Who Initiates

[MustafaQuraishi]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

Desi men are no different than any other man when it comes to who initiates…is that true? I would think desi men are more traditional in their thinking. Traditional as in the man asks the woman obliges or doesn’t oblige.

I was talking with a guy friend and the topic of initiating in a relationship came up. In a marriage, a man always prefers to initiate romance or intimacy, if a woman initiates, she wouldn’t be seen in a good light. Are all men different when it comes to being the initiators or are certain things like this pretty standard across the board for men.

Is it just me or does anyone else feels that a girl taking initiative at any level is such a big turn on ?

[khattichic]

Re: Who Initiates

Who here remembers the Wife A/Wife B thread

[htmwrites]

Re: Who Initiates

@khattichic

Fikar naat mera bacha, not all desi guys/husbands are like that

hahaha, if you’re weird with personal space, prepare yourself now, i’m going to give you a bear hug . Good to know I don’t know why.. but that makes me feel a little better. lol

[_MuNiYa]

Re: Who Initiates

If we’re talking about wife, then spouses usually know what buttons to push without jumping each others bones.
Ie. certain perfume/certain clothes (or lack thereof). The art of seduction can go a long way. Have halal fun!! You’re married after all.

Personally, I don’t think this is ever an issue between husband and wife — your within such close proximity that pick up on these things naturally.

Now stop worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. You’re going to mess up your antennas by over thinking it.

[GlobalGal]

Re: Who Initiates

@Deeba1234

Because it means she must be have done it before, probably with 100 other men lol

This is exactly the reason he said if his wife was to initiate. He said traditional desi men and religious desi men would be traditional in my mind. It made me even more confused than I already was abt menfolk.

[geminifromkhi]

Re: Who Initiates

Why are desi men such complex creatures. If she initiates it, she must have done it before. If she waits for you to initiate it, she doesnt love you. wth.

[anya]

Re: Who Initiates

Sorry but you seem to have the strangest experiences/discussions with your guy friends.

Every man is different from the next. Need to see what works for you and your spouse.

[Iconoclast]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

Desi men are no different than any other man when it comes to who initiates…is that true? I would think desi men are more traditional in their thinking. Traditional as in the man asks the woman obliges or doesn’t oblige.

I was talking with a guy friend and the topic of initiating in a relationship came up. In a marriage, a man always prefers to initiate romance or intimacy, if a woman initiates, she wouldn’t be seen in a good light. Are all men different when it comes to being the initiators or are certain things like this pretty standard across the board for men.

@htmwrites

I find this very curious. Why would a woman be looked at in a bad light if she initiated something in her marriage? She’s his wife.. she has the right to do so. I’m confused.

@htmwrites

Ahhh. Ok..that kind if makes sense I guess.

So what you’re saying is..desi men say she should hold off on her urges for the 20 something years BEFORE her marriage (which makes sense) and then when she gets married, she should hold her urges AFTER marriage…what? Lmao ok my bad. Desi women are supposed to be saints. What on earth was I thinking. We are just mechanical beings that function on instruction lol

@htmwrites

sigh I’m never going to understand our desi culture. Can’t run from it, can’t embrace it completely. Yay for us. The guy is insecure yet the woman has to face the consequences for wanting to do something i would think is normal. Now i have to rethink everything i’ve ever thought about concerning marriage. Whoopdidu.

Some people are trolling you and you believe them. This is not the case at all.

Desi men are humans too and they appreciate love, like anyone else.

Now I don’t want to be too explicit.

[mahool]

Re: Who Initiates

@GlobalGal

Desi men are no different than any other man when it comes to who initiates…is that true? I would think desi men are more traditional in their thinking. Traditional as in the man asks the woman obliges or doesn’t oblige.

I was talking with a guy friend and the topic of initiating in a relationship came up. In a marriage, a man always prefers to initiate romance or intimacy, if a woman initiates, she wouldn’t be seen in a good light. Are all men different when it comes to being the initiators or are certain things like this pretty standard across the board for men.

Who think that wife initiate intimacy is whore and has low character… all those desi traditional husbands should not get married and live their live in baby cot with pacifier and bottle milk in their mouth.

[htmwrites]

Re: Who Initiates

@Iconoclast

Some people are trolling you and you believe them. This is not the case at all.

Desi men are humans too and they appreciate love, like anyone else.

Now I don’t want to be too explicit.

I think I’m going to listen to both sides and try and stay neutral. There’s no point in me forming opinions when clearly not all people can be put in the same basket. However, I am sort of an optimist so ill try and keep desi men in a positive light I guess. Especially since you feel so strongly about it

[TLK]

Re: Who Initiates

We are all adults here so let me say this …

Initiation should not be confused with the display of knowledge of techniques. Former is OK, but the latter certainly would be a red flag.

[Laiha]

Re: Who Initiates

@TLK

We are all adults here so let me say this …

Initiation should not be confused with the display of knowledge of techniques. Former is OK, but the latter certainly would be a red flag.

okay with shows like game of thrones/spartacus/house of cards etc who are we kidding here?
by that same token, would it not be a red flag that the guy displayed knowledge of certain techniques?

[TLK]

@Laiha

@TLK

We are all adults here so let me say this …

Initiation should not be confused with the display of knowledge of techniques. Former is OK, but the latter certainly would be a red flag.

okay with shows like game of thrones/spartacus/house of cards etc who are we kidding here?
by that same token, would it not be a red flag that the guy displayed knowledge of certain techniques?

I don’t watch those shows on so can’t comment, and mera mashwara hai ke aap bhi na dekhaa karain

If a guy is displaying such knowledge, and the girl recognized those techniques then it’s a red flag

[jeans]

Re: Who Initiates

Simple knowledge to me was…

Initiator … Initiates…and…
Terminator…terminates….

[Southie]

Re: Who Initiates

@jeans

Simple knowledge to me was…

Initiator … Initiates…and…
Terminator…terminates….

Communicator … communicates.

chai drinking.

[Decent_6Chora]

Re: Who Initiates

Old saying is k pehley aap, pehley aap main train nikel jati hai.

Just saying

[Shak]

Re: Who Initiates

@Laiha

okay with shows like game of thrones/spartacus/house of cards etc who are we kidding here?
by that same token, would it not be a red flag that the guy displayed knowledge of certain techniques?

Off topic post but Spartacus fan here. Awesome show. :k:

[Pisiform]

Re: Who Initiates

If one is marrying 20 something adult woman, I hope, for their sake, she should be stable enough to initiate affection at times and intelligent enough to know what goes under the sheets

[BigdaNawab]

Re: Who Initiates

goes into decades of flashbacks
I have NEVER come across ANY woman even a DESI woman who DOES NOT initiate intimacy (in marriage or non-marriage)
some do it in a subtle way, some in a casual obvious way, some in a playful way, some in kinky ways. I prefer ANYthing but kinky..its just seems so inappropriate.

sometimes its helpful, COZ the HELL I dont wanna do the initiation EVERYTIME and dont always know if its right time to “initiate”
sometimes it turns into life’s greatest predicaments when you are busy, hungry or sleepy or simply hung up over the the last Nutella Shawarma you had. Terrible timing.

but why are you all worried about it? Most you all don’t look like you EVER gonna get laid anyways.

[TLK]

@BigdaNawab

goes into decades of flashbacks
I have NEVER come across ANY woman even a DESI woman who DOES NOT initiate intimacy (in marriage or non-marriage)
some do it in a subtle way, some in a casual obvious way, some in a playful way, some in kinky ways. I prefer ANYthing but kinky..its just seems so inappropriate.

Tu wadaa gringo hai bha’ee