Which would you prefer ??

[Starsky]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@CM

For marriage you need it all. But for the first apporach how will you know if someone is interested in you if they do not flirt or do not tell you? Respect does not denote how someone feels about you emotionally or romantically. Respect is the foundation for any relationship. But flirting denotes the extra desire to be intimate.

Agree 100% :k: In fact I agree with all your posts in this thread and most elsewhere. Sometimes reading your posts is like reading my mind, always spot on my thoughts

For a friendship to progress into something deeper, flirting (a subtle form, depending how one defines it) is definately required to break that ‘friendship’ barrier and express desire, otherise you will remain friends.

[Aish]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Muslim_Queen

CM if it is about the first approach then if personally somebody came and started flirting with me I would slap him to the North Pole.

By the respectful approach I mean, the other person should be nice. They should find out about the person they are approaching. Flirting should come way later if they plan to have a relationship such as marriage or what have you.

If somebody comes and starts flirting right off the bat, how does that show that he/she cares or is interested in a genuine manner? And why can’t they tell you they are interested without flirting about it?

Religiously, the guy should be a bit distant yet nice, and should get the families involved. And the like, you know what I mean.

As for generally, in other words if I wasnt a Muslim, or how I feel about my friends who date and such. I would say the guys/girls should get to know each other. before bringing the whole flirting aspect into it.

(ps long time no see how are you)

no. religiously, u shouldnt be talking to the guy in the first place

[ashtray]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Aishaaa2.1

no. religiously, u shouldnt be talking to the guy in the first place

.

[Femme_Fatale]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

Samajh aa gai Ashtray? Good. Only a woman can get sense in to you.

[CM]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Aishaaa2.1

no. religiously, u shouldnt be talking to the guy in the first place

I guess you didn’t read her statements before that or was it just selective hatred? She already said that the proper method would be to get the family involved first before anything else happened.

[Zakk]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Chloe_Sullivan

Friendly and then a bit flirty while being respectful all the time. Flirty, not as in wolf whistling, flirty as in subtle flirting. Say…

CB i try my best :o ..did you check the family guy link I sent btw?

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Aishaaa2.1

no. religiously, u shouldnt be talking to the guy in the first place

Religiously, the guy should be a bit distant yet nice, and should get the families involved. And the like, you know what I mean .

You obviously dont know what I meant. To clarify it, I was not pointing out what “I” personally do.

From my perspective, Im talking marriage. But due to the diverse folks of gs, I left it up to whatever they do with their lives.

@Chloe_Sullivan

Sayy, I think teaching is a hot profession MQ.

Do you now? why?

@CM

LOL. Excuse you but since when did you come up with that idea? That is dropping a bombshell on a person. They have to confirm it but how do you know they are interested and not playing games?

bonbshell or not, nobody is ever going to read anyones mind. Signals can always be mixed or unclear. Better to SAY whats going on in the minds of people. Saves a lot of confusion. I think its the only way people will know they’re not playing games with each other?

[Muslim_Queen]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@WitchDr

I totally do not subscribe to that. Each relationship should start with respect. It does not necessarily mean that you need to respect the views that you don’t know, but it means you need to start respecting other person’s individuality.

Flirting or not, depends from person to person. I would not base a relationship on flirting.

Agreed.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

Hm, whether they start with flirting or not is pretty individual. Depends on how you percieve a flirting individual? Its flattering of course, but I’ve come to realize that too much flirting is not a good sign…

I mean, if a guy flirts that openly with me from the get-go, chances are he’s done it with others

A little flirting, like a bit of aankh macholi to look and see if the person is looking at you, and then getting caught looking - type stuff…okay whatever, you HAVE to look at the person to see if they seem slightly attracted.

But otherwise, the first conversation should be a meaningful and witty one. The hollywood movie type, not the bollywood or lollywood type

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

Approach? hmmm

Either a guy meets a girl or vise versa, they must have some kind of connection or attraction otherwise there won't be any approaching :p. After that they have to have some shared interests or feelings that connects them and in between that you naturally start respecting the other person.

You guys are talking about respect like you are approaching your mom or aunty rather than a girl. They'll think of as a whimp or gay....:p

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

^ No not at all...

Why does it always have to be likening a woman to three categories:

"mom/sis"

"aunty"

and

"girl"

I mean, I find the last category a bit insulting, and I dont understand it much. When I was at uni, most of the guys there were (granted a bit religious) very normal in their dealings with girls. They used to talk to us like ...

Friends!

I never got the impression I was any different than a fellow male friend when these guys talked to me. And no, there was no chichorapan, because they didn't have the chichorapan type friendships with even their guy friends.

And NO girl at the uni thought they were wimps. In fact, its guys like these that make the best type of life partners.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

I hate double post

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

Well respect doesn't mean being a stiff, necessarily.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

I am not talking about 'Chichora pan', ofcourse girls like guys that are confident and speak in deep voice. That's why they want guys to approach them...what I am talking about is that you play around while you are talking and having fun. Take things lightly, if you are so concerned about respect you won't be able to tell jokes and it will seem more like an interview then two people talking and having some mutual fun. Its just boring...especially to girls.

[Aish]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@CM

I guess you didn’t read her statements before that or was it just selective hatred? She already said that the proper method would be to get the family involved first before anything else happened.

no what were u saying about my religion? i know YOU’RE not lecturing me on religion

“selective hatred” hahah. talk about paranoia

[Aish]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

mq- i wasn't talking about "you" either.

Jesus, chor ke daari mein tinka

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@PyariCgudia

Well respect doesn’t mean being a stiff, necessarily.

I know it doesn’t but, if a guy is so much worried about offending her with a slightest of a funny comment then he is making a big mistake. Girls like when somebody mess around with them…

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

^ ok mr. phd on women.

[funguy]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

Back in my uni days when I was really messed up (some of you might say how worse can it be from my present state) I did an experiment. I stayed shareef for a full semester and it inversely deteriorate my 'social life' on campus. After taking a semester break I returned like the usual flirt and you won't believe the jamm-e-ghafeer of sinf-e-nazik around me.

I am not saying girls were attracted to flirts but I think they felt a bit at ease in mingling with a guy who was a not too much of an introvert.

Kuch samajh paRRee?

[CM]

Re: Which would you prefer ??

@Aishaaa2.1

no what were u saying about my religion? i know YOU’RE not lecturing me on religion

“selective hatred” hahah. talk about paranoia

The devil could lecture you and still be more religious.