Who's to blame?

[khattichic]

Re: Who’s to blame?

@Mirch

Priceless argument. :k:

In Urdu they say wali k ghar main ****an aur shaitan k ghar main wali paida ho sakta hay.

@Sehrysh

khatti, this is why I love you

Great example to describe the scenario I was trying to set up :k:

@_Passionate

Obviously you cannot say in any case of a child going astray that it was just the parent’s fault or just the child’s fault.

There is always one black sheep in a family, and it is a point to wonder about as to why that happens.

Why is it that that child continues on with that behavior and noone can control it? Is it because it cannot be controlled or noone is willing to control it? Is that one kid’s bad behavior helping fulfill needs of other family members? For example, when parents are focused on that one child’s bad behavior, the rest of the siblings can get away with a lot of other stuff that parents don’t have the time to check up on. So the rest of the siblings could be enabling that person’s behaviors. And I am not saying this in a conspiracy theory type of way. Also, focusing on that one child’s bad behavior maybe helping the parents avoid dealing with their own problems. And again the bad kids behavior gets enabled.

@Reha

No, it probably isn’t the parents’ fault.

But…I do think there’s something else there that probably got overlooked with that child. Something that was missed and it got out of hand.

I have seen a little of what you’re talking about (one family in particular). The parents didn’t know the child had been molested by a family member as a teenager. Things kept getting worse and she had no outlet or anyone she could really turn to. Maybe that is an isolated case but I feel like there are other issues that need attention but don’t get it.

These parents that I’m speaking of have done everything they can to help/figure this child out…counseling, medication even moving to 3-4 different cities to change the enviroment/influences be near family. Nothing has helped. The kid (now 20 years old, in college) is just rotten. She’s been diagnosed as mild bipolar disorder (or at least that’s what they say) but I don’t know, I’ve seen this kid since she was born…and I’m just stumped.

They are still paying for her college tuition (she is a brilliant academic student) with the hopes that once she is done with school, she’s out on her own for good I guess…