Why did he do this? (A question for men)

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Re: Why did he do this? (A question for men)

@redvelvet

Because for SOME guys…it is easier to just disappear than to be direct with the girlfriend and deal with her possible arguing, crying, guilt-tripping, etc. I’m not trying to justify what he did. It would have been more courteous of him to be honest with you.

But here’s something to think about. Let’s say that he HAD been direct with you and told you that he doesn’t want to marry you anymore. Would you have easily accepted the situation and moved on? Or would you get angry and plague him and yourself with a 100 more questions…“Mujh main kya kami thi?” “I went through all this trouble to get my dad to agree and now you don’t want me…why?” …“Is there someone else?” …“Why would you even bother with proposing if you didn’t want to be with me?” …“How can you change my mind so quickly?” …“How can you move on so fast?”

^I might be wrong…you might have felt better if he had been direct with you. But even if a guy is direct with you…you may still not accept his decision. That said…if you’re looking for closure…then understand that closure comes mainly from YOU…not from him. It comes from YOUR mental acceptance of a situation and YOUR will power/firm decision to persist in moving on with your life. I don’t mean to sound preachy, but it’s Ramzan and it’ll fly by quickly and won’t come again until the following year. Duas are more likely to be accepted during this month, so why not use this brief time to ask Allah for help. It might give you some peace.

Yes, I would have bombarded him with questions but I believe talking directly would have been far better than running away like this. If he had been direct, i would have known that, the things are over & i need to move on. Him ignoring me like this had kind of make me hang on in between, as i wasn’t sure whether he was busy with work, or any other possible trouble with him or if i would get to hear from him again. If he had decided to break up, there might be reasons for it, & i would definitely deserve to know as of why. If he had been direct, then also it would have hurt me just like it did by him ignoring me but at least things would have been clear to me & i wouldn’t have tortured myself with thoughts like what happened, what was the reason, etc!

So, at the end, him ignoring me like this just proved that it was his way of break up & he was perhaps just a player & vanished when it was time to involve parents.