In western culture, the parents name the baby whereas in Pakistani society the grandparents name the baby. Now Ive heard that its the boys parents that get to name the baby and the girls parents dont have much of a say. This to me, is really ridiculous. I think at the end of the day, the parents should get to decide what to name their child. In this case, there wont be any hard feelings. How is it done nowadays, and what is the proper way for naming a baby in our culture?
hmmm mostly i've seen its not a fixed rule...any name that everyone likes is cool...
Re: Who names the baby?
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
In western culture, the parents name the baby whereas in Pakistani society the grandparents name the baby. Now Ive heard that its the boys parents that get to name the baby and the girls parents dont have much of a say. This to me, is really ridiculous. I think at the end of the day, the parents should get to decide what to name their child. In this case, there wont be any hard feelings. How is it done nowadays, and what is the proper way for naming a baby in our culture?
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That's not true.
Hamaray haan tou parents have the say. Of course suggestions do come from elders and others too.
Re: Who names the baby?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
in Pakistani society the grandparents name the baby. Now Ive heard that its the boys parents that get to name the baby and the girls parents dont have much of a say. This to me, is really ridiculous.
[/QUOTE]
Mostly, the parents ask for suggestions from all first blood relatives, i-e, nana, nani, dada, dadi, chacha, phuphi, mamoon, khala. After a compilation of the list, the parents choose one to their liking. But in some cases, domineering grandparents can forcefeed a name to their grandkid. Sometimes, maulvis are called upon to name a kid. Sometimes, a precondition is attached that regardless of what name the parents choose, "Muhammad" will be added to it as the first name. For some, it has to be 'Abdul' followed by one of Allahs (SWT) names.
nice topic billi i personally feel it’s the parents joint decision that should count but some times some relatives love to butt in, and that was the case with moi and my siblings my mam wasn’t allowed to name us three 
and the more i think of this the more me head boils in frustration, i mean come on i am my mam’s son an she can’t even name moi
Depends on the names they suggest.
usually moms name their kids in our family.
Hey my Maamu suggested mine :)
^^ My bhanji's mamu suggested hers :p
its a nonissue
It is an issue. Who ever is dying to name a kid can go and have a baby of their own and name it whatever they like. Parents should be able to make the final decision about the name without any pressure from other relatives.
i have yet to come across a couple who has a problem with the name of their child.
I have seen many who would rather have given their child a different name hasn't the sasuraal ppl forced their own choice. I have this moronic cousin who had a daughter. And she really wanted to give her girl a particular name. So I asked what was keeping her and she goes I don;t think I can name her...her daada daadi will choose and so they did! So her mothers family called her by the name of their choice and fathers family by the name of their choice. Totally screwed up on both sides.
having elders of the family name the baby is more of a practise than issue.
certain families (with some history and background) tend to keep a limited set of names and they are repeated. for example, my grandfather gave a cousin, our greatgrandfather's name.
your example is a rarity. the western family structure or lack thereof gives more independence to the parents in taking care of these small issues. while our family structure reserves certain roles (however small they may be) for the heads of the family. another example, look at the names of british royal family, they try to stick with the henrys williams charles and andrews ... its about the family and its values more than anything else.
moreover, indian and recent pakistani dramas have used some very amazing names ... and younger parents can't help but like them. i am sure there'll be quite a few Anushas and Sahils in the near future.
Rainmaker you'd be horribly surprised. What I've seen is more of what Femme Fatale has described. Its a common practise and an accepted tradition, but makes no sense. What Akif has said is ideal, but at the end of the day the bickering surely does take place. Its your child for goodness sake, you should be able to name him/her what you want.
well i sure am surprised. speaking from a cultural point of view, when you call something "common practise" and "accepted tradition", you basically imply that it is not an issue to deal with (for that particular culture).
Akif summed up the "naming in our culture" and didnt suggest an ideal solution. the bickering that takes place at the end of the day isnt about "i dont like what we call our baby" but its more like "my sister suggested such a beautiful name, but your parents had to name him ____". (i would say its more intra-family than anything else). like i mentioned earlier, a lot of it has to do with the society, the status of parents and the respect for them.
as far as "it your baby, name him/her what you want" goes, it should be noted, thats the most common practise everywhere. it is not like grandparents name their grandchildren in most of the families but the occurence is much more common in pakistani society than in american society.
however, given the changing attitudes in pakistani society as of late (the fall of joint family system and immigration), (i foresee old homes being setup 30 years from now lol), naming of babies will be the parents exclusive right in the near future (no you can't even suggest).
I certainly hope so Rainmaker (not sure about the old age homes though). I know that I was named by my grandmother (my parents wanted to name me something else) and my siblings were also named by the grandparents. I think it has to do with respect or something of the sort, and in the case of extended families living together, the practise took place with more regularity. But it still happens nowadays whether we like it or not. All I know is that I dont want Pakistani in-laws.
i decided that if i had a boy, i'd name him abdur-rehman, but my dad said that abdur-rehman is same as abdallah, only abdallah is easier to pronounce and abdur-rehman is by time going to be shortened to just rehman, so consider the change, and i had to agree to him....
i decided that if it was a girl, i'd name her ruqayya, but my wife told my mom and they agreed that they wont let me do it, and my wife suggested rabia or ayesha....
my wife agreed on rabia and hence, thats the final....
expecting my child tomorrow, havent checked for the child's gender so will let ya guys know when he/she is here....
till then pray for my wife and my child....
Congratulations in advance on the new addition armughal. Hope everything goes well for you and your wife.
oh wow Aijaz bhai, let us know of the good news asap! And whether its Abdallah or Rabia :)