anil, you were a student, once, right? now let me tell you a little story. this is of my friend's cousin. she taught at an all boys school. and she told her cousin the amount of harrassment she faced at the hands of these hormone filled boys.
at the same time, there isn't a good-looking teacher who is immune to crushes from students around her. i don't know about the teacher-teacher crushes. even to this day my friends and i can't help but mention the hot lookin prof in out lectures.
so my point is...how can you say, as a guarantee that teaching is saaf suthra? man...this from someone who is in the west and probably has seen it all.
Secondly, yep there are hormone filled teenagers (I was one and still am ) but I was thinking more along the lines of a kindgergarden or grades 1-4 teacher.
NOt sure if it’s true over here, but in 3rd world nations, women are better equipped to handle money since they will first and foremost spend it on their families, whereas men will go spend the money on drinking or cigarettes or gambling or other vices.
This whole argument/topic is very cultural and takes much consideration. For example, when you live in desi land, the role of the husband and the role of the wife are defined very differently than if you live in the west. In desi land, wife stays home (preferably or popularly) and husband works, there is household help and family nearby. Workweeks are not overly long.
In the west, (typically), there isnt family all too nearby, workweeks are very long, vacation time is short, many families require 2 incomes to get by, household help is impossibly expensive, houses are small with 1 or (maybe 2) bathrooms.
In desiland, husbands do not get involved in any way with the running of the household. In the west its a requirement that they pitch in even if the wife does not work outside the home. Life in the west truly requires a partnership in the marriage where the 2 work together to make a happy home. Life in desiland can be more like life was over here in the 1950's.
Anyway, my point is that many desis look at the successful "western" husbands as not wearing the pants in the family without regard to the cultural differences....its silly really. My husband has been called (some Urdu name I cant remember) just because he helps out around the house and because we share in the decisions of finance, what cars to buy, how much to spend on what. He is not averse to putting in a load of laundry when I've had a hard day of taking care of the 3 littles. They do make fun of him, those idiots who have servants to do everything for them except wipe their butts.
My man is a MAN and he wears the pants but not in the eyes of the desis. I am most happy and lucky to be the stay at home mom but that doesnt mean that I can keep the house going without his help. So its all a matter of perspective I think. I like a "man's man", a very strong man and thats what I have...but in the eyes of some of these pampered desi men, he doesnt wear the pants, they think he's wimpy I guess for not demanding that things be more desi-like while they live their lives being pampered by servants.
Anil,
Perhaps there are many people who get married at 20. I don't know any so I can't offer an opinion.
I can only speak of what I have seen.....and if your views are really as narrow as you express in this forum, then I predict trouble ahead.
Anyway, Anil Khan has very simplistic views about life, wife and other related topics. Only problem is that either his geography is wrong (he should have been born in the jungles of Africa or the mountains of some really backward village of Afghanistan) or he is in the wrong century (may be if he was born about 200 years ago, he'd fit right in). I wouldn't worry too much about him, though. Assuming he succeeds in his life long dream of marrying a beauty from Hunza, we all know who will wear pants in his house.
Considering Anil's experiences, I don't think there is anything outrageous about his thought process. This is a 'standard' upbringing of a Pakistani boy. The roles of men and women are instilled in us at an early age. Along with the cultural roles, boys are also fed the religious perspective. It is not surprising at all to see that young boys find it hard to embrace the change and disregard everything they have heard and seen.
Times have changed though. The roles of men and women are not what they were 50 years ago. It takes a mutual effort of husband and wife in all aspects of life to run a family. The next generation, most of whom will see both their mothers and fathers working in the field, might have a different perspective on the whole idea of 'who wears the pants'.
Thats the way to put it… “kisee ke” (read: husband) kee dil-aazaree bhee na ho aur sach bhee bol deya jayee
As far as working women is concerned, i guess we should leave it on wife to decide, if she want to work or not. I dont have any problem, in fact i m going to encourage her to work and dont get rusty at home…
Muzna Apa, you really have it in for me don't you? :D
You call my views narrow, and I call them traditional. The remarkable thing is even though I've grown up in the west, my thinking is more traditional than some of the Pakistani's back home (alhumdullilah).
Listen, I'm not saying we should lock up all ladies in the house or when they are outside they should be covered from head to toe with only their eyes peeking out. I'm not of the Taliban mentality. But what I do want is a wife who goes out in plain shalwar kameez (if we're in Pk) or very decent/loose pants and shirt here in the west. She can go shopping (groceries or clothes), talk to friends on the phone or meet with them some place, or I can take her out some place. But the idea of work, I don't like. She can only work if, Allah na karay, my salary doesn't cover all the expenses.
Also apa, you like to think that I'm immature because of my age but my thinking is along the lines of MOST of the Pakistani people back home and to a certain degree, those in the west.
) but I was thinking more along the lines of a kindgergarden or grades 1-4 teacher.
and if we didn’t you guys would end up complaining that we’re fat or ugly or let ourselves go 
And theres nothing you can do about it because I have an army of followers:D