Will you marry a guy who tells you has a past?
everyone has a past, so...definitely, even if he doesn't tell me anything abt his past, & if still i think, that he loves me a lot, i WILL marry him, i dont care, whtever his past was, cs i m pretty sure, if i wud be in his past, he would hv never made such a mistake, i wud b his past, present & future...
....n still if he tells me his past, which maybe the worst one, i will accept him, for he loves me... BUT IF.......he loves me, just THEN.
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
I dont think guys would lie about it if asked directly. However, I don't think they will volunteer the information.
IMO why bring up the past unless you are being asked about it and it has a direct affect on your current relationship. Like the saying goes "some things are better left unsaid".
Also....our culture makes it difficult for us to talk about past relationships. Dating is looked down upon. If you are planning on having an arranged marriage....you might as well forget about it if the word gets around that you have played the field.
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
isliye kyunke joth bolna lakeoo ke adat nahi fitrat hai
^ lol..
isliye kyunke joth bolna lakeoo ke adat nahi fitrat hai
huh, not all jhoot bolna is fitrat, some of it is self preservation..
jhoot is many times critical at questions like
"do you think she is pretty"
"does my ass look big in these"
"do you like so- and so, i think she is a little fake"
etc.
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
See, I wouldnt have a problem with a guy having a past IF he was completely DONE with it. Meaning, it is not trailing him, he is not pining over her, she is not calling him, no emails, no phone calls, etc. Emotionally, he has to be past it so there can be a fresh start.
But some people (this goes for guys and girls) will break up with a boyfriend/girlfriend and jump into marriage, Ive seen it myself. That is when people start to lie because they arent over the past to be able to talk about it openly with a prospective/future spouse. They are hesitant, ashamed, afraid of being judged (women dont want to be looked at as impure), still in pain and the list goes on.
Dont jump into marriage until you are over your past and can be honest about it.
huh, not all jhoot bolna is fitrat, some of it is self preservation.. jhoot is many times critical at questions like
"do you think she is pretty" "does my ass look big in these" "do you like so- and so, i think she is a little fake"
etc.
I highly encourage lying at all of the above mentioned occasions...this is more of a life or death situation under which lying is permissible.
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
P2 is right,
in my view past does two things, it shows a person's judgement
1) so what was it that the person did..very important
i mean if some chica was trying to find someone, and met ppl, got involved and it did not work out to me that is a diff thing than someone who is promiscous
2) and how recent was it, if someone was sleeping arounf until last week and is now all over it, well..it remains to be seen
3) when did this take place- so if it was dodgy stuff and it was when someone was 19-20, thats diff then if it took place when someone is 27-28.
in the end, aside from comfort leel with that, it comes down to, would having a past mean they will also have a 'present' and a 'future' because that is more important.
I highly encourage lying at all of the above mentioned occasions...this is more of a life or death situation under which lying is permissible.
I agree, as I said, self preservation :D
I highly encourage lying at all of the above mentioned occasions...this is more of a life or death situation under which lying is permissible.
LOL. I second that!
huh, not all jhoot bolna is fitrat, some of it is self preservation.. jhoot is many times critical at questions like
"do you think she is pretty" "does my ass look big in these" "do you like so- and so, i think she is a little fake"
etc.
But surely if your married to someone, she is your 'the one' she isyour world, she is your everything, someone you love the most, someone you truly find the prettiest, the most beautifulest person in the whole world, someone who you'd be in love with forever, someone who you'll be with in jannah...
so, how cud such a person look or even think about anyone else????????
A few days ago I commented on someones facbook note, and here's what my conception of marriage is, hence where wud the lying be:
[quote]
Marriage in Islam in the sacred relationship that allows two previously somewhat unrelated individuals to enjoy the company of one another....
I think that love is essential in marriage, marriage is not just a partnership, a business deal, an agreement where there is a division of labour and so on. It is about finding someone with whom you can share your dreams, with whom you can open your heart to, with whom you can develop a bond that is unlike anything else in the world...your spouse becoming your bestest of friends, your spouse becoming your closest of companions....it’s about having a relationship with someone who knows your deepest darkest feelings, your weightiest weaknesses and still they accept you, still they love you, still they pray for you. [think about how Khadija(ra) comforted our Nabi(saw) in his most doubtful time]
It’s about finding perfection in an imperfect world, having someone who makes you feel wonderful, makes you feel loved, makes you feel cherished, someone who treasures you more than anyone else in the world. Someone who you know prays for you, someone who you know will put you first, someone who you know will try their utmost to make you the happiest person in the world with everything they have.
*Some may think this is a bit over-romanticised, but I don’t think it is…as long as the individuals realise that the most love must be for Allah swt and our Nabi (saw)…… Of course your point about the attainment of Jannah through this is true....it is through this wonderful relationship that both the spouses will get closer to Allah swt working together, working and helping one another and invigorating each other through mutual cooperation and mistakes. *
[/quote]
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
You're not married, are you brother?
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
"Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???"
Batao to bhi maRo, na batao to bhi maRo.
JaaiN to Kidhar JaaiN? ask the boys.
When u make sumone the center of u're world..and claim to love her why bother digging into her/his past? As long as his past isn't the present as well..let it be!
You're not married, are you brother?
clearly, but, thats irrelevant, not an issue and a minor discrepoancy that sud not influence the discussion in any way
LOL
When u make sumone the center of u're world..and claim to love her why bother digging into her/his past? As long as his past isn't the present as well..let it be!
seconded
*muslims need to have a goldfish mem. *
give 70 excuses and forget the past...
aslong as both ppl love each other, past is past
(and no i'm not saying to justify things, i've never, by allahs grace had a dodgy relationship)
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
^ Happy to hear that, Innerawareness. I am sure you'll make a very good spouse one day. :)
Re: Why do boys lie about having had girlfriends???
I know Gina, what with Goldfish?