I think the #1 complaint at weddings/davats etc is that hte host refuses to serve dinner until a partciular party arrives…leading to the anger of hte guests and subsequent complaining (all behind their back of course 
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So…why do desis do this? Refuse to serve you until so and so arrives?
Have you ever been that host?
Have you ever been that guest that everyone is hungry waiting for?
and has anyone EVER complained to the host that this is really unacceptable behaviour?
Re: why do desis do this?
Whenever I attend a dinner or any other sort of function, I have never complained about waiting no matter how hungry I am. If its my sons, I always have something on hand for them to munch on.
Its really basic common courtesy to wait for all the guests to arrive before eating. If you arrive late - no matter the reason (flat tire, traffic jam, whatever) and see that everyone is eating already, what message does that send? It says that the late arrival didnt matter enough or mean enough to the others to give them a bit of time to arrive.
If I had a guest who got angry enough to complain, I'd give them a paper plate in the kitchen if its that important to them. But its very rude - their stomach is more important than their visit. And they'd not be invited back. I dont run a restaurant here.
We have been late a time or two. Usually due to unforeseen traffic or getting lost. And they waited for us which was sincerely and warmly appreciated.
I have (unfortunately) been the guest , along with my family, who the host had waited for. Needless to say, I spent the evening apologising. Being late had to do with my shoes, and then the traffic. 
Whenever I attend a dinner or any other sort of function, I have never complained about waiting no matter how hungry I am. If its my sons, I always have something on hand for them to munch on.
Its really basic common courtesy to wait for all the guests to arrive before eating. If you arrive late - no matter the reason (flat tire, traffic jam, whatever) and see that everyone is eating already, what message does that send? It says that the late arrival didnt matter enough or mean enough to the others to give them a bit of time to arrive.
If I had a guest who got angry enough to complain, I'd give them a paper plate in the kitchen if its that important to them. But its very rude - their stomach is more important than their visit. And they'd not be invited back. I dont run a restaurant here.
We have been late a time or two. Usually due to unforeseen traffic or getting lost. And they waited for us which was sincerely and warmly appreciated.
ahhhh....first time im hearing the "other'" pov. thanks for that....
Have you been to desi dawats/events? Our people are notorious for never on time. Is it fair for the other guests to be starving while 1 person is waiting? everyone else had the courtesy to be reasonably on time....
I wonder why guests never complain about this to the host, but i remember this happened a few months ago. it was just us friends, and i did feel annoyed, but i knew the girl had some personal things going on with her life, so why should I be a jerk?
Re: why do desis do this?
As a courtesy to guests who arrive on-time, I wait only 30 minutes past the published dinner time before serving. I have done it a few times and those who arrive late now always arrive on-time.
Again, I would rather extend courtesy to those who care about others time. I have zero sympathy for undisciplined folks.
Re: why do desis do this?
I think it has to do with the "extra bit of hospitality" in our culture.
What erks me is that some people will wait for "their close friends" but "not their average friends" like a hierarchy. The "guest of honor" had to be there ofcourse.
For the kids... I serve them. It hard for them to wait.
For the adults - if you have a huge party - good to have some hearty apetizers. But once 80% of my guests are in. I'll make a courtesy phone call. If they are more than 5-10 minutes away. Sorry your loss.
Re: why do desis do this?
Yep njgal, waiting for the favorite folks is a no-no for me.
I normally invite them with "please be here no later than 7 pm (you are welcome to come early) and dinner will be served at 8:15 ". I will serve dinner by no later than 8:45 PM.
Re: why do desis do this?
We'll complain if you wait AND if you don't. Better do what you'd like to.
:P
Re: why do desis do this?
Funguy why aren't ya a mod anymore?
yeah my mom is like that.. she will wait for all the guests (even for her own daughters) and will keep everyone hungry… i hate that… we (me n my sister) told her 100’s of times not to wait for us because we will be late for so or so reason/s but she doesnt listen… baat wohi aa jati hai “main tumhari maaN hon, mujhay ziada pata hai kay kya kerna hai aur kya nahi”
desis tend to go late on the dawats /parties etc. .. most of the time is Not the genuine reason behind being late… aadat say majboor…
i personally never took an offence if host didnt wait for us… hey if i m late I M Late… whether its the genuine reason or not, its My problem..not anybody’s else… so y should they wait? ..
thanks god we dont do that at our house, i mean at my inlaws… we know that some families will be late no matter what… so we serve the food on time..
Funguy why aren't ya a mod anymore?
I was 31 minutes late and you know Niksik. :(
Re: why do desis do this?
Re: why do desis do this?
We dont believe in punishing the people who are on time. It should be other way round and people who are late should take it.
With every invitation, we tell people the "arrival" time and "food serving" time. They are welcome to come late if they have some thing going on but we normally stick to the schedule.
Re: why do desis do this?
Ummmm its just food, so its not a big deal
Besides, ppl usually put out appetizers YUMMMMMYYY
I have not been that host that does that but that party that was late for sure and trust me you get some evil cut eyes when you enter some times. There was one time when my parents tried to hook me up with this girl and the rishta was almost thru (until her parents found out about my past and my track record with girls :D) I reached this dawat around 45 mins late and trust me there were a few uncles of that girl looked at me and were not at all impressed and then i got yelled at by my dad as well khair that was embarassing.
I agree with the opinion of MO3 and like wut she does... its the right way of handling it..
Its really not a big deal unless someone is about to expire due to hunger.. :)
Yes desis are habitual to come late but not a biggie if others can wait a lil more
Re: why do desis do this?
This reminds me of my wedding: the baraat was leaving on time but my abbu had to tell them to be a bit late since none of our guests were there, not even family. I was also ready half an hour before the reception time. I mean, have you ever heard of dulha dulhan being on time but not the guests?
Anyhow, where we live, people are usually on time so we havent had to deal with such an issue. But if someone had the habit of being late for no reason, i wouldnt wait for them. Why punish others who did come on time.
We usually wait until all of the guests arrive, like mo3 said it gives a bad impression to the people who arrived late and puts them in a weird situation
however when most people do arrive, we call the people who haven't and ask politely why they haven't arrived and whats the hold up..thankfully people who know that they are going to arrive extra late usually call us and tell us to serve dinner
and going to a party does not mean that you starve yourself, kids are a whole different story and usually when the late people walk in they get glares from the parents who have been trying to keep a hold of there kids (we do offer the kids food when we notice that they are hungry)
Re: why do desis do this?
TRUST ME its not a desi thing....white people do it it too.