Who's fault?

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AoA

One day your kid tells you that I don’t want to go to school anymore. The reason your kid gives you that some other kids (students) at school just beat him. You inform this incident either to class teacher or principal who assure to take this matter to the Board Management and will inform you accordingly.

My question is that why other kids behave (beat others) such way? Is it because lack of teaching manners and respect others due to parents or school teachers or bad Management of a school who failed to teach good conduct and respect others in kids (students)?

Who’s faulty here? Please share your opinion.

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Re: Who's fault?

:(

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Re: Who's fault?

What shall I assume from this face?

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Re: Who's fault?

A good place to start would be to talk with the bullies' parents.
It usually starts from home.

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Re: Who's fault?

Not when bullies' parents going to take side of their own kidz.

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Re: Who's fault?

it's school's responsibility to provide safety N security for all it's students and staff...the 'bully' must be suspended by the school immediately and then sort the matter out with the bully's parents.

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Re: Who's fault?

I don't know what to say, my kids aren't in school yet. These sort of things about schools really frighten me.

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Re: Who's fault?

Does said child get hurt every single day or on a regular basis by the same child/ren? If so, then yes that is bullying and I would take it very seriously, I would contact the teachers and head teacher until something gets sorted, quickly. Take it to the school governers too, parents forum...basically do not stop harassing them until your child feels safe.

If it was a one off incident, then unfortunately that is not classed as 'bullying' and the school may not take it as seriously.

I have taught 3-7 year olds over a number of years and at least 25 of my class of 30 children will hit/hurt other children, not daily, mainly one off incidents as they are children...I don't mean that as an excuse. Sometimes when children get upset or angry they don't know how to react so it's easier to just hurt another child. Sometimes it's an accident, sometimes it's intentional as they don't know how else to react or channel their anger/feelings, and sometimes they just do it because they can. That doesn't make them 'bad' children, they just cross the boundaries, as children do with everything, not just hitting. I sometimes think that parents don't realise that there are up to 30 children in my class and yes we have class rules and school rules, but 30 children in one classroom, incidents will occur. That doesn't mean the teacher isn't aware of it and isn't trying to stop it from happening.

Just last week I had to deal with a 'bullying' complaint. A 6 year old child 'strangled' a 9 year old girl. The 9 year old girl asked him to chase her around the playground, he caught her by the neck, she didnt ask him to stop, she didn't say she didn't like it, so the 6 year old child continued to chase her and catch her in that way. The 9 year old went home and told her mother that she was 'strangled' at school today. Her mother sent an email to the head teacher saying her child had been 'bullied' and wanted action.

I spoke to both children involved, the 6 year old said he did catch her by the neck once and understood that it was wrong, but he didn't realise it was wrong at the time as the girl was not asking him to stop, in fact, she admitted to saying that she liked it! So the 6 year old is getting the message that it's fine to catch somebody by the neck. The 9 year old admitted to playing this type of game with this child before and she did in fact like being caught by the 6 year old. She realised she should have asked him to stop and/or tell a teacher if he continued to do so. Before the 9 year old got her mother involved, the class teacher had no idea what was going on.

Most children this young think the playground is separate from the classroom, therefor don't bother telliing the teacher what happens at playtime and lunchtime.

As I have a very special class this year, I try to make sure I am on duty at least 3 times a week (we have a rota for 1 duty a week) and I also go outside duing lunchtime playtime as that is 45 mins long and my specials can do a lot in 45 minutes! I even take my notepad with me and pretend to write notes so that when we get back to class and I ask them how their playtime was I can 'check' my notes to see if they are telling the truth! Very sly I know, but my kids are really that special!

Oh dear, this is a long post.

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Re: Who's fault?

^Agree with Milly. I found out from a parent a few weeks ago that two of my students were having issues. I taught the same class in 5th grade last year....and because I taught them all the subjects and was with them the whole day...I could see the issues a bit better. Now this group is in middle school...and I see them for one period and they move on to another class...so I have no idea what goes on in between classes. One of them had a gash on his palm and his mother told me that the other kid had inflicted it. I had no clue...kids never told me. They behave in my class...heck they don't even talk to one another. Also, when kids go home...I've found that they often only tell one side of the story. They may not share all the details. For example...the kids might complain that "S" hit them....but may not share that they provoked him...instigated the teasing, etc.

