I understand we live in a non muslim country BUT come on folks! Why so much tension? Like last night, a muslim parent was upset at me for letting my kids take goodies for their Valentine’s day party at school today. She thinks I’m promoting Valentine’s Day and that it will mess up my child’s thought process.
Are we that insecure about our religious beliefs? Wouldn’t we be segregating our children from the environment they are growing up in and eventually turn them into social outcasts that have low tolerance for other cultures? It’s not like we’re teaching our kids that it is OK to worship other gods.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
I know many non-msulims from India and Pakistan and almost all of them tell me how they used to celebrate Eid with their muslims friends - one of them used to fast during Ramazan just because his friends were fasting. Pakistani non-muslims very normally say Inshallah and Allah hafiz in their greetings.
None of them or their kids turned into Muslims. All of them are very practicing in their religion and their kids tought processes is as fine as it should be. We muslims are little too insecure about mixing with other religions than we should be.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
it’s hard for people who didn’t grow up in this culture to whole hearty accept it so they denounce everything as “haram”. They feel like that this will create black and white boundaires for their children. However, it further confuses the children and alienates them.
I had a valetines day party on Sunday for my kids. It was my neighbors and close friends. I took the girls to Sunday school in the morning and ofcourse someone told my daughter that it is “haram” to celebrate valenatines day. She had so many questions.
I had to tell her that we don’t “shove” islam into everything like riding a bike, celebrating non religious holidays. And the things that are “HARAM” are spelt very clearily in the Quran and celebrating valentines day is NOT one of them
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
There's a deeper message behind it and that's only half the story.
V-Day is certainly 'haram' for those teenagers who use this day to get on with all sorts of haram things with each other. I've seen it all first hand in my school days and trust me that sort of 'tolerance' is no good to the society or their personal well being, just ask my school teachers.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
There's a deeper message behind it and that's only half the story.
V-Day is certainly 'haram' for those teenagers who use this day to get on with all sorts of haram things with each other. I've seen it all first hand in my school days and trust me that sort of 'tolerance' is no good to the society or their personal well being, just ask my school teachers.
but doing all sort of things is haram anyways, not only on Valentines day
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
I agree. My own parents were awesome about 'being normal' - for lack of better words. I went to Valentine's Day at school with goodies and I'm definitely intact with my faith. I didn't grow up to date/flirt with guys on V-Day. It's all about the message you send across to your kids, and how you do it.
When you continuously suppress and frighten children from small things, they want to try those things more and more. I think it leads to wanting to try bigger things (drinking, dating etc). I knew so many kids throughout elementary and then in high school and now college whose parents were extremely rigid, and now they're all insane. =/ In the sense that they go clubbing, drink, have multiple partners...and they hate their own religion. They have no qualms in saying that Islam is a really backwards religion, however in front of their parents they still act 'religious'. It's really sad. And also, I know this isn't the case with all kids raised in that kind of a household. But that's just my observation.
Raising kids is tough, but if you make everything out to be the devil...then it'll be even more tough. As parents, they should instill in their kids a strong sense of faith along with being socially normal. You don't need to live in a corner and hate everything around you in order to be a good Muslim.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
but doing all sort of things is haram anyways, not only on Valentines day
Indeed, but V-day is certainly an occasion of opportunities and temptation thanks to the culture. Its one to thing to not instill V day contempt in your kids but its another to present them with the lovey dovey ideas of this day.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
^Thanks. Here's another tough one. How long do you supervise their TV, movie watching ? When do you (or do you ever) get off their case about what they are watching ? We all know the kind of smut these movie producers sneak in even in PG-13s.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
I bet TLK gave you Valentine’s day gifts when you were in college
But okay on topic. I agree with Jolie. It may actually create an issue in the long run. You tell your kids okay beta Valentine’s day is not our religion but okay its not HARAM so its okay to celebrate it with others… And then 10-15 years down the line, the see their buddies celebrating.. umm like Jolie said it only increases peer presure on them and well mommy already said its not HARAM. I honestly think that ocassions like these increases pressure on our kids to do what the whole world around us are doing. I’ve seen it being celebrated when I was in school. I did want to be a part of it. I wanted someone to send me candies because it looked so cool.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
I grew up with all the holiday parties at school, trick or treating and wearing green on st paddy's day...and it did not effect my faith/morality one bit. Same with my kids...they will trick or treat as long as it's still "cool", take pink cupcakes to school and give their teacher's christmas presents...I don't think it's a conflict of any sort...all three are nearing the finish of quran sharif (15th & 20th paras respectively, mA!) go to Sunday School every week, have sura memoriziation appropriate for their age levels, know their namaz, and are all around good kids, so I must be doing something right.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
That is deep.
[Per mere sar ke oopar se guzar gai. :)]
i was saying......... those who did celebrate......will say......we turned out perfect....
those who didn't celebrate....... will say........we turned out perfect.....
those who allow kids to celebrate wills ay......our kids are perfect
and those who don't allow............................theirs kids are perfect too.........
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
Perfection does not exist in the world today, and I don't see that anyone here is declaring themselves or their parenting styles to be perfect.
Just find what works for you and your family and know that we all have to answer to the same God when our times comes. Other than that, no explanations to anyone else should be necessary. There is no one size fits all answer to life.
And last I checked, this thread is just a vehicle for healthy discourse. Let's not sound so petty and judgemental....
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
i was saying......... those who did celebrate......will say......we turned out perfect....
those who didn't celebrate....... will say........we turned out perfect.....
those who allow kids to celebrate wills ay......our kids are perfect
and those who don't allow............................theirs kids are perfect too.........
and all will be right, because participating in valentines day does not screw up anyone's upbringing, nor it will make those better who dont participate.
Re: Why are muslim parents so concerned about little little things?
I will never go out of my way to celebrate V day, or take my kids trick or treating etc etc but if it's something they do in school, I dont have issues with it.. jaisa dais, waisa bhais! but I will make sure they learn that it's not our tradition and we can celebrate every Friday as a family day and I will have no issues with making that special for them!!!
Just because hallmark tells me to buy chocolates/flowers today.. I refuse to be a victim of that.
