I found someone on a matrimonial site & we got to know each other for few months. Throughout this time he acted very nice & behaved as if he was the best person on this earth. He would confess his love to me again & again, and assured me that he would never leave my side no matter what and blah blah blah.. So, finally when it came to talk about marriage to parents, he created a big fight & broke up with me & vanished in such a way that there was no way i could reach him. All his numbers were switched off. The number which he had given me saying as his home number, when i tried that, i learnt even that was a wrong number, actually it was some shop number! I hate him now. Why did he have to play with my feelings like this? 
Why do some men do this? May Allah punish him for this!
Re: Why did he do this?
look at positive aspect of your situation that you learned a lesson that never proceed rishta through matrimonial sites. 
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Probably went for the other fish who took his bait?
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Look at the positive side , you did not end up with a jerk. What if he married you and you found out that he had 3 more wives already ?
Re: Why did he do this? :(
I've seen a few people do this, mostly its married men or people involved in a relationship, many of them roam matrimonial sites to use women. I'm really sorry to hear that it happened to you. Men do this because they get bored of their current partner (this is what happens when you watch to much stupid media) and want more excitement and a fresh relationship without repairing their damaged relationship. The guy who did this is a colossal ass and I would remember his name in-case he is married and tell his wife about his actions. It's hard to get involved in another relationship after something like this happens, but remember there are many good men out their who don't do this.
Again really sorry to hear what happened to you :( , I'll pray for you.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
What made him stick around even for a few months? But if I were you, be happy you dodged a bullet because imagine if you had to live your whole life with some shady man who isn't reliable to say the least.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Look at the bright side... you didnt marry him and ruin your life... Inshallah you will be blessed with the best, and you dont need to give him ill duas, Allah sees all and knows what we do not know... May Allah bless you with sabr ameen... best thing is to pray 2 raka namaz and thank Allah for saving you form such rubbish
Re: Why did he do this? :(
you got emotionally used lady........... happens on teh internetz...
Re: Why did he do this? :(
The internet marriage websites are FILLED with cons. FILLED. They tell you all kinds of BS. The only thing you can do is ... if it even gets to like one or two conversations on the telephone is tell them that if they're serious, the matter can move forward, otherwise, no talky shalky on the phone... and you'll see they all disappear the minute you mention your dad and bring up the idea that the punk should go talk to your dad.
They're not serious. It's really really sad, how muslims are behaving out there, but there's a lot of manipulation online.
I made the mistake of talking some punk divorcee two nights ago, and he starts giving me a lecture about Islam like I'm a two year old. Hung up on his sorry behind so fast.
With these guys online, you need a super low threshold. SUPER LOW threshold to kick them out the first chance you get. If they're serious about you, they'll be a dheet and hang around.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
I've seen a few people do this, mostly its married men or people involved in a relationship, many of them roam matrimonial sites to use women. I'm really sorry to hear that it happened to you. Men do this because they get bored of their current partner (this is what happens when you watch to much stupid media) and want more excitement and a fresh relationship without repairing their damaged relationship. The guy who did this is a colossal ass and I would remember his name in-case he is married and tell his wife about his actions. It's hard to get involved in another relationship after something like this happens, but remember there are many good men out their who don't do this.
Again really sorry to hear what happened to you :( , I'll pray for you.
This is very, very, very true.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
There usually is a way on these websites to report abuse...you might want to report that user as a fraud. Doesn't mean much though, because he'll come right back.
Some of these websites I noticed , the girls have formed a watch group and can post when a dude is being a donkey. That helps too because you know who to avoid.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
So, finally when it came to talk about marriage to parents, he created a big fight & broke up with me & vanished in such a way that there was no way i could reach him. All his numbers were switched off. :(
Just because someone says that they love you doesn't necessarily mean that they're ready for marriage around the same time as you.
And how did the marriage talk come about? Did YOU bring it up yourself or did he initiate it? I'm guessing that if he went poof after that...then it was you who brought it up. Let the guy initiate the marriage talk.
Actions speak louder than words...no matter how sweet they may seem. Pay attention to his actions more than the words. It hurts, but you will move on from it. You can't have a relationship let alone a marriage with someone who can't communicate maturely and disappears on you. As for "why" he behaved in this way...who knows? Our guess is as good as yours and there's no guarantee that he'll tell you or even that he'll be honest about it. Your mind is probably going in circles trying to figure him about, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter because he lied to you and he was disrespectful...so he's not worth your time. Chalk it up to a learning experience and keep yourself busy with positive activities and tread carefully next time. Don't wait around to hear from him, don't live in the past, don't hope that he'll change his mind and come back to you, don't contact him. Focus on the present and yourself. What goes around eventually comes around.
