Who's the Bride???

Muzna · May 10, 2007, 1:22pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

Did anyone say that you don't trust your family lubly?

lublyjubly · May 10, 2007, 1:37pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

your comment implies that those brides who choose to have a more involved role in the preparations for their wedding, do so because they don't put their trust in the people around them... hence my comment.

just because some of us are planning our wedding days with precision, does not mean to say that we are so deluded that we don't realise it is one day and there is life after the wedding day.

somegroovychick · May 10, 2007, 3:25pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

^ yup

altho deluded might be a bit harsh, i get the gist of what you're saying and i agree.

mirzajamila · May 10, 2007, 4:44pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

Taking decision/making plans for the wedding is not a bad idea, only when come to get things done, one should get an extra hand to handle thing or doing the running around, you can always give your idea as to what to do/where to go so in this one is not stress out on the big day (wedding day).

Amani06 · May 10, 2007, 7:49pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

Rah man i cant believe this thread is still going!

Aish · May 11, 2007, 4:35am

Re: Who's the Bride???

Salaams yall,
Ok there is nothing wrong, in my opinion of course, for a new dulhan to be wearing red cloths, or even a lehenga or whatever. Where else is she gonna show off her clothes? That's what new clothes are for. The bride shouldn't be that insecure, I mean she'll be getting all the attention no matter what anyone else wears, you know? Its a free country

Muzna · May 11, 2007, 1:22pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

There was no implication in my comment.
I am much too outspoken to rely on implications to get my message across.

You have a funny way of participating in a debate.
What you say is supposed to be taken as your opinion, yet what I say is interpretted with implications and reading between the lines.

Chill little lady.
I posted how I handled my wedding.
There was no insinuation, implication or hidden message there.

mirzajamila · May 11, 2007, 1:24pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

Yeah! brides do get all the attention regardless, as all wanted to see what kind of outfit and jewellery the brides are wearing (poor brides has to sit for so many hrs)

S02 · May 11, 2007, 8:58pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

After I saw my cousin's wedding, I decided I would need to chill. I just decided to concentrate on looking dazzling and being with my new husband, not on whether or not the appetizers were prepared correctly and the cake was distributed to the right people at the right time. It was more important to me to be relaxed, gorgeous, and surrounded by the people that I love.

So I got to pick where the wedding was, the dates, and the general style of the event and the general style of my clothes. I spoke up about the stuff that really mattered to me. The rest I left up to my parents, his parents, and other close relatives. It wasn't easy since I'm a type-A control freak. But I would relax and realize someone else was in charge of all this stuff, and learn to breath calmly.

I think it's fine to have decide important details, but you have to realize that life doesn't always go by your demands, so you need to prioritize. Make sure people follow through on the stuff that really matters to you, and let the rest of it go.

And yes, the bride is the one that gets all the attention, no matter what anyone else wears and how they look. So don't worry if someone wants to wear their wedding clothes to your event -- they will look nice and appropriate, but that doesn't mean you're sharing the focus with anyone other than your husband.

lublyjubly · May 12, 2007, 4:02pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

muzna please refrain from patronising me... and i have no more to say on this topic, you are free to go on and on and on and on and on until your heart is content.

Muzna · May 14, 2007, 1:22pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

me? patronising you?
seriously...that's just a little bit of the "pot calling the kettle black".

mirzajamila · May 14, 2007, 1:26pm

Re: Who's the Bride???

Hey Muzna, how ru? did you've a big wedding & were you the center of attrection? where most of the brides gets all the attention, as I was in one wedding where people were also looking for a newly wedded married bride who also dressed like a bride. (got married about a month ago.)

phooljari786 · May 15, 2007, 11:40pm

Re: Who’s the Bride???

1st test...Pak Vs India at Mohali

Okay…I said to myself that I wouldn’t bring this up again after Mrs. Shikra’s thread about what to wear to a western wedding…but then I went to the Bridal Pics thread and found the subject being discussed there as well. So I thought let’s just have it out…

Okay…so based on my knowledge of culture and tradition I can confirm for you that it is considered perfectly okay to wear your own wedding or valima outfit to the wedding of your siblings or closest family members.

Most of the folks in the middle-class income category do not spend thousands of rupees on an outfit to pack it away in a nice window box from the dry-cleaners in hopes of having their daughter or grand-daughter do them the honor of selecting to alter it and wear it to her own wedding.

I guess we are a more practical bunch and feel that an outfit THAT expensive deserves another round or two. My wedding was taking place just before my eldest BIL’s and I purposely asked for a lehnga in a colour other than red so that I could wear it to the event and also wear it to other weddings without being accused of competing or taking the limelight from the bride. Yes, I planned and kept cost in mind. I’m proud of it.

I have now worn my wedding lehnga a total of four times in seven years (without repeating it in the same social circle, of course)…and yes, it is extremely extravagant when it comes to embroidery. In fact, I have now decided to alter the outfit so that I can wear it yet again! But 3 of the four times I have not worn the dupatta on my head and this has distinguished me from the bride. (Actually I have toned down on the jewellery each time too, so that has been another distinction.)

I also believe that no matter what her outfit…no matter what her jewellery…regardless of whether it is heavy or light, a dulhan is always the most beautiful woman in the room; she has a glow of happiness and innocence, the glitter of glamour…it comes from inside her and cannot be hidden. So nobody can compete…no matter what they do.

Ultimately what I am trying to say is that there is enough waste in this world with regards to money. Enough people go without clothing. How can we justify buying an outfit for thousands of dollars or rupees and then putting it away? I certainly cannot.

Furthermore, nothing pleases me more than to see someone that has gone full out to dress for an event that I am hosting. It shows me that they have made an effort and have honored me with the time that went into planning what to wear and getting ready.

So any of you coming to events that I am hosting…please DO wear your wedding outfits…AND the jewellery…go ahead, wear the teeka and the jhoomer…I’m sure you will look lovely and I will be delighted to see you all decked out!!!

Live a little folks…and make some room in your hearts.

OMG!!! I totally agree with every single thing you said. I would never want to waste money on my bridal outfit just to wear it one day and then keep it pristine in a box in my closet for it to never see they light of day again. One should wear their wedding dress again but only to their siblings wedding or a close relative. Also, they should never outdo or overpower the bride. If I get married then I will consider wearing my outfit to my brother or cousins wedding BUT..will def tone down on the jewelery and makeup. Theres alot of other things I agree with you on such as…everything you wrote, qoute by quote..lol but its soo true..