You have to show him how to respect you, be more strict. DO NOT SHAKE HANDS. Completely ignore him. Also if you can change your cafe or something.
Yes i wanna to but but how?? He's putting his hand forward, and how???? do i just back out!
I mean as a muslim guy he needs to understand, i get it if a gora acts like this, but what the hell is his problem.
You are soo right but its sick how i can't go some where i have been going for the past 6 months because of a jerk.
what disturbs me is how easily you are convinced that such scenarios are your fault.
and sure, it is a conflict and you can't resolve it without stepping outside your comfort zone. welcome to adulthood. this is only the start of many many things to come.
then it si a set up. she wants to make you her bhabi. it is so obvious.
if you really dont like him . this is what you showul do. follow this video check out what hse does at the end.
then i think he will get hte message:)
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
whether your friend is conservative or not - if she is your friend she should understand how it's making you feel and she should be putting her foot down with her brother and telling him to back off.
not that you shouldn't or can't but you may offend her if you do. being your friend and him being her brother, it should really be her. if it were my friend, i'd be pretty pissed if she was acting like it's cute if i'm obviously looking annoyed.
Truth hurts. You have to tell him and highlight the boundaries. Explain to him how you feel comfortable around na mehrams and yes, he is also included in this category.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable, why suffer in silence?
yea if you think you have confidence to share this all here and abilities to think you should be brave and tell him straight up just you are using so much f f same language. or nicely or what ever is best.
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
lol i love the knee actions^
and that truly is perfect!
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Gaia why don't you start liking him and marry him, everyone will be happy this way :D
On a serious note, some muslim guys are no better than the goras these days. If you do not want him to do what he is doing then you are the one who will have to put your foot down and do something about it. Some third person is not going to come in and help you out.
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Tell him that you have joined a fundamentalist group and from now onwards you will neither look at him, or talk to him, or shake his hand, or be fed ice-cream by him.
Yes I this boy is interested in you, so if you do not want his further attentions, then tell him straight that u do not feel this is right by you. Its not diff to do, just say you been thinking about it and now u want to tell him.
Otherwise prepare for your marriage to this lad, perhaps he might b ok for u afterall.
whether your friend is conservative or not - if she is your friend she should understand how it's making you feel and she should be putting her foot down with her brother and telling him to back off. not that you shouldn't or can't but you may offend her if you do. being your friend and him being her brother, it should really be her. if it were my friend, i'd be pretty pissed if she was acting like it's cute if i'm obviously looking annoyed.
yess i was mad, i mean come on! But people like that are not your true freinds! But i think i'll say it too him, because she might never understand the seriousness of it. I'm gonna go study there tonight, and if he's there, the hand shake will be coming on, i'll just be rude and move on!
why do we girls have to deal with such stupid drama!
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Oh BTW, did I forget to mention, finish off your speech by giving him a slap and saying "You Rascal!"
Gaia why don't you start liking him and marry him, everyone will be happy this way :D
On a serious note, some muslim guys are no better than the goras these days. If you do not want him to do what he is doing then you are the one who will have to put your foot down and do something about it. Some third person is not going to come in and help you out.
I'm taken but even if i wasn't i would kill myself before marrying someone who is so disrespectful towards girls, but girls he is single, go on ahead for grabs!:)
No i take it back i would never want GS girls to end up with him!
Tell him that you have joined a fundamentalist group and from now onwards you will neither look at him, or talk to him, or shake his hand, or be fed ice-cream by him.
Yes I this boy is interested in you, so if you do not want his further attentions, then tell him straight that u do not feel this is right by you. Its not diff to do, just say you been thinking about it and now u want to tell him.
Otherwise prepare for your marriage to this lad, perhaps he might b ok for u afterall.
i will tonight!
Oh BTW, did I forget to mention, finish off your speech by giving him a slap and saying "You Rascal!"
if only!
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Since you brought Islam in it even though it wasn't needed, how about staying home for studies ?
Being Hijabi, Why do you have a need to stay out till mid-night?
No offense, but don't you think you like this attention and that's why you are there ?
RC
Since you brought Islam in it even though it wasn't needed, how about staying home for studies ?
Being Hijabi, Why do you have a need to stay out till mid-night?
No offense, but don't you think you like this attention and that's why you are there ?
RC
Okay i'm sorry but i truly think that was not needed! I can let you go on your first two sentences! But the last one, from where did you exactly find that in my post...OOH WAIT...NO..... YOU ASSUMED IT!!!
And as for the first part it was my parents idea, in the first place! Oh and lets not forget i go to a cafe not a party where no one talks, its just a like a library but its 5mins from my apt! Ya its shady for me to be eating out, hanging out with friends "outside" at midnight, but not when i'm studying!!
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
I would do the complete opposite of what everyone else has suggested. Watch him run!
I love the fact that you ' always keep this mean/serious expression on my face so no one approaches me'. Love it!
I always keep this mean/serious expression on my face so no one approaches me but my gf's but it so does not work!!I have given him the cold shoulder NEVER WORKS, and i never ever approach him, he's the one who always come up to me and starts talking(FREAK SHOW!!!)
i do need to become a total kut*i!
i'll just be rude and move on!
You dont have to act mean or rude, or as I was once told, one does not have to be an ass to be assertive.
All you have to do is just tell him, politely, in a friendly manner, that this goes against your style and you would appreciate if he respects your boundaries. be firm, be concise, and be nice.
next time he does it, if he does, remind him of your previous request.
beyond that you can totally tell him off, again in a firm manner not a rude manner. dff things.
one does not have to stop being what one is to deal with others.
Being Hijabi, Why do you have a need to stay out till mid-night?
its pretty normal to study outside till 2.am. labs, libraries cafes which are on campus are open for group studies, meetings and bla bla.
and a month before semester ends, labs and libraries are open 24/7.
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Gaia, being a fellow Hijaban myself, I feel your pain. I think you should stop going to the Cafe for a few days...and then return to your routine. When you do return he'll probably ask you why you didn't show-up for a few days and at that point, you give him a cold look and a brief excuse. I think he'll get the message.
And also, if he has the guts to feed you, a hijaban, ice cream, then honey you are defnitely NOT being assertive with him. May be you are just tooo nice. It's time to put your foot down.
Re: Why can't some people just back off?
Stop going to that cafe or simply say you find his advances uncomfortable.
Problem khatam.