why do girls need constant validation?

[jeans]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@pak2015

Serious question..you girls get bombarded with compliments and attention constantly every single day from other girls, class fellows, co-workers, aunties, and even men (“i love your hair”, “i love your outfit today!”, “you look so good in that blouse!” "I love your shoes! “I love your purse” “you look really pretty today” "girl can i get your number?!).

do you girls think men get any sort of compliments on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis lol?? You really think a male friend would be like “yo dude your hair looks amazing today” even on the days I look realllllyy good..men don’t get any sort of compliments maybe once every eid ka chand but you don’t see men showing attention seeking behavior or feel the need to be validated constantly so I never understood why girls when they’re already receiving so much attention still continue to seek it out more and more..stop being so greedy

Ladies, please provide your perspective on why you think most girls feel the need to always seek out attention, be center of attention or crave validation from others. I’d love to understand this peculiar behavior better.

PS. please refrain from saying “you’re too obsessed with female behavior” like you girls do every time someone raises a question about females..I’m a single guy so obviously I’m going to be interested in learning more about female behavior, which most guys dont understand. This is your chance to do a public service for us men to teach us about your gender. I have no interest in learning about male behavior patterns becsuse I understand it already so it’s not meant to be offensive so girls please take a deep breath and exhale before and after reading my post.

Dekho…there are some default settings…once you buy the product u can customize it…
And since u r not into buying mode right now… Phr soch k kya krna…

[arabianights]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@pak2015

I do want kids that’s the main problem..i want to spread my good genes..but no girl I’ve encountered in person has been worth the effort..the pakistani girlfriends I did have i fell for their looks which was a big mistake on my part because they were very self centered, had attention seeking behavior and wanted their way and didn’t want to compromise..and girls on gupshup have reinforced for me that they were completely normal girls because that’s how most girls are these days..it’s the new norm

I think that the problem with their upbringing and not only asian girls. The issue is from my point of view is the mothers aren’t happy with their lives and we always see them complain and warn us not to make comprises like they did or we will be taken advantage of. Some girls maybe took the advice to seriously and have become stubborn as a result.

[Theorist]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

Because their worth is often measured by their looks. Just look at our rishta process. It makes me want to throw up. Girls looking for a resourceful man (read: fat wallets) and guys looking for fertile girls (read: naive, young, and pretty). By the time women realize their looks aren’t everything and it is the wrong way to measure someone’s worth, they are already in their mid thirties. BY then, they either obsess too much to get their youth back or let go of themselves. This is why it’s important to teach our girls to find the balance. BUT NOOO, those balanced chicks get called feminazis. Stupid society.

[pak2015]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@jeans

Dekho…there are some default settings…once you buy the product u can customize it…
And since u r not into buying mode right now… Phr soch k kya krna…

No no I’ve tried to customize it after purchase..realized it’s temporary and product gets overwhelmed with new settings it cant handle (although theyre very basic functionalities) so it automatically goes back to default factory settings which I don’t like…and I don’t have patience or desire to keep changing settings…better to find product that has default settings and options that I already like..that product I haven’t found on market yet

[arabianights]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@Theorist

Because their worth is often measured by their looks. Just look at our rishta process. It makes me want to throw up. Girls looking for a resourceful man (read: fat wallets) and guys looking for fertile girls (read: naive, young, and pretty). By the time women realize their looks aren’t everything and it is the wrong way to measure someone’s worth, they are already in their mid thirties. BY then, they either obsess too much to get their youth back or let go of themselves. This is why it’s important to teach our girls to find the balance. BUT NOOO, those balanced chicks get called feminazis. Stupid society.

I think your partially right and only for some people its like that but i don’t think it’s like that for the majority. I personally don’t believe men only choose on looks and women on money. I’ve also seen alot of balanced women and most of them get praised on their attitudes i think times have changed. I think it depends who you mix with as well.

