This is what happens in a systemized society. People have their own perceptions of what a mother can and cannot do. Then around these perceptions you have academic scholars who research to affirm and support that ideology. Afterwards it becomes a norm in society.
Then when you have someone break that norm, people become defensive and justify their 'norm' by trash talking about that person.
Ive seen single mothers at a much younger age than this lady raise an army of kids 10-13 all by themselves back in Pakistan. It is quite common in rural areas.
There was also a case of a grandmother who wanted custody of her granddaughter after the mother passed away, yet the court ruled that she must be given to a foster home because the grandmother (age 60) was not capable of raising children. The grandmother fought for a long time, stating she was fully capable to raise her own blood, but the courts ruled otherwise. If she ever raised lawsuits against the government in the future, they threaten to take away her visiting rights which was once a week. Thats cruel, and so is the world towards this woman.
Its kind of impossible for the whole situation to be ignored because there are too many really controversial issues involved here.
First and foremost is the fertility doc who implanted so many fetuses. Its unethical and dangerous to do this. And once you have a pregnancy with more than 3, the risk to both babies and mother is life-threatening. Most docs recommend "selective abortion" which is a horrible decision to have to make. So if the mother is against abortion, she faces the possiblity of death, not only for herself but for her babies.
Next is the woman herself. She is supposedly a mental health professional but has been living on government disability for close to 10 years. So taxpayers are supporting her and her family. Many are horrified that she will continue to support her family of 14 children at the expense of taxpayers. Whether she returns to work or not, whether she has an income or not, these 14 children still need care. That will take a staff of people to accomplish. No matter how great a mother she is, it just isnt possible to change the diapers and get the feedings of 8 newborns in...and still manage to care for 6 other children under the age of 7. How can one accomplish this without a source of income?
She has apparently decided to capitalize on her situation and turn her family into a publicity circus type of freak show.
IDK...somehow I cannot condemn this woman. But I understand the public outrage over the whole thing.
^ Because for some stupid reason, people think they need to justify the 'norm' they adhere to.
When did humans decide whats wrong and whats right?
People have no problems with paying tax payer money to fund democrat retreats and bailouts, but when it comes to supporting a family they are outraged?
Taxpayer money should be used to help mothers who want to have babies, what else is a society for?
If you look back at the initial reports on the case, it really was a happy celebration. Diaper comanies, formula companies, baby-product companies were all lining up to help out and become part of the Octuplet saga....It turned ugly only when the details started coming out - about fertility docs implanting such a ridiculous number of fetuses...about mother not having a husband or an income, about her living on government funds.
It surely is not the cultural norm to have that many kids these days...because its just about impossible to have 14 of them when marriage takes place in later years and there just arent many "multiple births" - I mean there is only one other living set of octuplets (well, one of them died if I remember correctly). Anyway, no one is complaining about the size of her family yeah? The complaints are that she has taken the term "welfare mom" to a completely new level. And that fertility docs need some firmer rules put in place to prevent this type of thing from happening.
Another aspect of this whole thing...is that the mother is using her story in the hopes of generating lots of money. GOOD for her! But then again...her family will become a public spectacle, a freak show. I'd not want to present my family to the world in that manner.
Looks like she’s on a campaign right now trying to materialize things as much as possible before the topic gets too old.
And the reason why she’s in the spotlight right now is only because people think that she is hurting the ethics of motherhood. Plus if its true that her husband is threatening not to accept the new babies, just imagine what may happen to them.
And imagine if only 1% of the women in US start following her foot-steps… wierd, isnt it?
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Taxpayer money should be used to help mothers who want to have babies, what else is a society for?[/quote]
If people regularly had 14 children you would quickly bankrupt the system. This goes beyond breaking the norms of society, this women has a mental problem, she has an "obsession with children". Obsessions are not healthy. She now expects to have a TV show so she can afford to raise the children, I find her behavior to be disturbing and very selfish.
Taxpayer money should be used to help mothers who want to have babies, what else is a society for?
yes, and we should be able to differentiate between use, and abuse.
secondly, in having that many embroys planted, she had put the life and wellbeing of each of them in danger.
the danger to an unborn child does not double when there are twins, it increases at a massive rate for each additional child, and not just in terms of viability till birth but of birth defects.
