Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Ok let me smoke 
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
May I light your cigarette
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
I am sad about OP's experience, but the title is over generalization.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Most of my extended family lives in Pakistan and I have never seen this attitude from any of them. Just like I can't judge the situation of men-women of the entire country based on experiences of people I know; its equally invalid for people to say all Pak men are baighairat.
Women do get abused in Pakistan, no denying that. I have seen poor housemaids beaten black and blue first hand, but that type of violence is rife everywhere. Domestic violence like rape and murder isn't a Pakistan only issue. Maybe the degree to which it happens is worse in Pakistan.
i have seen pakistani women being abused in US as well. my aunt had to put up with her demanding inlaws for a long time and the husband just told her to deal with it coz thats his mother and she needs to take care of her. is that not beghairty on the husbands behalf that he lets his mother get away with that and let her abuse his wife?? mental abuse is even more painful. most men dont think of that as abuse! and this is in US by the way, pakistani american guys are no different. the only difference now is that alot of american pakistani women are leaving their abusive husbands. but the women of previous generation just put up with this mental abuse from husbands and inlaws for all their lives.
as far as conditions in pakistan go, middle class and lower class women are abused both physically and mentally. not just Pakistan but in alot of other asian and african countries as well.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Most of my extended family lives in Pakistan and I have never seen this attitude from any of them. Just like I can't judge the situation of men-women of the entire country based on experiences of people I know; its equally invalid for people to say all Pak men are baighairat.
Women do get abused in Pakistan, no denying that. I have seen poor housemaids beaten black and blue first hand, but that type of violence is rife everywhere. Domestic violence like rape and murder isn't a Pakistan only issue. Maybe the degree to which it happens is worse in Pakistan.
No one gives a ****t about your extended family and no one is asserting this is a pakistani issue...
This is a typical Pakjabi approach...'lapar ek haath ka khaiyya..baqwas bolna shooro kiya" You speaking about other issues, or bringing up anecdotes when I am speaking about a STATISTIC. We are speaking at different levels.
I dont care about your 'in this one instance' because truth be told if I wrote 'pakistani men are such geratmand' a person like you would give me an anecdote of how begerat they are.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
i have seen pakistani women being abused in US as well. my aunt had to put up with her demanding inlaws for a long time and the husband just told her to deal with it coz thats his mother and she needs to take care of her.** is that not beghairty on the husbands behalf that he lets his mother get away with that and let her abuse his wife?**? mental abuse is even more painful. most men dont think of that as abuse! and this is in US by the way, pakistani american guys are no different. the only difference now is that alot of american pakistani women are leaving their abusive husbands. but the women of previous generation just put up with this mental abuse from husbands and inlaws for all their lives. as far as conditions in pakistan go, middle class and lower class women are abused both physically and mentally. not just Pakistan but in alot of other asian and african countries as well.
Bold bit: Er unless I have written something which glorifies abuse you seemed to be have gone off a bit randomly. I wrote something completely opposite.
As for the rest of the post its similar to the OP's which I have already acknowledged as being true and addressed it. My issue was the thread title rather than any particular post.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Oh dear.
Noone is asserting this is a Pakistani issue? Unless I am going blind and have misread the title and the first post. Have a word with yourself, loosing it and then calling others baygharat is a bit funny and boring at the same time.
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Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
No one gives a *t about your extended family and no one is asserting this is a pakistani issue...***
This is a typical Pakjabi approach...'lapar ek haath ka khaiyya..baqwas bolna shooro kiya" You speaking about other issues, or*** bringing up anecdotes when I am speaking about a STATISTIC. ***We are speaking at different levels.
I dont care about your 'in this one instance' because truth be told if I wrote 'pakistani men are such geratmand' a person like you would give me an anecdote of how begerat they are.
The majority of people on here have not done scholarly statistical research on domestic violence in Pakistan. It stands to reason that they are drawing from personal experience to try to answer your question. If you are looking for a more scholarly approach, perhaps you could phrase you question differently and state that you would like academic research complete with statistics?
As far as it not being a Pakistani issue, the title of this thread implies otherwise: why are pakistani men such begerat?
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
The majority of people on here have not done scholarly statistical research on domestic violence in Pakistan. It stands to reason that they are drawing from personal experience to try to answer your question. If you are looking for a more scholarly approach, perhaps you could phrase you question differently?
As far as it not being a Pakistani issue, the title of this thread implies otherwise: why are pakistani men such begerat
Pretty much this.
The OP seems to read selectively, I have already said I agree with the horrid statistic and my issue was with the thread title, not her post.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
not only do pakistani men abuse, but they also dont stand up for their wives who get mentally abused by his family. that's what i have seen, and have been through personally when I was engaged to a pakistani american guy.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
No one gives a ****t about your extended family and no one is asserting this is a pakistani issue...
This is a typical Pakjabi approach...'lapar ek haath ka khaiyya..baqwas bolna shooro kiya" You speaking about other issues, or bringing up anecdotes when I am speaking about a STATISTIC. We are speaking at different levels.
I dont care about your 'in this one instance' because truth be told if I wrote 'pakistani men are such geratmand' a person like you would give me an anecdote of how begerat they are.
What "statistic"? Like TLK said, sorry about what happened to you and the immense trauma you had to go through, but don't generalize based on your OWN personal experiences. If someone has posted about their experiences, that automatically cuts down your baseless statistic by at least a half.
rabia3983 posted an infographic about the safety of women around the world, and it's clear according to that the glorified Western world isn't a perfectly safe place for women either. Let's get something straight, this is not a PAKISTANI men problem, this is a GLOBAL problem.
