who should i pick for marriage??

Lifestyle Relationships
1

i realy need sm help .. im in a very situation .. i have 3 guys in my life..
the first guy .. im in luv with but he doesnt luv me bck atleast not anymor
the second guy is gd friend but i have no feelins for him n cant c him as a lyf partner
the third guy is non muslim .. who is willing to change religion to marry me
i was only serious about the first 1 but unfortunatly due to some misunderstandin we broke up n now he wont speak to me
as for the othr two guys they both know they r jus my friends in my eyes but both r equaly wanting to commit to me..
what should i do ? should i forget about the guy i loved …
or should i chose between the other 2..
HELP!!

2

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Forget the first guy.
Seriously consider what the pros and cons would be for marrying the second guy. Why can't you see him as a life partner?
And as for the third one, is he changing his religion just to marry you or because he is wanting to revert and have islam (am assuming its islam) as part of his life? I guess this question also depends on how religious you are and how religious you want your future partner to be.

3

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

i am trying to forget about the first 1 but its realy hard as he was and stil is my true love .. if only hed come to his sense my life would be bliss..
i cant be with someone who i could never love and i knw for sure about the second my friend i could never love him ..
the 3 one is mainly changing for me but he did have an interest in islam before me.. and has always in the back of his mind made this decision of marrying an asian girl not a gori

4

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Oiii PCG - learn something from this lass - will ya :D

5

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

None of them.

get over hte first one and then think about committing yourself to another person for the rest of your life.

6

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Does this mean you could see yourself being in love with the third guy? If so, then maybe he's the one you should focus on right now. Get to know him and then see.

7

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

i dont think ill ever get over him.. and i dont want the right guy to slip out of my hands

8

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

the 3 guy is someone i could see myself being with.. but its a major task as hes a non muslim.. dont know how my family would react

9

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

well you're in no shape to be marrying ANY body considering how you still have feelings for someone.

10

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

are the other two guys aware of your feelings towards the first guy?

you dont have to tell them but you are being insincere by having feelings for someone else but approaching another person for marriage. I'd say give it time until you overcome your feelings for guy #1. Don't make anyone a rebound for yourself. it's unfair to them.

Marriage is a huge decision. you can't make it when you are so overwhelmed by emotions and feelings.

11

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Firstly lets keep in mind the number one thing to look at when deciding who to marry ::
Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion (Deen) and character.

After this comes other things such as ;; property, rank, and beauty.

Keep in mind that the purpose of arrange marriage is to find someone that's most "suitable" for you. Its important to have an unbiased view towards the potential future husbands. Best thing to do is to include your parents in your decision.

I think with this in mind, it would be easy to understand that the one who is yet to convert to Islam would probably be the least desirable for marriage. He didn't live a life as a Muslim, and if he isn't wholeheartedly accepting Islam because he believes in it, but instead because he wants to lawfully marry you; then that might make the situation worse.

Marriage is a very sensitive issue, I think personally it would be best for you to let go of the one you loved if he isn't going to respect you now, or give any importance to you, then maybe he doesn't love you the way you do after all.

The second one, your friend seems like the best choice because firstly ; falling in love is not a "pre-condition" for marriage in Islam.

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. Qur'an

So take that love factor out of your mind for now, just look at his lifestyle, his personality and character, and come up with an unbiased opinion about him & if he in fact would make a good husband or not.

If you can, look out side of the circle, and maybe you can find someone more suitable for marriage. Never limit yourself. This is a lifetime commitment. & pray pray prayy!! IF Allah wills, he can make the most difficult thing easy for you, and the easiest thing difficult for you.

Hope I helped!

12

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Err....so the only reason you want to get married is because SOMEONE wants to commit to you (even though you don't feel the same)???

It's pointless to even think about the first guy because he's not interested in you.

And you don't have to marry the other two guys either. You could meet another guy that will be more compatible to you......it might be guy number 4, 10, or 20. It shouldn't be something that you rush into.

Also, if you're still not 100% over the first guy......I think it's better to take a break from any relationships and the idea of marriage until you have. It's not fair to marry someone you're not interested in....you'll end up being miserable yourself and hurting the other person. It seems like you're just to fill some void in your life. Why not try filling that space and time with positive activities? Your life/happiness should not be defined by a guy.

13

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

thnx everyone for all your help... may Allah bless all of you in this blessed month amen..

14

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

How about you NOT commit to anyone right now?

This makes no sense to me…you’re not in love with anyone that is in love with you but you want to marry them? :hmmm:

Why ruin someone else’s life by getting into a relationship you’re not ready for? Whoever you pick right now will be rebound-guy and NO ONE marries rebound-guy.

Take some time off and focus on yourself.

15

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

none of the above if u ask me

oh and ya there is no such thing as true love (in all practical and logical sense)

16

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Go knock your head on the wall. You shouldn't be marrying any of them.

17

3 guys! Lol lucky if I get one.

Lol - get over guy no.1 - guy 2 - no. And in Islam if you reconvert - for someone you are not a true Muslim.

Have feel it in your heart not other organs!

18

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

So you want to jump from one relationship into another? You really need to review your options. Stop thinking about men for a while. Focus on yourself, you need to know what it is 'YOU' want, and not something 'SOMEONE ELSE' wants.

If you don't get over guy number 1, you won't do justice to anyone else who you might end up with. And, it seems to me you've become emotionally attached to him. This isn't love; it's like infatuation. There's a difference between the two; and until you distance yourself, you won't be able to see the bigger picture.

It's about the bigger picture, not the smaller pixels you see right now.

19

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

Are you in a hurry or something?

20

Re: who should i pick for marriage??

marry the one who knows about your past relationship and still accepts you.