Whom would you like to marry ?

Both of them are more or less equal and of the same level in terms of talent, built, professionalism, hard working, cooperative, good communication, manners, kindness, humbleness…etc. The difference between them is only in the following areas:

Option A: Tries his level best to follow the lifestyle and appearance of your favorite actor/singer, which means he is clean shaved and follows the same dressing that you think is hot and cute. He is passionate about music, and usually sings your favorite songs in the most beautiful voice. He can dance like your favorite actor. Also likes your favorite movies and dramas and always share thought provoking and interesting comments related to them. Loves to go to any mix gatherings you would like him to go with you. Would love the home decoration the way you love. Is happy with the lifestyle that suits you irrespective of what his belief demands. In short, worships whatever makes you happy even if it is against his beliefs.

Option B: Without imposing anything on you, tries his level best to follow the lifestyle and appearance of Prophet Muhammad (saw), which means he has a beard, his head is covered and his dress is very close to that of the Prophet (saw), as proved and agreed upon by all sects. He doesn’t listen to music, because the Prophet (saw) didn’t enjoy it despite of it being common in his time. Won’t watch most of the present TV channels, because almost impossible to watch anything without letting impurity enter your eyes or ears. Instead he utilizes that time in reading Quran. Doesn’t know how to sing or dance but can recite Quran and naats in beautiful voice. Won’t go to mix gatherings because the Prophet (saw) never encouraged it. Loves to please you and agree with you on any matter except what is against your mutual ‘belief system’. Wouldn’t be very much pleased to have hand made pictures in the house or any statue in the name of ‘decoration piece’, because such things were there in the time of the prophet (saw) but he never liked it or encouraged it. Tries to live the simple lifestyle of the Prophet (saw), with simple diet, and a lot of time spent in zikr, ibadat (even at midnight) and preaching of good deeds. In short, worships whatever he thinks makes Allah (swt) and the prophet (saw) happy, even if at times it is against your personal taste.

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

why not get a mix of both ... someone who does all the worships and everything but maybe shaves and dresses how people dress in watever part of the world he cares to live ... cuz i'm pretty sure Prophet(SAW) dressed appropriately to his environment. Doesn't watch tv much but watches documenteries and knowledgeable programs and sports and news to keep upto date ... doesn't offer tons of prayers but maybe does alot of good deed i.e. helping the needy volunteer work at hospital and shelters etc. ... doesn't encourage mix gatherings but if invited to one then tries to go to make people around him happy and does not make mean comments about the host and decorates the home in a way thats decent with no statues but maybe some prints of cities or watever else ...

nothing is ever black and white and there are shades of gray taht you gotta consider ... i hope i make sense

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

Can I marry you?

:kiss:

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

thats not me ... lol

Agree with Libranrulz...there can be shades of gray. Also, the Prophet SAWS encouraged moderation...staying in the middle path. Judgment is complex...nobody knows what their outcome will be. So you do your best and leave the judging to Allah. At the same time, guidance (while it's a good thing)....if not done right.....can backfire.

I don't understand what one would gain from knowing whether the people on here would pick option A or option B. How will someone's decision to marry option A (which is unrealistic)......option B........option in-between......or option z......affect you? The thing is....it doesn't...and it won't. It has more of an impact on the individuals in the relationship.

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

Shehnaz Sheikh for me.

please.

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

i want to marry a robot! :rotato:

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

option B it is a girl ofcourse lol

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

The world isn't just black and white you know...

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

A.

B is super boring and lame.

Didn't know you swing that way. LOL

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

LOL

Yes there no black and white in the world but one can try and make sure your as close to the one you feel is more for you.

Even grey comes in many shade no? As does white and black and the colour good be met or matt or silk?

Obviously i’ve spent to long mixing paint in my life :hayaa:

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

or which ones the prettier one and/or who is more rich

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

Option B.

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

Hello everyone! I am new to this web site and have posted my opinion on a few of the threads. I am currently learning Pashto and planning a trip to Pakistan in October for my wedding. I have a question for anyone who can answer it, and if there is a more appropriate place for me to post, then please let me know ok?

I have a husband (soon to be anyway) and am apply for his visa to come to the US. He is so worried saying that he does not think the US will apporve any Pakistani's visa any more. Has anyone ever ealt with an issue like this?

