Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

[cpa2011]

Re: Why are Pakistani men such begerat?

@zetsui

**Domestic violence in Pakistan is an endemic social problem. According to a study carried out in 2009 by Human Rights Watch, it is estimated that between 70 and 90 percent of women in Pakistan have suffered some form of abuse.[SUP][1]](Domestic violence in Pakistan - Wikipedia)[/SUP] ****Asthugfirullah. TMI

I would say Arabs and Pakistanis are proabbly the worst to their wives. In the states thankfully all of us who deal with stupid fathers like this, seek to learn from their mistakes, and treat our wives like princesses (what I plan to do inshallah), but why this embedded ‘kanjar menality’ in Pakistani men?

For instance in Pakjabi culture, I notice that men think that kids and wife should ‘give’ respect ot the man of the house…respect, for me, is not something given to you by your kids and wive, it is EARNED from them. Why the mentality? Is this one of the symptoms of the Arabization of Pakistan? Could someone explain?

WHat amazes me the most is how the wives who earn these slaps try to protect the husband…I remember myself and brotherw ould protect mom from her beating only to have her protect my dad, like wtf?

**

Your mom wasn’t protecting your dad. she was protecting her kids. By scolding you two, she prevented your dad, from hitting you two. Your dad, prevented your mom from visiting her family, so that slowly the relationship desolves, and she has no one in the outside world to comunicate too or rely on for help if needed. This helps him kind of slowly brainwash her, into doing what he wanted, and accepting how he behaved as normal. Kudos to your mom for still having the ability to raise someone opinionated, and able to realize what was going on. She is a strong woman. Many time kids of these families, just end up on drugs, or dropouts, because of depression, and the fact that the dad’s lowered there selfesteem to the point where, the kids think they are not worthy to do anything. The dads do this to prevent the kids from fighting back when they get older. Usually these guys have somesort of agression, due to a bad childhood, or the fact that life is harder for them somehow.

This happens in every issue of domestic abuse, regardless of race or origin. Actually there was a 20/20 episode, where this guy used to force his kids to record him beating his wife. You can see it on youtube.

Its not just pak and saudi, mostly all Asians have men in the dominant position. It used to be in Europe/America as well, and still is, just less. Its just more seen in Pak and Saudi, because women are more dependent on their husbands for financial support inaddition to the social stigma of divorce. Alot of women will hear all this and say oh, “mene berdasht kia, yeh kuni karsakti ti”. Its getting less actually in our culture though as many women aren’t taking as much, and getting divorced more often.

Don’t feel bad, use this negative experience to improve yourself. Like take your mom on a vacation, or take her out, and keep communcation with her. You don’t realize how lonely she must have been when you were younger and she had noone to talk to. I know it will never fix what happened, but it doesnt’ hurt to give some happiness to someone.