whose start the topic to start the family?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

this will not cause any problem if they have love marriage, but in arrange marriage, they could take 1 year to become comfortable. a lot of my cousins were in arranged marriage then after 3 -5 months all got pregnant already. they did not meet each other before, only on phone, online MSN, email then met on wedding day. i am surprise they become very comfortable with the stranger into best friend. i think?

22

Any,

You will get pregnant when Allah feels that it is the right time for you to have children. If you have had an arranged marriage, then I think it is better for you to just focus on getting to know your husband and developing a strong relationship with him. This is more important than having children. A couple should have a strong and healthy relationship with one another before having children.

Also, it's not a competition. Just because your cousins became pregnant 3-5 months after marriage......does not mean that you also have to become pregnant 3-5 months after marriage. There is no rule about when you should become pregnant. Yeh ghalat soch hai. Tumhara apni cousins k saath muqaabla to nahin hona chahiye about pregnancy. Just relax and bond with your husband.

23

hey dear anny ,,how long u been married?? and the second thing it doesnt matter wheteher arrange marriage or love but atleat u shall nt feel shy asking abt this,,i mean mine is arrange marriage too but i can talk openly abt this topic. if ur housewife then tell ur husabnd i get bored at home and got nothing to do and i want baby now so i cudnt get bored anymore,,,well best of luck!!:)

24

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

"Yeh ghalat soch hai. Tumhara apni cousins k saath muqaabla to nahin hona chahiye about pregnancy."
kindly please translate it in English. I am not very good with Urdu.

thanks

Wht r u doing ?
25

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

"this thinking is wrong, you shouldn't compete with your cousins on getting pregnant"...thats the jist of it.

i still don't get why someone should feel shy after marriage, doesnt matter if it's arranged, once ur married this stupid "shyness" should be gone!

26

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

Why the eff would you be shy talking to your partner about having kids? :konfused:

27

What I'm trying to say is that it is not necessary for you to get pregnant 3-5 months after marriage like your cousins. It is not a rule that you have to follow the same path that your cousins took. You shouldn't make pregnancy a competition with your cousins. You will get pregnant when Allah wills it. For right now, just focus on building a strong relationship with your husband. It's better for a couple to have a strong relationship before having kids.

Many people on this thread are having a hard time understanding why you feel shy talking to your husband about having children..........when you share a bed with and him and sleep with him. There is nothing embarrassing about such a conversation especially after a couple has engaged in physical intimacy.

Since you feel shy about talking to your husband about children.......then I get the impression that you and your husband are not very close and that the communication between you both is not very strong. I suggest you work on improving this aspect of your relationship before having children.

28

Re: whose start the topic to start the family?

hi all
thank for all your reply.
i will not be competitive with my cousin.
i will be concentrate on my relationship to my husband to become more stronger (look after each other, caring, etc rather than worry about children).

thanks