whose start the topic to start the family?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

hello
after the marriage, the couples fall in love and they become very comfortable with each other but not know how to ask their partner to start the family.
i am wondering whether is it tradition if the man asks his wife that we would like to start the family or is it other way that wife ask man? how do we start the topic to start the family and who start this? i am just concerned.

thanks

2

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

good question...

when i get married, im bringing up the topic :]
i mean when people are married they should be able to express their feelings!

3

There is no set rule. Why does it have to be one person or the other????
In a marriage, there is supposed to be mutual communication. And it's not healthy to avoid discussing an issue with your husband because you are **"waiting" **for him to start the discussion first. He's not a mind reader. And what if it doesn't occur to the husband to start the discussion until 2-3 years down the road......and the wife would much rather start a family sooner.

Having a child involves BOTH partners. Raising a child involves BOTH partners. There is no rule about who starts the topic first. A wife can be the first to bring up the issue of having children.

If she feels that shy about it....then she can start off the discussion by asking a less specific question such as "So what are our goals for the future?".....and then narrow down the discussion to children.

4

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

^ RV you could have said all that in one sentence.

p.s. This question made me laugh. When you make love, should he ask first or should she ask first? Should she wait for him to ask first?

Whose start the topic to make love. :halo:

Timepass April 2013
5

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

the question
"now we have a new house, new job then we would like to talk about what is our next aim for next year?" seem a good idea for a wife who are shy to ask the question straightfoward "i want child please".

6

Anny, it's tough for me to comprehend that a wife would be shy about asking when to have children.....but not when the ahem "rehearsals" are taking place? Because, in this case, it shouldn't be so hard to have this discussion. Unless I'm completely wrong and there are no "rehearsals".

Look, if you're feeling that uncomfortable, just ask him** "So, what are our plans for the future?"** Once you ask such a question.....he might bring up the issue of children....or you can naturally steer the conversation in that direction.

7

[quote=“Straight_up”]

^ RV you could have said all that in one sentence.

SU…if you are bothered by my writing style/length of my post…then don’t read it. You’re not obligated to. And, yes, I could have made my post more concise, but I chose not to. Just as you can choose not to read the post. :halo:

Wht r u doing ?
8

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

Thank Redvelvet. Your reply is thanks.

I don;t know why SU have a complaint about you.

9

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

Okay you're obviously confident enough to engage in...conjugal relations...with your hubby but you can't have a conversation with him??? What kind of marriage is this???

~~~Missing Someone~~~
10

LOL!

ummmmm - you really don't hafta sit down and talk! You can just go to baby stores wid your partner more often - he/she will get the idea.

11

It can be an awkward topic especially in the tabooness of our culture, and asking directly can sound unnatural and too distant. You can bring it up casually if you two are someplace together where there is a new baby around- like a relative/friend who just gave birth or if there is a kid running around at a dinner. Spend some time with the child. Then when you get home, you can say "don't you just love babies/kids?" and let the conversation flow. This way no one is really bringing up the topic- its just a discussion and it'll unravel itself.

12

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

^ Um.. no.

it's a really sad sad situation if u can't even talk to ur partner easily abt this stuff

13

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

^ Ok yes ideal situation is you are comfortable, but what's wrong even if she is a bit shy about this? you don't HAVE to sit down and ask about the future in a formal manner, I'm just suggesting how to bring it up casually if you are uncomfortable. And I also feel it is more natural to discuss it in this way as well- no confrontation, just learning more about each other. Who knows how long these two have been married- it could be an arranged marriage and they have only known each other really for a few months.

Our culture is full of non-verbal communication, sending messages through body language and intimations/suggestions. It's a beautiful part of our culture, but at the same time, it makes verbalization difficult.

14

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

I think it is wrong...to put it in graphic terms, isn't it disturbing that you would let someone see you naked but not have a conversation with them??

Timepass April 2013
15

true! true!

16

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

stop using birth control - get preggo and break the news to him! you wont even need to say anything teehee

how long have you been married? because these 'talks' about kids and everything are usually something couples discuss right when they start their relationship. you dont even need to build up courage.. your married to him.. maybe just sit with him and ask him what he thinks about kids and whether he would be ok with having a child now? believe me i think he would probably expect you to take the step..

17

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

My God

Life 1 questiopns never cease to amaze me.

In Pakistani culture, couples don't ask these questions, right after the Nikah they start trying to make a baby, its the uncles, aunts and cousins who ask this question, hey you are still not pregant!

18

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

^True dat!

19

exactly!

its funny people will find it hard to talk on topics regarding children, but will be fine to sleep with them…:konfused:

20

LOL _ LOL _

ummmm sleeping might be easier - since it’s in da dark under the sheets

Talking MIGHT BE HARD - cause it’s in the daylights face to face

LOL -

some people are just too funny on this board. Thank God I was not stupid about this issue:hehe: