Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
Sometimes I feel Muslims living in the West just try too hard and in the process of trying too hard they get more confused and often indulge in self-hating. There are soooooo many non Muslims (and if it makes it sound better) white folks in Britain who can't stand V-day, if you actually read the cold, dismissive comments about V-day on Guardian, Times, Independent etc ect, you'd think that UK is run by the Talibans. So its not the end of the world if your child does not have a lovey dovey view about this day, Its actually worse to have a girl who hopes to receive flowers or get snogged on this day, or a boy who use this day to take advantage of girls...because this day is all about 'love' and expressing 'feelings' (yeah beta those kinds of feelings you know)
Its not an attack or pointer towards anyone here, just my view.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
njgal.. Eid is not a hallmark holiday.. there is a history behind the two Eids that we celebrate.. please dont put it in the same category as the rest of the holidays.
I have the same thoughts for mothers day as V day!
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
^ ofcourse it is hallmark holiday for many people.
kapray, mithae, jewerly, presents, eidi, dawats. Do you have any idea how much consumerism is structured for sale of Eid clothes and joray in Pakistan?
Have you looked at the recent marketing campaigns for Eid?
Point is that you for kids one shouldn't encourage over consumerism even FOR our own islamic holidays.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
The only thing that bothers me about Valentines is the essence of the day itself i.e. expressing love for someone (and we know it’s mostly not for parents,siblings only)
So I wouldnt encourage my kids to celebrate it..as they might gradually start wishing to have that someone special who would gift them chocolates and flowers and express their undying love for them..once they grow up. They would then feel as social outcasts just because they are single and all their middle or highschool friends are going out and celebrating as a couple.
And you know it does become a dilemma when kids in Pak celebrate this day with more zeal than Eid..and for them Eid becomes so boring that they sleep through the day.
Now trick or treating or giving christmas gifts is another story. I wouldnt mind that tbh.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
i grew up in a muslim country went to an 'english' medium pakistani school and yet because of indian movies and peer pressure i kept on hoping i would get a card or a flower from a secret admirer.
my parents didnt know what valentine day was, and they werent aware what it could do to the minds of teenagers. Everything was haram and my mom wanted to raise me like how she was raised without being aware of the culture around.
Being a parent myself I know that I cant isolate my kid when he goes to kindergarten or school from these holidays i just need to be non chalant abt these days and put more emphasis (make it fun) on our own holidays and islamic traditions. He can be a part of what the class is doing but we are not doing that stuff at home.
Will i take my kid trick or treating probably not but if he has to dress as a character and go to school i will do that inshAllah. Ppl spend tons on b'day parties i will probably organize eid parties with bouncy castle so he can make memories, and also share his days with his friends.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
i'm ok with celebrating v-day/halloween/easter coz they do it at school(mostly card n candy exchange with entire class or wear red), not that we do valentine days parties at home or go to family dances. When they r young its all abt candies but as they grow older (once in jr.high) u hav to put restrictions like all schools hav halloween n valentine day's dances but i didn't let older ones go. Even my daughter who is 7.5 now i told her that next yr no more halloween as she's a big girl now n its a silly event. I didn't send any cards with her n he was complaining in the morning.
HOUSTON – Things took a turn for the worst for fifth grader Khalid Razak when he had a valentine’s card stuck on his locker. Khalid’s parents were reported to be extremely upset by this action.
“I can’t believe our young boy received a Valentine’s card,” said Khalid’s father, “These cards all promote sex. Astagfirullah”
Khalid’s mother agreed. “We sent him to this school to avoid things like this but unfortunately people love this stupid holiday everywhere. The only thing I like about it is the cinnamon hearts.”
The reasoning for the Razaks hate for Valentine’s stems from the fact that Mr. Razak had a rough past with non-Muslim holidays. “My co-worker once offered me a cookie that was shaped like a Christmas tree. I told him I don’t eat things like this.” After hearing this, it was reported that the co-worker threw the cookie at Mr.Razak’s face, causing him to receive 3 stitches on the upper lip.