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Re: Why did he do this? :(
This vanishing act seems to be a common occurance among desi assholes. I've been in the same boat, sister, so all I can say is pray 2 rakat nafl. Be patient and just trust that you were saved from something worse. Imagine having to deal with someone that responds to things they don't like by vanishing/giving you a cold shoulder? Moreover, chances are this guy was hiding something / using you / a wuss for disappearing without giving you any sort of explanation or excuse. Best of luck. iA you'll find someone amazing!
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Purple, chanda, I hope you are doing okay? Well, if you are not then this will make you okay. Consolation/Tasali tou sub dete hain, suchi, karwi, jo baat karne wali hoti hai wo koe nahi karta...
Lets admit it, **you **messed up. Who told you to go to matrimonial website to look for a hubby or even a life partner? Where are your parents? Is there no Desi community where you live? How many people did you talk to before talking to this loser? Why did you "fall in love" without properly vetting the guy? Who mentioned the "shaadi" word? Him or you?
Which matrimonial website was it? Don't post the link, just name it.
Just like the "one desi makes plaza others desis follow with same crap" today we have same issue in other areas, there use to be one matrimonial website and now there are hundreds. Oh BHai KITNI matrimonial websites banao ghay? Offering same thing that other 100% of the websites are, what makes you so special? No thought is given to that part of the equation. Same goes for the desi forums... total infestation, nothing special. 99% of those are just "social" networking websites with matrimonial touch. I would advise everyone to stay away from ALL matrimonial websites, they are nothing but frauds.
You are lucky, you learned the lesson quickly, many aren't so lucky and after years and years of solid relationship (at least according to you), the other person develops sense of mistrust overnight and whole thing falls apart. Which hurts and shatters you even more... So, hang in there, plenty of fish out there.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
really sorry to hear that it happened to you. Dont let it effect your or change ur perspective about men. And its a shame cuz the assclowns ruin it for the genuine ones aswell. Wish you all the best - just keep in mind that pricks like this guy are in a minority
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Yup . . . I 2nd this . There is no excuse for stupidity . Best lessons are always learn hard way .
Purple, chanda, I hope you are doing okay? Well, if you are not then this will make you okay. Consolation/Tasali tou sub dete hain, suchi, karwi, jo baat karne wali hoti hai wo koe nahi karta...
Lets admit it, **you **messed up. Who told you to go to matrimonial website to look for a hubby or even a life partner? Where are your parents? Is there no Desi community where you live? How many people did you talk to before talking to this loser? Why did you "fall in love" without properly vetting the guy? Who mentioned the "shaadi" word? Him or you?
Which matrimonial website was it? Don't post the link, just name it.
Just like the "one desi makes plaza others desis follow with same crap" today we have same issue in other areas, there use to be one matrimonial website and now there are hundreds. Oh BHai KITNI matrimonial websites banao ghay? Offering same thing that other 100% of the websites are, what makes you so special? No thought is given to that part of the equation. Same goes for the desi forums... total infestation, nothing special. 99% of those are just "social" networking websites with matrimonial touch. I would advise everyone to stay away from ALL matrimonial websites, they are nothing but frauds.
You are lucky, you learned the lesson quickly, many aren't so lucky and after years and years of solid relationship (at least according to you), the other person develops sense of mistrust overnight and whole thing falls apart. Which hurts and shatters you even more... So, hang in there, plenty of fish out there.
Re: Why did he do this?
Purple, hope this makes you feel better… cigarette lagao aur mast ho jao, jhoom ke eik dafa phir darusst ho jao.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
Pretty weird, you know from my point of view. You shouldn't have gone on a matrimonial site in the first place and talked to a dude. And after all of that happening, saying 'May God punish him' is stupid. It's kinda like karma, I think. You committed a wrong by talking to a stranger online and sharing everything and he left you because he's a scumbag.
Re: Why did he do this? :(
I'm sorry you're hurting; it seems to me like the guy was probably married and simply having his chaskay with you. I know it's painful and you'll be sad to think of him being someone other than what he showed you, but everything happens for a reason. My advice is to save yourself from future heartbreak and get off these matrimonial sites. I hate to say it, but the reason so many of them are on those sites to begin with is because there's something wrong with them and people in the real world wouldn't give them the time of day.
InshAllah you'll find someone who is the best for you.... have faith in Allah and the plans He has for you. All the best.