that's what the OP is saying that it's not smart at all. It causes major resentment later on in life if you don't get that freedom after you are married.
They are doing their role in stopping us from what they think is bad for us by luring us into the sweet khowabs of married life. Its their smartness :p
Anyways, they are our parents. Their methods and ways may be wrong. But they would never think anything bad for us. Our generation is very well aware and we all know married life is not always what we expect it to be. So we can keep our expectations low. Its more on us to have realistic expectations from our married life.
Do you still wish to do that? Do you agree or disagree with them now.
I think they were right because I was young and immature then but I never believed that it's indecent, now I'm mature enough to do this job but I have other responsibilities and greater ambitions/visions.
They are doing their role in stopping us from what they think is bad for us by luring us into the sweet khowabs of married life. Its their smartness :p
Anyways, they are our parents. Their methods and ways may be wrong. But they would never think anything bad for us. Our generation is very well aware and we all know married life is not always what we expect it to be. So we can keep our expectations low. Its more on us to have realistic expectations from our married life.
The problem is that their definition of bad changes when it comes to their daughters vs. their sons. So it's not the expectations that need to change, but the hypocrisy.
The problem is that their definition of bad changes when it comes to their daughters vs. their sons. So it's not the expectations that need to change, but the hypocrisy.
May be they are right in doing so. Girls need more protection because they are more prone to bad experiences than guys our society in. Our parents are more protective towards us and we should be thankful for that. I have seen girls going out of control when they do not have good attention from their parents.
May be they are right in doing so. Girls need more protection because they are more prone to bad experiences than guys our society in. Our parents are more protective towards us and we should be thankful for that. I have seen girls going out of control when they do not have good attention from their parents.
What is out of control?
Are the brothers of these girls going out of control and giving others bad experiences?
Are the brothers of these girls going out of control and giving others bad experiences?
Anything which is beyond the acceptance level of that particular family is considered out of control. Smoking may not be something which is considered out of control in one family but in other family, it can be considered out of control. Yes guys can also get out of control but this does not disturb parents as much as daughters getting out of control bothers them because it affects their izzat. Its obvious fact that our brothers are given more freedom and we girls are brought up in a much controlled environment and parents keep us happy by saying you will have more freedom when you are married.
But we are more aware now and thus we are very much able to keep our expectations low.
Yes, desi parents should stop making their daughters' expectations about future married life very high.
I have seen girls going out of control when they have parents that deprive them socially and educationally.
Yeah these can also be the reasons. But here we are discussing parental control over their daughters and making them think that they can have all the freedom after their marriage.
I disagree and will rest it at that. There is no way my son is getting anymore freedom than my daughter is. What we need to do with the awareness is to make a change, not condone it by lowering our expectations.
And thank god for my parents. I've always had more freedom than my siblings. It was never a consequence of gender (which is out of my control) but of responsibility (which is fully within my means).
I disagree and will rest it at that. There is no way my son is getting anymore freedom than my daughter is. What we need to do with the awareness is to make a change, not condone it by lowering our expectations.
And thank god for my parents. I've always had more freedom than my siblings. It was never a consequence of gender (which is out of my control) but of responsibility (which is fully within my means).
You are lucky. But we are talking about the majority cases in our desi society. Its wrong but the practice exist. Hope the next generation can bring a good change.
You are lucky. But we are talking about the majority cases in our desi society. Its wrong but the practice exist. Hope the next generation can bring a good change.
Yes, I'm talking about the majority too. It exists. It's wrong. Now we're on the same page about a good change.
But we are talking about smaller kind of control, like not allowing to wear particular kind of dresses etc
Anyways, it depends on your experiences and observation but a middle course is always the best. Not too much restriction and not too much freedom. Just a good mix of both.
It especially sucks when you're the eldest. I didn't get to go on any foreign school trips or holiday's with friends. My parents only chilled out when I started working and had to travel. My brother on the other hand has done quite a lot of travelling. My parents did freak out a bit because of some of the places he was going but it's not like they stopped him. And my sister, well she has me to take her places. sdjasdakdkad.
They never said 'you can do xyz when you're married' but yah, you do expect that when you're married = free, and you will be able to do it all. Then you find out you don't have monies or you need to save them for a house or whatever. BLAH.