It seems like in her case it worked out, but teh dangers of something like this have to be made known more openly. Its not just a criticism of her, but criticism of the choices made and the enablers there and instead of glorifying it, noting that it has massive risks and is basically an irresponsible act.
had someone dome something else that was ridiculous, like some major plastic surgery gone bad..anyone know that cat lady?...one has to point out the issues there
look, i've personally seen how hard it is to raise just 2 kids. how is she going to manage 8 newborns on her own? and on top of it, she will have 6 other children to raise...starting from the age of 7. no matter what you say, thing here and back home are drastically different. it takes a village to raise a single child, and here, the woman's mother is unable to take care of her 6 other children, and is ready to quit once she leaves home. (mom said she has had enough. as soon as the woman comes back from the hospital, she is going back to her own home). back in pakistan, in rural areas, the kids will be running around nangay patangay, but the whole village will be around to keep an eye on them. what is she going to do here when she is exasperated?? if they find even one of her kids in that condition, don't you think they are going to take ALL of them away?
you can't compare oranges with apples. it's crazy that she has that many kids, without any support. sure she can take care of the kids, that's what she says, but on whose money? the tax payers. and on top of it, she has no support. the neighbours are standing outside her door with banners saying no more kids. do you really think they are going to support her? i doubt it. the kids psychological evaluation will need to be done to test how well adjusted they are down the road living in such conditions.
according to her she is not collecting any welfare.
she wants to have kids....so be it! we can spend loads of money on an unjust war yet we have issues about supporting a single mother who wants to have kids?
it's not like she is a druggie prostitute wanting to have children...this is an educated woman (pursuing her masters)...an only child who wants to give her kids something she was not given.....a family.
who are we to tell someone how many kids one can have? as long as she is not neglecting their needs then I see nothing wrong with it.
besides I much rather spend my hardworking dollars on a woman like her and others in her situation rather then on some stupid war!
she isn't getting her MA anymore. she was in the process when she got pregnant with the octuplets.
look, she was risking her life, and the lives of the children from the moment the embryos were implanted within her. that's being selfish. i think everyone will agree that when you think of a mother, you do not think of her being selfish. she was offered to have some of the embryos, and eventually some of the fetuses aborted, but she opted not to. it's a miracle any of her children survived. and so what will happen now? she has 1 minivan. where is she going to get money to buy an extra car? she has a nanny for now. how long do you really think she will stick around?
the single mothers who are in that situation are usually not there because of their own choice. circumstance put them there. there are also those mothers who put their careers firsthand, and now are single mothers. they can suppor their child (not children...they usually don't go beyond 1 child) she is no angelina jolie where she can have as many kids as she wants and have money and support to raise them. she is just being selfish because she wanted kids. end of story.
who are we to tell someone how many kids one can have? as long as she is not neglecting their needs then I see nothing wrong with it.
By nature humans are not meant to have litters like a cat or dog does. Maybe that's because children require more care and attention than a cat or dog. It sounds like she was lonely as a child and now is using children to fill that void, she should gone to a better shrink to work out those issues.
AE, you're right, she is not on welfare...she is on disability. (Which still comes out of the taxpayers pocket) She was injured at work so collects her disability payments and has more kids. The injury to her back has prevented her from earning a living...I wonder how one so injured can care for 14 kids. She divorced her husband last year, the babies are not his (apparently) but he supposedly lives with her when he is not doing contract work in Iraq. As a single mother, she is eligible for more aid. Her whole story is pretty darn fishy.
Why doesnt everyone leave her alone? Simple...she hired a publicist and is seeking out every opportunity to sell her story and turn her family into a freak show. If she wanted to be left in peace to raise her family, she had every opportunity to do that by requesting that the docs and hospital continue to keep her identity private. She doesnt want to remain private.
These are babies and small children. Turning them into a public spectacle isnt something I think I'd consider a good attribute of motherhood.
I feel sorry for her and her children receiving so much scrutiny...like they're part of an exhibiton but it cannot be avoided. People LOVE gossip and anything different from the norm is up for debate and criticism.
I just hope and pray for those kids...hopefully they will get a loving mother who will do her best to take care of them and raise them well. Inshallah.
