White American Boy - Halal Way

Lifestyle Relationships
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Honestly, I’d prefer marrying a white American boy. Can I make this a halal way without getting shaitan involved? I will make him embrace Islam or I can marry a convert. I just think they treat women nicely than Pakistani men. I don’t know how to tell my mom that I am scared of Pakistani men. I want a genuine person who wants to treat me as a “life partner”… There are some rishtas my parents are taking interest in. I am going to live my life once only and I have already lived for others. Now, I want to make my own decisions and live it the way I prefer. Can you guys help me please with the pros and cons of marrying an American Boy or Pakistani Boy? I got one year to decide since my age is there…

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

your choice is NOT taboo anymore...Indo-Paki Muslim girls are marrying white men...even girls coming from conservative families. we are pretty religious and conservative but my niece has married a white man after converting him to Islam [for right reasons and not just for getting married]...If you find someone suitable, i think you should go for him [for right reasons]

i think you aren't right in saying that white men treat their women better as compared to Muslim men fron the subcontinent.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

It could be a taboo in my family...I am not sure... What were your nieces right reasons? ... Congrats to her!.... Well, I have developed fear for Pakistani men especially the ones from back home... I think Pakistani men raised or born here in the U.S. might have different mentality.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

I'm not sure I agree with you a 100%. I suppose your skepticism is coming from your recent experience but really, in our social circle, some of the best husbands are from Pakistani background.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Ignorance in our men is the biggest cause of fear that is justifiably present in our women. In some demographics - honour killings, wife-slaves and such is considered the right way.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

^^ Yeah but I think a metro girl like Bombshellbabe isn't going to marrying some village mukhiya/patwari. :D

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

she LIKED this boy and that'a a good reason, i suppose! he converted because he really wanted to.

i understand where you're coming from. there are some bad apples in every society. i agree with you on one count that men who grew up in the subcontinent are a bit different than their counterparts who grew up in the west.

i was born and raised in the India and have been in Canada for the last 12 years and i consider myself to have changed quite a bit...i think one must adopt good qualities/morals of any culture and at the same time shun their own bad ones.

i always hated and will always hate those men who do NOT respect women and treat them decently.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

gori's think otherwise. they know pakistani men are bettter husband.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

what about comparison of pakistani biwian vs gori biwian. I prefer ......

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Well, the stories I have heard from goris do consider Pakistani men terrorist and that they "use" the girls. They understand Pakistani men perspective is to have fun and not bring the girl home since she is a "white trash" (easy to chase and get) ... I haven't heard good things about Paki men in terms of majority. The good ones like TLK Bahi who shows concern towards his wife definately falls under minority category. Islamically, girls have rights over their husbands but we are not authorized to use them culturally.

I have observed American men treating their women "right"... They don't argue in public, speak nicely, well-behaved, and stay chilled during interaction. It is in their culture to be sensitive towards women. With Pakistani men, there is so much "dramabaazi" (role playing) and "chalakiya" (cleverness) that I really can't tolerate... I am not a clever person regardless of the situation, infact, I have a sensitive heart. Being youngest in my family really didn't give me that mindset where I was able to develop those qualities like other Pakistani women. I believe in open communication and I won't get that from Paki men. We need to admit that people are influenced by our culture. Men dislike women overruling or empowering them. I have already made a wrong choice by believing on this "shareef" Pakistani guy who never looked at girls but turned out to be a "Biggest Player" with all the bad habits you can find in the world.... I do care for my kids and future generations but it really depends on my upbringing. I know a mixed girl here and mashallah she is a better Muslim than me. I think I might be more happier with a foreigner. If you guys can suggest me how I can make my way to showing my concern to my family. Share the risk involved in both scenarios of marrying desi or non-desi. I am a one-person girl and I am very willing.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

oooooooooops u r neither chalak nir dramabaaz. have u never seen star plus. if u r so I might have proposed u if i would have not already married.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Yes, I am seedhi. I have tried changing myself but I can't... If you tell me that the sky changes color to purple everyday, I will believe you. Not that Im dumb, it is because I wouldn't have any doubts about you lying to me.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

why would a white muslims prefer you over, say, egyptian, malaysian, jordanian or a white muslim woman........ do think about that. so that you can work on the aspects of your personality that will likely attract white muslims.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Hmmm...I don't know if I necessarily believe this

I have been around both and I wish there was a formula but there isn't. It varies from person to person and family to family.

A good man with good breeding and morals can be found in Caucasian families as well as Pakistani families. You will never be able to generalize and also be right about it. It doesn't work that way.

You shouldn't be looking for a certain ethnicity...you should just be looking for a good man.

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

kia waqai i m falling in lv. such women are antiques now

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

[QUOTE]
I have observed American men treating their women "right"... They don't argue in public, speak nicely, well-behaved, and stay chilled during interaction. It is in their culture to be sensitive towards women.
[/QUOTE]

That's not necessarily true. There's good and bad in every society. You'll find American men who like to dominate over women. What you need is not a certain race, but someone who's more modern and open-minded in their beliefs. Don't look for guys residing in Pakistan because their school of thought might be very different. But even Pakistani men who grew up in the West, or most of them, value equality and do all the things you mentioned above. My friends' guys are all like that. My husband, alhumdulillah, actually moved to the West when he was 15...so he wasn't even very young, but he's developed into a man who's not at all attached to the typical cultural norms of a Pakistani man. You'd never see him get angry in public, or even inside the house mA. Likewise, I've seen some non-Pakistani men being loud and trashy to their SO in public. So really, you can't believe a race to be great. You need to find a man who's compatible with you and has all the good values you want him to have. He can be white, black, yellow or brown...doesn't matter. Just look for a good man, before categorizing ethnicity.

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If you will use anecdotal evidence and limited personal observations and declare desi men as poor husbands, I will use infidelity and divorce stats in US and declare that goras treat you better until they cheat on you and leave you.

Pick your poison ;-)

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Wait, wait wait!!! Why does the American boy have to WHITE eh? Or is there some preference for the white skin? Why not a black American boy?

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

or Hispanic?

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Re: White American Boy - Halal Way

Or Native American. :D