okay, seems like a lot of you girls have a problem with choice B mainly b/c he seems controlling.
now here are few questions
What if a man tells you to dress according to Islam, is that wrong?
in order words, you want to show cleavage, sleeveless, tight ass clothes, does he have any right to question you?
what if you want to hang out with male friends, according to Islam, it's forbidden. Can he question you?
if you want to stay out late, partying, clubbing etc?
depends, if islam is only in the way of clothing of women hmmmmmmmm
and some things obviously can be changed if ur comfortable with it, same goes for him..
i think its hard to give a REAL opinion on this unless ur in a relationship. we all say things before we have a relationship, but seriously a lot of things change with time, age and relation ;)
A is a total no no!!. It goes against my every principle in life, and i do not want to spend my life in the hope that he might change his ways, and then risk my kids having a drunkard, benamaaz, for a father. His looks and ‘open mindedness’ are pretty insigficant, compared to his ‘issues’ here.
I would choose B, mainly because being humble are not known to be imposing or governing in that sort of way, they are ususal open to compromise.
…and possibly C, if he can compromise on the long beard/clothing issues. I have no problems with abayas, but imposing is the issue here.
These options say more about the person who wrote them than about the people they represent. I knew that you would choose A, because the style of his good traits were listed first and his bad traits were written with lesser impact. The person B had good traits that were not focussed on his description and rather his description focussed on his bad traits.
To write never had a gf compared with has had a gf in the past, shows that you don’t mind it. If you did mind it, then you would have written for B - one woman man, and for A likes his women, for example.
To say “you find his voice very annoying” sets the mood that the readers of this description need to make about the person.
Governs what you wear vs wouldn’t govern what you wear could have been written as contributes to your overall look trying to make you feel comfortable, safe and elegant vs doesn’t care about what you wear. So the description was a give away about who you would choose.
This thread has actually told everyone what you like in men and what you would tolerate and what you would not tolerate.
On a broader issue everything is about perception. I am pro-marriage and always encourage single adults to be married. Look for positive slants to all traits and ask yourself why they might be doing something rather than simply they are doing so and so and I don’t want that. The same action can be vastly different on perceptions.
For example, the person who drinks is either a slave to societal norms or a slave to his desire, he may have good traits, but drinking is a trait that contradicts this overall good character. Good character is about controlling ones own desire for the benefit of others and for sure drinkers do drink for their own pleasures. At what stage will a person prepare to forsake the chance of their other half derailing after 5-6 years of marriage? That is why perhaps these days more educated, more attractive women find it hard to get married.
Be prepared to compromise towards ‘good, ethical traits’ rather than selfish material, glitzy traits’ as someone said earlier they wane in time and so will our own.
I would choose second option. Namaz is an important factor.. who cares about voice... if they are nice and loving to you, then these little things become minor and you can ignore them..and about governing what you wear.. that can be changed thru time too with some love and sweet talk.. lol