I am planning to wear 1 heavy gold set given by my parents on my wedding day . I have 2 very light sets too plus bangles I was wondering that if these light sets and bangles have to be handed over to my MIL ? many girls tell me that my mom shd hand over to her and some tell me not to …what shd be done ? I dont think it shd be handed over to anyone if it belongs to me.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
yes,i think it shouldn't be handed over to anyone.you should keep them with you.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
You should keep them, unless it is not possible.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
yup it should be kept with u thats what i did cuz u never know how she is so its better to keep it to ur self
one of my friend said to me that if i dont handover a certain amount of jewellery it will show mistrust and disrespect towards them anyhow I agree with u all that I should keep it !
I am already very worried about my Jahaiz items too as those shall be transported to the house 3-4 days before the wedding and they can do whatever they want. My fiance has told me that he will lock the bed room but rest of the things will be lying open. My friends tell me that they are going to unpack my jahaiz and display it and I am simply so much against it !
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
keep your jewellery with you unless your husband or your MIL asks you to hand over to your MIL. I would advise to keep your mom's side jewellery other than the wedding set at your mom's place. if someone asks, tell them it is in bank and you couldnt pick it in the hassle of the wedding. keep it there for a week or two atleast-meanwhile you will have an idea if they ask to hand over theeir side of jewellery (bari) to MIL or not.
you cant do anything abt the rest of the jahaiz. my in-laws live in another city while hubby lives here in lahore. my jahaiz was sent directly here where i was supposed to use it. i got to know stories from hubby's cousins and dewrani that MIL minded it but since she never talked to me directly abt it or to my mom, i didnt get bothered abt what she thought.
for my SIL, my MIL showed each and every thing in jahaiz to her nand who came to pick the jahaiz and gave her a list of things.she locked the stuff and they transported it to their place. i suppose this varies from family to family.but for the jewellery, MIL took my suggestion of not giving her the jewellery at rukhsati. and while i was being sincere to advise her, she was like 'challako...apni bhi nahin layee thi na saath iss liay' :D and i was like...apki beti ko tau sahee mashwara day rahi hoon na. LOL it was all in a light mood though.
best of luck :)
I am planning to wear 1 heavy gold set given by my parents on my wedding day . I have 2 very light sets too plus bangles I was wondering that if these light sets and bangles have to be handed over to my MIL ? many girls tell me that my mom shd hand over to her and some tell me not to ....what shd be done ? I dont think it shd be handed over to anyone if it belongs to me.
Diamond, whilst I don't think that any MIL has the right to take your jewellery I think this is all about safe keeping of your precious assets. Normally the lady of the house stores all the jewelery in one safe place. Your options are to (1) keep it all to yourself (but then risk loosing or misplacing it) (2) Keep it at your mom's house (3) Put it in the bank before the wedding (but you might need that jewellery straight after the wedding) (4) Ask your MIL if she can 'look after' your jewellery.
I would advise you do this after a few days after judging how you feel and how well you are settled in. Otherwise ask your mom/dad and see what they say.
Apart from stated gifts (for example if your mom is giving your MIL Karre or a set as a wedding gift) you don't have to 'gift' the MIL anything from your own gold. I think it's more to do with the Hifazat of your gold. Also, might be a good idea to ask your hubby to be if there is a family safe where you can store your gold? Or if you want to put it in the bank, open an account before the wedding and keep it stored there.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
yes traditionally your mum should give it to ur mil and ur mil will give it to u next morning ...im sure she is nt going to keep it forever!!
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
**Let me tell you what I should do..
Like we (me and my hubby) would soon move to the other country right after shadi... and I am NOT of the type to wear even light jewleery sets there....
So I'd keep my rings and bracelets with me... and for rest of the sets, I'd ask my hubby, what to do? Most probably men don't know about such things... then I'd go to my SIL and ask her what to do... lets see what she says...
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
This is the first time i am hearing that jewelery needs to be passed on to the MIL. Maybe its something practised in some places only?
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
while we were on honeymoon i left all my cash + jewlery with my MIL. there was no thought of “mistrust” there. But, generally i’d keep my own stuff cz i like to see it and play wiht it whenever i want 
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
I've heard of brides having to give jewelry to their MIL's but thts a tradition tht from a veryyy looonggg time ago when their were no safe deposit boxes and women didnt have a secure place to put their gold so they gave to MIL's to keep it in the safe deposit boxes tht was inside the home and obvioulsy the MIL's only knew about it. However, today i dont think nor do i have heard of the DIL giving the jewelry to thier MIL's and I stronlgy suggest tht you keep ur jewelry to urself if anything give ur jewelry to ur mom to hold for u until u find a secure place to put it DO NOT TAKE A RISK OF GIVING IT TO ANYONE besides keeping to it urself or letting ur mom hold it. the gold is a woman's security and are gifts given to u by both ur parents and hubby and u should have the freedom to hold onto them urself or do wutever u like bc they are YOURS to keep.