No, I'm not saying that your child has definitely done something wrong as well. But it's another point to consider....because the matter cannot be so simplified into "the school faculty was careless." I don't know if you're a teacher....but I think most of them care about these issues. I know I do. I've given many a lecture (even in conjunction with other teachers) about bullying. Heck I even take it seriously when kids (who are not my students) come to me with bullying complaints. But just as a parent cannot keep an eye out for every single thing that goes on....it's the same with school faculty. You try your best to be vigilant...but it's impossible to see everything. Bullying is often done in a sneaky, under the table way. The boys' bathroom (in my school) often has bullying incidents....but being a female..I can't go in there. Last year one of my students kicked another student when I let him get a drink from the water fountain. I was teaching class as were many other teachers on that floor. How was I to see this? And, yes, there is a character education program at school....at many schools.

Again, it's not so easy as to blame one person or thing. Perhaps it's the result of ineffective parenting....or provocation....and often times it's a sign of deep rooted insecurity. A studnet feels insecure and seeks to build himself up by bringing others down.

The student that I talked about earlier...he has anger management problems that are partly due to fetal alcohol syndrome. His dad tries his best with discipline, etc. So, with him...it's related to a disability. Sometimes he'll pick on others because he's insecure that he has "less" than they have....and it may have nothing to do with the way he's being raised....but his own perceptions. I have another student who can be aggressive due to her austism.

Unfortunately, in the real world....there are bullies. There are even adult bullies, in the form of family members, coworkers, and aunties and uncles, lol. Sometimes our kids will be on the receiving end of the bullying and other times they will enage in bullying themselves. I'm not trying to justify the behavior. It is important to teach children why it's wrong, how to recognize the different types of bullying, and what actions they can take when confronted with it. It's good that you let the school administration know and they can look into the matter.

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Re: Who's fault?

Well that's really a hot topic, and want a lot of consideration..... You can't directly make school management and teachers responsible for such offense. The first school of a child is its own home, and the parents and the surrounding people are the teachers. If your child is growing in a well mannered and behaved environment then I don't think that you have to face such situations. I like the answer about the suspension of the Bully, and then settle the whole matter with bully's parents......

spam deleted

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Re: Who's fault?

there are some kids who are naughty but appear as "masoom"...so they irritate other kids and when the other kids get angry, they beat them>>consider this scenario
All over it's not anyone's fault...kids just needs attention and discipline from parent, teacher and other colleagues

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Re: Who’s fault?

Bad behaviour of children is 100% down to the parents. Some parents just think school and teachers are some kind of ‘Behaviour Correcting Institutes’. They are not!
Some people just don’t deserve to become parents and its these people whose children are monsters even at the age of 3! Its unfortunate that the well behaved kids and the poor teachers have to put up with these would-be chavs! :grumpy:

I wish in England atleast they would re introduce Grammar schools and special schools…so that all the well behaved, intelligent kids don’t have to put up with the nonsense and the trouble makers get proper supervision in special schools!

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Re: Who's fault?

Are you suggesting that 'intelligent' children do not behave badly?

Oh dear...this is a whole new can of worms.

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Maybe some intelligent children do behave badly, but I'm sure there is some correlation between good behaviour and a studious child...

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^^ studious child is not necessary an intelligent child. Is there any research that supports such claim?

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**i dunno about any studies done on this issue but i can tell you one thing from my personal experience in my own home.

my niece was very bright during her student years. my Bro and Bhabhi would be after her 24/7 because she would hardly study. her grades were extra ordinarily good. she succeeded with minimal study time. she used to say that she has photographic memory and doesn't need to study too much. mA, she is a doctor today.

on the other hand, my nephew is NOT as bright as her sister but he compensates that hard work. he studies for far more hours and achieves better grades than his sister. he is preparing to become the Avian Veterinary Doctor while his parents want him to be a neurosurgeon. lol.

YES, intelligence can be compensated with hard work!**

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Re: Who's fault?

I have some well-behaved students....who rarely if ever get into trouble. But they put little effort in their assignments...and thus are not studious.

Maybe what you meant was that a student with an all-round concsientious nature....tends to be more mindful not only about academics, but behavior as well.

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Re: Who's fault?

I agree to an extent. One can certainly develop their knowledge and skills through hard work. In the field of education there is a difference between a kid who is intellectually gifted and one who is bright. With the latter, they have to work hard to stay at a target level or above. With the former...it comes more easily/naturally.

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Re: Who's fault?

  1. A child's behavior is a reflection of the style of discipline at home.
  2. You deal with it by being a mature parent and discussing it with the right people.
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Re: Who's fault?

Yes thats what I meant, I don't think anyone can dispute the fact that there is a strong link between good behaviour and academic achievement. There are hundreds of studies which prove this.