz they're easier to "mold") seems to be alot more common here and there. Even though it might sound weird or bad to us, if they're happy with that arrangement...who r we to say anything?
wow i never thought of the mold situation but thats very truee.. i must say its very weird and sad to say that ppl expect thigns like that.
i love my in laws cuz there understanding and most of all their sensitive towards me in a way like i AM their daughter
but i bet sum ppl think i ambeing "molded"
but then again ppl talk smak regardless they mean very little to me hehehhe
good point sarah jee
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
^ ahhhh welcome to desi world. Ppl will talk crap no matter what, over everything...i doubt it will ever end, so get used to it... u know ur sitaution best, u know ur in laws better than they do, so as long as you KNOW and ur happy with the situation.. let them talk :)
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
i like surprises!! muahahaha
watever tho thats the least thing i worry about in my life
and so shud every1 else u know the ppl that basically live for making those talkers happy and satisfied and prove to them that WE"RE THE BEST
yea no they shud get a life heheh
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Sara honey --- you should really not generalize like that.
I can tell you for a fact that KD wasnt being recruited to be molded.
I take that very personally that you said that... Actually in this situation it was the families molding to the kids marzi.
And I dont see anything wrong with getting married or Rishta young if the two getting married are happy with it. Beats getting too old and having to settle for whatever rishta comes your way. Know what I mean?
As for the topic at hand --
Yes marriage is important --- but more so its important to grow as a person yourself and find your niche in life before you can be a happy part of anothers. Only to often I've seen people rush into marriages and then a year later, their still not living a proper married life -- what was the point of that?
Honestly, I feel if the only thing a girl is interested in is getting married then she's not marriage material. She won't have anything to offer as a wife and a mother later.
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
Honestly, I feel if the only thing a girl is interested in is getting married then she's not marriage material. She won't have anything to offer as a wife and a mother later.
[/QUOTE]
right! hence the insecurities later on...
also we need to remember that in order to prove ourselves..we dont need to be arrogant...there is a common misconception among men that...the more 'educated' the girl...the bigger the head..that is just sad.....
the rishta process has been mishandled to the bone by the 'aunties' if you may....if we get the middle man (read woman) out of the selection process...we may end up with better results...i am not suggesting in any way to abandon the whole scene...just objecting the whole spoon feeding the sons part.. :)
Re: Why do half the girls only have one mission in life? Get married.
yaar...i think u really misunderstood what i said...
I said that there are some families who want younger girls..for that purpose, b/c they think she'd be easy to "control"..
But I never said u guys were them, and I did in fact differentiate between you and others.
I said to kD: the difference between [her] and them [other girls] is that [shes] a person with [her] own goals and dislikes. And that her in laws [you] are not the type to want to mold her, like other families might be. Now tell me where i said that YOU guys wanted her for any other purpose??
