Let me get this straight, he lives in a house not too far from hsi parents. in that house, lives his mother in law and sister in law
what is the problem here, im confused?
is the son's mother sick and dying? benig abused by his brother? not being taken care of? he has abandoned her, ie never sees her?
No, actually he lives abroad, while his MIL and SIL live in his house, while his mother lives a block away in his mamooN (mothers's brother) house.
amana- teh mother is not happy with this arrangement.
Then how do you know that everyone is not satisfied with that arrangement? Sometimes a more unusual (culturally speaking) arrangement works well for everyone, but outsiders try to cause trouble.
If the son was living with his family and his wife's family was living just round the corner in the same situation I doubt you would be posting this question.
Ofcourse then i wil nbe meaningless o post the question then, coz both families will be living in their own houses. Now DILs family is living in his house, while his own family is living in a relatives house, thoug DILs family own a house which tehy have rented.
there shouldn't be any reason that a son should give his mother a the cold shoulder specially when she worked very hard to raise them, provide for him and make scarifies. I have first hand experience with this (my own oldest brother has moved out and left my mother and me + 2 other siblings to handle everything).
i think the DIL is also to be blame (at least a little)...i dont understand how can girls forget that they have mothers/brothers/sisters/and daughters too...would they want there brother or son to treat his family that way. why cant she be a better person and talk to him abt it and ask him to provide for his sibling and mother.
isn't his family her family too, after marriage.
Its the son who needs to make sure his mother is taken care of. Someone gave birth to him, that same woman didnt give birth to his wife. That woman raised him, not his wife. If doesnt set the examples and tone, then this is how it will be. He doesnt care about his parents and thats sad. But the DILs family wouldnt be taking such liberties if he had spoken up.
Some wives have so much influence on their husband that they can make them do anything...even abandon his own family...not suggesting that this is the case in the above situation. the inlaws are humans and they shouldn't let there SIL treat his family they way he is. I am not saying that it only their (in laws or the DIL) responsibility but it wouldn't hurt them to help this widow and her family out.
in the end it will be the son resp. to take care of his mother and siblings, but again the DIL could play a major role in making that happen.
The DIL's family has just as much right to live in the home of her daughter/son-in-law as the son's family.
That said, he should be taking care of his mother. Why isn't he? If her were generally opposed to supporting someone he wouldn't be allowing his wife's family to live in his home. I don't believe that the wife has so much influence that she is preventing it. There is still something missing from this story.
And as funny place as Pakistan is, my relatives were interested in rishta of DILs younger sister and were satisfied but now they are having second thought, bcoz after knowing this story. They think "ye bh hamarey larkey ko ham sey door ker dey gi"
If the girl is otherwise a good girl, then I really wouldn't let this situation stand in the way. As I said if we are not directly involved then we don't know the whole story, and who knows, maybe after the SIL moves out the mother will move out with her.
If the girl is otherwise a good girl, then I really wouldn't let this situation stand in the way. As I said if we are not directly involved then we don't know the whole story, and** who knows, maybe after the SIL moves out the mother will move out with her**.
Thats will scare out the potential rishtas i guess.
I really don't see why the wife's family does not have the right to expect the same level of care from her daughter as the man's family expects from their son. Not everyone has a son to provide them with a cushy retirement, and from an Islamic POV, a girl has the same level of responsibility to provide care for her parents, particularly if there is no one else to care for them. The man's parents do not have more rights than the woman's parents.
Icon said if the DIL family really needs the help thn it should be given. but if the DIL has brothers and a father to look after the family thn they shouldn't be take advt. of the SIL and should let him take care of his own family.
And as funny place as Pakistan is, my relatives were interested in rishta of DILs younger sister and were satisfied but now they are having second thought, bcoz after knowing this story. They think "ye bh hamarey larkey ko ham sey door ker dey gi"
this is another reason why the in-laws should have a talk with the SIL, because if they are not the reason behind him abandoning his family but becuz of which the sister in law is being rejected for rishta...they need to talk to the son in law and tell him he needs to do the right thing and help out his own family too.