Also, wth is PAKJABI? The correct term is PUJNJABI. I know you're trying to make some lame point by corrupting the name of a province, but please don't. It just weakens whatever point you're trying to make.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Honestly BSB, if you don’t have anything to contribute, then don’t say anything. Cafe is a click away from here. Please go flood there if you’re really itching to 
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
not only do pakistani men abuse, but they also dont stand up for their wives who get mentally abused by his family. that's what i have seen, and have been through personally when I was engaged to a pakistani american guy.
was he born here? did he at least do his high school educaiton here? how sheletered of an ubringing did you assume he had when you first met him? What is your own background?
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
What "statistic"? Like TLK said, sorry about what happened to you and the immense trauma you had to go through, but don't generalize based on your OWN personal experiences. If someone has posted about their experiences, that automatically cuts down your baseless statistic by at least a half. rabia3983 posted an infographic about the safety of women around the world, and it's clear according to that the glorified Western world isn't a perfectly safe place for women either. Let's get something straight, this is not a PAKISTANI men problem, this is a GLOBAL problem.
Yes indeed its a global problem but in america, its usually only the trashy trailer home alcoholics who abuse like that. unfortunately, pakistani men even with great education and salaries continue to abuse their wives. again, abuse does not have to be physical. i have seen mental abuse very commonly in pakistani american guys.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Yes indeed its a global problem but in america, its usually only the trashy trailer home alcoholics who abuse like that. unfortunately, pakistani men even with great education and salaries continue to abuse their wives. again, abuse does not have to be physical. i have seen mental abuse very commonly in pakistani american guys.
Abusive behavior can be stopped in America if you put an end to it. Why do you want to become a victim of mental torture? Is someone pressuring you? Or do you want to gain self-pity?
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
was he born here? did he at least do his high school educaiton here? how sheletered of an ubringing did you assume he had when you first met him? What is your own background?
He was born and raised here in US. went to college, was an a mechanical engineer. I am also pakistani by origin but i was raised in US aswell. he never hit me but he never stood up for me when his psycho mother would call me names. if thats not beghairty, i wonder what is.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Men who abuse are usually not the only ones to blame, its us women who let them treat us like this and get away with it.
i have seen pakistani women being abused in US as well. my aunt had to put up with her demanding inlaws for a long time and the husband just told her to deal with it coz thats his mother and she needs to take care of her.
as far as conditions in pakistan go, middle class and lower class women are abused both physically and mentally. not just Pakistan but in alot of other asian and african countries as well.
not only do pakistani men abuse, but they also dont stand up for their wives who get mentally abused by his family. that's what i have seen, and have been through personally when I was engaged to a pakistani american guy.
In your first post you said that it's us women who put up with it. And you're correct in that statement. In general women are taught to sit back and take it, because it's an "izzat ka masla". Then you go talking about how you and someone you personally know went through different forms of abuse. I can't blame you for also developing your views based on your experiences. After all, this is how we build ourselves as persons. But, what have YOU done in order to fight this abusive behavior? Have you gone and talked to other women about how they should empower themselves? Have you posted in various other forums about your experiences and how you decided to fight back and end an engagement? Or have you instead decided to take things out of context of another poster and reiterate your personal views and call them "statistical" instead of doing something positive?
You said it in your second post, and I said it before as well, it's a global problem. Because it's a global problem, don't label it as a problem among the people of only 1 nation. There are plenty of public examples about abuse against women and the extent to which it can go, as there are examples of abuse that men go at the hands of women. Don't generalize. Don't say that it's a problem among 95% of Pakistanis. Don't insult your own intelligence by making such broad statements.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Abusive behavior can be stopped in America if you put an end to it. Why do you want to become a victim of mental torture? Is someone pressuring you? Or do you want to gain self-pity?
I am not playing the victim card her, I left my ex-fiancee long time ago when he let me get abused my his family. I am only sharing my experience to explain why i agree with the OP and why I think majority of Pakistani guys incliduing American pakistani guys are indeed beghairat.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
Yes indeed its a global problem but in america, its usually only the trashy trailer home alcoholics who abuse like that. unfortunately, pakistani men even with great education and salaries continue to abuse their wives. again, abuse does not have to be physical. i have seen mental abuse very commonly in pakistani american guys.
So because you have seen Pakistani men abuse women which means all of Pakistani men are abusive? I agree with what Khumar says, there is abuse, noone can deny it. In our culture either a woman sticks by abuse or she stands up and is thrown out as a result. Which isn't desirable considering how we treat divorced women. Those women are abused by hateful men, who demonise women and think women are worthless. How are women who label all men as idiots and abusers any different?
You're basing your own view based on your experience, like the OP who I feel sorry for what she went through, and I am posting on my own experience. This isn't to say you're wrong and I am right. Not at all. I agreed with the first post as I said. However this is a global issue, not one nation one.
Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
So because you have seen Pakistani men abuse women which means all of Pakistani men are abusive? I agree with what Khumar says, there is abuse, noone can deny it. In our culture either a woman sticks by abuse or she stands up and is thrown out as a result. Which isn't desirable considering how we treat divorced women. Those women are abused by hateful men, who demonise women and think women are worthless. How are women who label all men as idiots and abusers any different?
You're basing your own view based on your experience, like the OP who I feel sorry for what she went through, and I am posting on my own experience. This isn't to say you're wrong and I am right. Not at all. I agreed with the first post as I said. However this is a global issue, not one nation one.
I never said ALL pakistani men, i said MAJORITY of them. I should have mentioned **MAJORITY OF PAKISTANI MEN THAT I HAVE ENCOUNTERED IN MY LIFE, **whether it was my ex, my uncles, men in my extended family and friends.