I am just wondering so I can give him some pease of mind about this topic. The way I see it, if we provide all the required paperwork, and he is passed through security, (homeland secutiry) then what can be other then for them to approve and let him come to me here to live. Is this the correct frame of mind to have? Or am I living in a dream world?

THanks!

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

B

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

and by the way....rich would beat pretty every time i think!

I think that both examples are unrealistic and extemish.

It is the norm of this day and enviroment to be clean shaven, adopting shirt, trousers and shoes.
And within this dress and as any other norm, appears certain changes, tastes and modifications from time to time, such as shirts into t-shirts, trousers into baggies or jeans, and shoes into trainers or sneakers.

Therefore, supporting such get-ups is not necceserily about following any particular person, rather is more about adopting the norm of the enviroment established.
The dress code is also inside the Islamic boundary of 'haya' for a man therefore acceptable.

Regarding the clean shavenness, I belive everybody has the right to look how they wish to long as along as it is not obscene or offensive. Some people do not feel comfortable with a beard, some feel they look unattractive, in many cases it is a neccesity.

In the light of the present day and western enviroment dress code, I belive people who have this attire are brought up or accustomed to it as opposed to following a celebrity or idol.
Also Islam advises, if allah has given you a blessing to wear it and make use of it. Therefore if Allah has given you money or ability to dress comfortably you should.

Regarding the appearance of the Prophet (saw) it is a sunnath, and like any other sunnath it is preferable to follow it. We should note the word 'sunnath' only menas preferable as opposed to mandatory or obligatory (Farz).
Therefore Islamically, one is not critizied or less blessed if he does not follow the sunnah attire.
The wisdom of the apperance of the Prophet being only sunnah and not farz can be seen clearly through ocassions and enviroments that alternate dresses are more appropriate or neccesary.

Additionally:

The Prophet (saw) advises 'Balance'.

The Prophet (saw) said 'to not be extremist in deen'

The Prophet(saw) also said 'you can not be perfect'

Also, if one sincerely wants to be a good muslim or follower of the Prophet pbuh), then it is more advisable and proper for him to give more and first importance to the farz. As such a person should be more judgleble from his observance or non-observance from the more important acts.

Also:

To have a pure heart is more important that of the outward act.
There have been and always will be those that demonstrate religious piety but are inside the opposite.
There have and always have been those that demonstrate less religious actions but have purer hearts.

The People that display only outward acts are called Hypocrites, who are destined for worst punishments.
In the time of the Prophet the kafirs also used to have the same attire as the Prophet (pbuh); the hypcocrites also used to do zikr, speak and emphaize on islamic things.

Also worship of Allah is not only in doing religous deeds but also in being a good human being and a good example for others::

-Earning halal sustenance is also a big worship
-Putting to safety or rescuing an injured animal from the roadpath is also worship
-showing a lost stranger his path is also worship
-loving and protecting your wife and your family is also a worship
-being friendly with your neighbour irregardless his faith is also worship
-paying your taxes and abiding by the law of your country is also a worship
-studying or training in order to advance your career and prospects of helping yourself and family is also a form of worship.

Back to O.P question, if i were a female and had a choice between A and B, granted A was deficient in the outwardly traits of the prophet (pbuh) and some other observances, but more efficient in the farz and above traits of a good human.

  • I would go for A anytime.

If the case was reversed and put forward for a girl, where it could be argued the girl does not observe hijab. Inspite hijab being more than just sunnath for women, I would go for the non-hijabi A, because a girls hijab is not only the veil of the face but also the heart.
Once again- It does not make a person a better muslim just by outward acts or apperance.
No one is perfect. And no one can abstain from commitiing occasional or minor sins.
And sinning occasionally does not mean you are defiant.
Also some deeds are not also not Islamically classed as sins or haram, but are classed as 'dispreferred' , 'disliked', preferred or liked. Commiting or omitting any these is not of great importance.
The dress code of the prophet (saw) is a sunnath i.e liked act, and therefore not as important as other traits to be assessed in marriage prospects.

:)

With all respect to O.P, once again both your examples are unrealistic, given the premise is the same.

The second one especially implies a perfect human being, which practically does not exist.

Re: Whom would you like to marry ?

This is similar to a thread I posted a few weeks ago :aq:

haaahaa ! I meant for a girl :P