Also if u have a fear that u mite have to hand them over to ur MIL talk to ur hubby or fiance about the situation and that u would like to hold onto them before getting married bc u dont want to have the stress of being uncomfortable after uve gotten married and if u dont think u can talk to ur hubby then have ur mom open a safe deposit box for u before u get married and if something comes up up u just say i already have a safe place to put them and there is no other reason for ur MIL to ask you to hand them over to u besides the fact tht she can put them in a "safe" place for u. All women have to be really smart in a situation like this.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
Open a safe deposit box and keep ur Bari and jahaiz jewelry there. There's no reason to give if to ur mil, it's ur jewelry, keep it with u. If I had a mil that asked me to give her any part of my jewelry I'd think she's a weirdo and I would bluntly say "no" to her request. I font know what ur relationship is like with ur inlaws but if ur that worried about not being able to keep the jewelry, speak to ur mom.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
I have never heard of such a thing .the jewellery belong to bride and she should keep it .jewellery or let's say jaheez is given to daughter as gift so it belong to her .
This is the first time i am hearing that jewelery needs to be passed on to the MIL. Maybe its something practised in some places only?
I've never heard of this before.
But I have to say, what's the big deal? Are you really marrying into a family that you mistrust so much? It's one thing if you were afraid kids would get into your such, but to fear your MIL? What will she do?
I keep my gold jewellry in a locker at the bank. If we're traveling or something, my mom has it or my MIL has it. It's not a big deal.
Sara we did the same. When we went on our honeymoon, i showed my MIL where all the jewelry was kept too (i keep things at home so i can wear whenever i want). It just didnt occur to me to do otherwise. Now i cannot remember what happened on my wedding day or how i brought it to my husband’s house but i dont think my ammi gave it to MIL. Mostly becuz they were staying in a hotel and our place was much safer.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
Diamond .. if you have to give your stuff to your in
laws and you don't really trust them, i would suggest
that you, make a list of all the things that you will be
giving to them like your jahez stuff and your gold and,
give your mil a copy of the list and keep a copy for
yourself. that way you will know if anything goes
missing or whatever .. or you could just say no to
your mil and not give her anything .. which is what
i would do as she has no right to take away your stuff!
^thats really rude though, her mother in law would probably be offended and she's better off not giving her the jewelery at all than giving it to her with a checklist of everything. I think if her mother in law is smart, she'll count the jewelery herself in front of her daughter in law and make a checklist.
Ive never heard of the mother in law expecting to keep the jewelery, I think if she does keep it, its to protect it. When my cousin got married, his wife gave the jewelery to my aunt for safekeeping, and eventually, his wife's mother went to my aunt and said that my cousin's wife will put it in a safe deposit box so she can learn responsibility. Although I think it was fine, my khalah almost seemed offended that she took it back, maybe thinking that her daughter in law didnt trust her or something? i dont know...
I have heard of the expectation that all the money you get in gifts from your wedding goes to your parents and in laws since they paid for everything in the first place.
Re: Who will keep my gold jewellery?
^ thts why u should keep ur jewerly with u there may be several reasons which can make the situation uncomfy for both the mil and dil if the dil gives the jewelry to mil and later asks for all of it back bc now she has a safe place to keep it then the mil gets offended or if the couple moves to a diff. location and then the dil asks its still will offend the mil and tension arises between both of them and it shouldnt b like tht the issue here is not tht u cant trust ur mil the issue is its ur jewelry u should be resposible for it ure old enough to get married so ure old enuff to be responsible to look after ur own things u shouldnt have someone look after them as if ure not mature enough on ur own.
There was once a situation with where the mil held the jewelry for the dil and had a robbery and the mil ended up taking the blame the desi mantality came into play and ppl thought it was a premeditated robbery by the mil which to me is a bunch of bs not everyone is tht crazy enuff to steel their sons wifes jewelry but there are very few ppl who are crazy enuff to do tht so ppl have to be responsible to take care of thier own stuff dont make it another person job to look after ur things and even if a mil is nice enuff to offer u the assistance of looking after ur stuff maybe shes just being polite and doesnt want to known as the person who didnt even offer to keep the jewelry so just kindly say i have a safe place to put it and put it in the safe deposit box and thts tht.
on second thoughts it would be kinda rude if she didnt really know her mil that well. however if she knew her mil before the wedding and spoke to her about it, her mil probably wouldn't have a problem with it .. im sure her mil will not automatically assume omg my dil thinks im gonna nick her stuff thats why shes making a list lol i think if you have a good relationship with the mil and if you want to maintain it, then there shouldn't be any mistrust or negative thinking and vice versa. just my thoughts.