In cases where men shy away from their responsibilities to their own family. Like there is a guy who lost his father when he was young, he has 3 younger siblings, their mother raised them, after marriage, he built a house. He did not help his mother for education and marriage of his younger brothers and sisters. His mother still lives with her brother, while the house ths guy built is just a block away from his mamooN’s house, and his mother in law and sil live in his house, though his MIL and SIL have their own house which they have rented.
Based on the just **the information you have provided us with, **it is the son's fault.
Whatever issues the son might have with his own mother and siblings.......he has an obligation to them. He has an obligation to the woman who took pains to raise him without a father.
The daughter-in-law might not like her in-laws, but that's her problem. The son shouldn't be treating his own family as though they are in-laws.
But there are usually two sides to a story. And we don't live with the son or his family. We don't know what kind of upbringing this guy had without a father. I have seen and heard of sons who grew up without a father and faced a harsh upbringing full of emotional and psychological pressures from their mothers. Because of this, the family unit as a whole (not just the son) becomes dysfunctional and the son decides to distance himself from the family.
^ I'm not saying that that's the case with the guy in your post. But i'm just sharing an example of a couple of situations that I've seen and heard of.
Out of the two individuals, the son is at fault based on the information you've given. However it would be interesting to know why the son is treating his mom and siblings like this. What is causing him to abandon his mom and the people he grew up with? It's not easy to abandon your family like that. The bonds of kinship are usually so strong....that it's painful to make the decision to sever those ties. So, something must have happened that has caused the son to behave like this. Something that goes beyond the desi explanation that maybe the daughter-in-law did black magic on him to separate him from his family, LOL.
Apparently, that man is a *******. Responsibility passes on, from father to son. He would be answerable for his responsibilities, and when that happens, he would be one unhappy bugger.
Let me get this straight, he lives in a house not too far from hsi parents. in that house, lives his mother in law and sister in law
what is the problem here, im confused?
is the son's mother sick and dying? benig abused by his brother? not being taken care of? he has abandoned her, ie never sees her?
No, its not the DIL's responsibility. Her responsibility are her own parents and she is taking care of that. Its the son's responsibility to make sure his parents are respected and cared for. If he doesnt give them importance, how and why would anyone blame the DIL?
Sure, she could go an extra mile for them but its not her resposnibility to do that. Its his job to get her to think of them like her own parents.
We don't know the whole stoy to put fault on anyone. Were there reasons to cause the son to be so cold to his own mother? And sorry, the daughter in law could be to blame partially, but again we just don't know the story. At the end of the day, it would fall on the son's shoulder to take care of his parents n give them respect.
How do we know that the mother is not happy with the current living arrangements? How do we know that he is not fulfilling his obligations, maybe they visit frequently? Was this guy old enough to work to pay for the education/marriage of his siblings? Maybe he contributed something, or maybe the maamu is very wealthy and offered to help out.
We just don't have enough information here to judge anyone. If the son was living with his family and his wife's family was living just round the corner in the same situation I doubt you would be posting this question.
Son and DIL both are to blame here. It is his son's responsibility to take care of his aging mother and his siblings. If he doesn't care for them, how can you expect his wife to care for his parents.
And like cheegum said, she probably is the underdog (keeping her sister and mother in the house, and MIL still has to live with her brother). Again this is only an assumption..who knows what the real story is.