Khalid’s Valentine’s Card doesn’t help. What also doesn’t help is that Khalid goes to an all-boys school.
“I got Valentine cards all the time when I was younger but never here. I’m quite disgusted and flattered at the same time.” he said.
The card was in unusual taste:
The Razaks are contemplating home-schooling for Khalid to avoid any similar incidents like this in the future.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
i grew up in a muslim country went to an 'english' medium pakistani school and yet because of indian movies and peer pressure i kept on hoping i would get a card or a flower from a secret admirer.
my parents didnt know what valentine day was, and they werent aware what it could do to the minds of teenagers. Everything was haram and my mom wanted to raise me like how she was raised without being aware of the culture around.
Being a parent myself I know that I cant isolate my kid when he goes to kindergarten or school from these holidays i just need to be non chalant abt these days and put more emphasis (make it fun) on our own holidays and islamic traditions. He can be a part of what the class is doing but we are not doing that stuff at home.
Will i take my kid trick or treating probably not but if he has to dress as a character and go to school i will do that inshAllah. Ppl spend tons on b'day parties i will probably organize eid parties with bouncy castle so he can make memories, and also share his days with his friends.
automne, there's another sad side to it something i feel that muslims as a community never celebrate eids as all these non-muslim events r celebrated. They literally throw money, hav tons of volunteers and sponsors. The Masjid does bring in bouncy castles but due to lack of proper discipline, it becomes a pain than pleasure. Plus its more of buying than getting free fun. So eventually kids start thinking that christmas, halloween, valentines etc is more fun coz they get clowns, santas, candies/cards/chocolates, face paintings etc. They actually get ingrained.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
^ You are right Mabrook, but look at how much effort we muslims put in celebrating our days versus others celebrating their days. Mothers make cards, goodies with their kids, out shopping on their holidays and what do most muslim mothers do ? *Kids don't build anticipation for holidays parents do. *
I grew up in a household where ramadhan was celebrated with fervour, food was a important part of it but food is an important part of all holidays. Then the anticipation for eid was built by our parents, we got eid presents in the form of toys, had 3 new outfits and matching accessories. Last two days abbu would help ammi with all household chores, bringing in dry fruits and the smell of sawaiyaan filled the air. Then going to masjid was a must for all of us. and then the meeting and greeting started till we crashed late evening.
What do we do now, sleep the eid away. We have to put an effort, if the day is not off we can talk to teachers and celebrate it in our kids' schools, do eid cards and so on.
Back to topic V- day is great as kids but it messes up teenagers all this pressure of someone loving you and you placing your worth on having a special someone. Pls don't tell me that it doesn't happen with girls who come from loving homes and are confident, peer pressure to have that significant other is a lot. And this is not limited to N. America, all through out high school all the popular girls were getting cards, chocolates and flowers and that wish was there that koi toh ho joh mujhey bhee pyar karey. Pathetic as it sounds now, it needs to be something parents need to be aware of and be prepared to deal with.
Poor soul can’t even tale the child back home because they celebrate it wih more jazba and junoon than amreeki mulk.
I think parents need to understand that they are raising their children in a different country so obviously their experiences won’t be the same. How can a kid who sees every store declaring valentines day not know about it so there isn’t any use in sheltering them.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
OK yesterday I have seen v-day being celebrated in Karachi like an eid day ....it was crazy !
I don't like and approve the idea of celebrating V-day but this is just my point of view. I would not want my daughter to celebrate this day at this age unless she wants to celebrate it with her hubby when she grows up. But having said that if in future her school will hold any activity to celebrate this day I will not stop her because I don't want her to feel the odd one or feel any inferior .
One has to decide according to the environment and circumstances I don't think that by celebrating V-day she will not grow up to be a good muslim.
