wht would u do?

if ur mom ask’s u to marry a cousin?
pak mein often esa hota hey na? lekin how do u look at it…Mean would u marry ur cousin?

And wht if u havn’t seen him ever only pics? would u prever tht
or prever a cousin with whom u have a really good relationship?

And another q
i have heard tht ppl who marry with cousins have a bigger chance to have kids with a handicap is tht true? or is tht just a rumor?

and wht does the isalm say bout marriages with cousins? or marriages in fam?

thnx in advance

Re: wht would u do?

erm in our khandaan we hve a lot a lot of cousin marriages all kids r fine , im going to marry my cousin whom i love in 3 months .

in ur situation i think i wud go for d cousin who i hve a good relationship wid
and it is allowed in islam to marry ur cousins

i wudnt say necessarily dt is a good thing or a bad thing my older sister married my cuzin who she loved bt he dint he hit her n in js 11 mnths divorced her she is much better off now , on d other hand my middle sister is havin a perfect life wid my bro in law who is my cousin too

my mum n dad werent relatd n dey hve a fantastic relationship so d choice is urs

hope dt helps :)

Re: wht would u do?


Generally, you should only marry someone who you like and is compatible with who you are. Someone with whom you can build a future. Honestly, I think cousin marriages are okay -- but they shouldn't be the default. If you and a cousin like each other and want to get married, go for it. But multiple generations of cousin marriages are not ideal.

[quote]
And wht if u havn't seen him ever only pics? would u prever tht
or prever a cousin with whom u have a really good relationship?
[/quote]
I would not marry someone I haven't met, cousin or not.

[quote]

And another q
i have heard tht ppl who marry with cousins have a bigger chance to have kids with a handicap is tht true? or is tht just a rumor?
[/quote]
There is a slightly greater risk, but it is small. I know a lot of cousin-couples and mashAllah their kids are fine. The risk is compounded over multiple generations of cousin marriages.

[quote]

and wht does the isalm say bout marriages with cousins? or marriages in fam?
[/quote]
From my understanding, they are allowed, but not required.

Re: wht would u do?

While the chance is bigger than when marrying non-related people, it's still extremely, extremely small. The overwhelming majority of people who marry their cousins have normal kids.

Re: wht would u do?

Personally I'm against cousin marriages. I grew up with my cousins and to me they are my sisters and sisters they shall remain, future partner no chance!

Triple K - Don't marry people blindly. Tasveer daikhi and shaadi kai liyai razamand, that's too big a risk to take.

Re: wht would u do?

It depends what sort of relationship you have with your cousins, i actually grew up with my cousins and always had friendly relationship and always considered them sisters. I was shocked when my uncle's family sent a proposal for my cousin, i coldn't even imagine marrying her and the whole FAMILY (not my mother or father) put me under immense pressure but i simply refused it and somewhat affected the our relationship with uncles and aunties (although all of them love me and are very nice).

It's allowed in Islam and it can work well in some cases but marrying someone whom you once respected/considered as a sister is out of question.

Re: wht would u do?

eww never.

Re: wht would u do?

OKay thnx lekin u know wht i was wondering how can u amrry some one who’s a sort of ur bro or sis… yeah sorrey lekin my cousins are ma bro’s soo it was a bit strange to mee
lekin i have met some one he’s not directly fam but he still is fam…hope u guys understand :blush: So inshah allah i’ll be engeaging next month with him…but i’m affraid for the kids…couz some ppl and some friends are scarring me off…and i do wnna have kids…

okay so the chance is really nihil?? thnx

mashah allah may allah give u all the happiness

auchhh tht’s awfull lekin like u said she’s better off without him…and u know wht i also think tht…no girl diserves to be beaten up no one
hope ur sis will get an better husband in the future

Re: wht would u do?

^I agree. If you feel they are like your siblings then the marriage may have problems. If you see them more as friends or as potential romantic partners, then obviously there is more of a chance for a successful marriage.

Don't worry about the risk for your kids if your marry your distant relative. InshAllah all will be fine. Congratulations!

Re: wht would u do?

thnx i had another q for tha ladies

wht if i don't want kids directly 9 months after marriage?
should a girl start with birth control tabs before marriage? or after?(tht's not the right time may be it will be too late) or should a girl take a mornig after tab?

Re: wht would u do?

In Islam...cousin marriages are allowed but not encouraged.

Marrying your cousin is a personal choice...i wouldnt do it...but that's just me.

There is a very small chance that you can end up with a child that has a genetic disorder but that chance is there regardless of whether you marry a cousin or not. That chance increase if cousin marriages occur with every generation.

I wouldnt marry someone that I havent met in person. So before you make a decision...meet him.

Re: wht would u do?

before before before!!! it takes 4 months for the pills to properly start working. and by that time you will be used to it.

ps as for your first question, nope not ever! i don't want to increase the chances of having genetic deformities. even if the first generation doesn't show it, the second or third can. my cousins are like my brothers...so double ewww. and cousin marriage is no guarantee that the marriage will stay forever. and it can complicate the family relations even further.

Re: wht would u do?

OMG do not rely on the morning after pill! It is a very heavy dose of medicine only to be used in emergencies!!! It is not a routine form of birth control.

You need to talk about this with your husband. If you are comfortable taking the birth control pill, go for it, but make sure you understand its side effects, etc. There are many other forms of birth control, in addition to the pills and condoms, that you should consider. Speak to your gynecologist or another knowledgeable health care professional if you need more advice on birth control.

Re: wht would u do?

hmm okay u know wht i don’t understad is tht some ppl don’t understand the need of it…i had a cousin she didn’t wnt a baby directly after marriage cauz she wnted her husband to be in europe first…but okay she didn’t use the birth control tal or condoms…and she end up bein pregnant…she really wanted the baby lekin he ahad to do some thing for her hubby to come to europe…lekin everything went wrong she had to travel al ot and at the end the bay was born to quick(6 months) but he’s doin right at the firts the doc’s were sayin the chances for survivence are really lill lekin okay… he’s mashah allah fine now

and tht’s exactly wht i was thinkin u know 1 cousins are really close to me…they are really like bro’s to me…but mah future hubby is a bit diff he made me change ma mind :blush:

Re: wht would u do?

yeah lot of ppl talk bout the side effects lekin yeah wht should a girl use then?
condoms? ain't really comfi with those dunno why......And i really don't want to end up pregnant directly....besides how should i tell ma mum bout it?
okay ma mum is western(she's not a paki) and she's really open bout stuff but for ma self it's a bit harsh to talk bout wih her.....

Re: wht would u do?

no way!

I would either find someone, or I wouldn’t marry at all :bummer:

Re: wht would u do?

lol aunty

but immagine u like a boy but u don’t know he’s ur cousin? and u really wnna mary him wht would u do then?

Re: wht would u do?

You're going to need to get comfortable talking about it with someone. At the very least your doctor. Birth Control pills are fine for most -- go for it.

Re: wht would u do?

i would never marry any of my cousins . the reason is that i see a vast difference b/w their and my brought up :) and i think it would be not a healthy relationship if i married any1 of them (lol)

Re: wht would u do?

  1. not for me.
  2. can cows fly? egjactly. :D

All the best thou.