[pak2015]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@Theorist

Because their worth is often measured by their looks. Just look at our rishta process. It makes me want to throw up. Girls looking for a resourceful man (read: fat wallets) and guys looking for fertile girls (read: naive, young, and pretty). By the time women realize their looks aren’t everything and it is the wrong way to measure someone’s worth, they are already in their mid thirties. BY then, they either obsess too much to get their youth back or let go of themselves. This is why it’s important to teach our girls to find the balance. BUT NOOO, those balanced chicks get called feminazis. Stupid society.

This..women have been conditioned to use their looks and appearance to their advantage, and yes as a man that is often the first thing I notice. But I’ve been with such pretty pakistani girls that appearance of a girl alone just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I actually now actively avoid good looking girls lol. I’ve experienced them and a girls appearance is so overrated becuase honestly even the most average looking girl can look good with make up, nice decent outfits and getting her hair done. I now focus on personality but girls have focused so much on their appearance and other superificial things to attract men that they have forgotten to focus on their personalities and character

As for the feminist, yes those girls too have taken it way too far and are very difficult to live with because they want their way and don’t want to compromise because they think it becomes a female rights issue if a girl has to compromise for a man lol. There needs to be a more balanced approached.

I ideally want an educated professional woman but these women tend to be a mix of the above–where they focus on attention seeking behavior AND don’t want to compromise. Worst combo ever.

[Theorist]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@pak2015

This..women have been conditioned to use their looks and appearance to their advantage, and yes as a man that is often the first thing I notice. But I’ve been with such pretty pakistani girls that appearance of a girl alone just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I actually now actively avoid good looking girls lol. I’ve experienced them and a girls appearance is so overrated becuase honestly even the most average looking girl can look good with make up, nice decent outfits and getting her hair done. I now focus on personality but girls have focused so much on their appearance and other superificial things to attract men that they have forgotten to focus on their personalities and character

**As for the feminist, yes those girls too have taken it way too far and are very difficult to live with because they want their way and don’t want to compromise because they think it becomes a female rights issue if a girl has to compromise for a man lol. There needs to be a more balanced approached.
**
I ideally want an educated professional woman but these women tend to be a mix of the above–where they focus on attention seeking behavior AND don’t want to compromise. Worst combo ever.

But I am not talking about self-proclaimed feminists. I am talking about balanced women who get called feminists for speaking up. I have never considered myself a feminist (because I don’t believe in labeling people), I would like to think I am pretty practical and balanced yet I get called a feminist here all the time. It’s annoying. Another thing is 90% of people don’t even know what feminism is. Even I didn’t up until a few weeks ago. Original feminism isn’t selfish, conceited, and deceptive. Modern day feminism is everything feminism was not meant to be.

True feminism: Equal rights for all parties, NOT JUST FOR WOMEN.

False/modern feminist: I am a woman, I expect special treatment.

[jeans]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@pak2015

No no I’ve tried to customize it after purchase..realized it’s temporary and product gets overwhelmed with new settings it cant handle (although theyre very basic functionalities) so it automatically goes back to default factory settings which I don’t like…and I don’t have patience or desire to keep changing settings…better to find product that has default settings and options that I already like..that product I haven’t found on market yet

I sympathize with you man… Seriously… No comment situation…

[htmwrites]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@geminifromkhi

Wah Wah Wah

shukria

[geminifromkhi]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

@arabianights

I think that the problem with their upbringing and not only asian girls. The issue is from my point of view is the mothers aren’t happy with their lives and we always see them complain and warn us not to make comprises like they did or we will be taken advantage of. Some girls maybe took the advice to seriously and have become stubborn as a result.

I agree with you! Girls who grew up watching their fathers or any other relatives treating their wives like trash are not willing to be treated like that too! The tables have turned maybe.

[Reha]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

You go through many and I mean MANY bad ones sometimes to get to a good one.

Keep looking.

[Reha]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

Our society is the issue.

Aurat hi aurat ki sabse bari dushman hai.

Women raise their daughters and sons with the mentality that their worth is tied to their looks and wallet.

[badabing]

Re: why do girls need constant validation?

If you are secure in yourself - you don’t need validation or attention. This is true for both men and women.