what would be more important to you?
What the man you want to marry does for a living or what his parents did for a living in Pak and what they do now in Canada??
Just curious what people think because I have a friend who recently got married and the guys parents are pretty well off. Sister is a doctor in Pak, father was a professor in Pak, brother is some sort of a professional, however the guy she married is not as great as the rest of his family. He is always between jobs, education not all that and so on…
She has one kid by him and he pretty much ditched her after that. He lives on his own somewhere in the states claiming that he has a job down there. She now lives in her parents basement and her parents support her. He sends her no money or supports her in any way. Rumours are flying that he has a second wife down in the states, BUT he has this wonderful educated, high class family
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
Thats the problem with some pakistanis is that the first thing they look at when sourcing rishteh for their children is the family wealth. It doesn’t matter if the kids have serious personality flaws as long as the family has money…
From a personal point of view I dont agree with this kind of mentality. I like to earn my own money and do not rely on anyone else for financial support and this works well for me that way there are no expectations or dissapointments that come with many marriages these days.
I think if you marry into a family specifically for their wealth then you have some serious issues if not now then in at some point in the future
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
Looking at the 'khandaan' and family background is fine and dandy, but it shouldn't be the only reason you marry someone. There are plenty of highly educated and wealthy people out there who also happen to be extremely jahil. There are too many families these days that just look at wealth, marry their daughters off who eventually come home divorced. It's a sad situation. There's more to a person than just their job and family, which is why it is so important to actually get to know the person you are marrying to see if the two are really compatible.
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
Well not so much wealth, but I guess you could say class?
For example I got a rishta once and this guy was from loserville and it was so obvious. No education, no job and totaly a jerk. I still continued for my parents sake since my dad pushed me. His reason was "Well his dad is a CA and they have a good family" blah blah blah "his brother is a doctor" and so on...
Thats all nice and dandy that his daddy is a CA and his brother is a doctor but what the hell is he? He told his mom on me when a couple of times he called and I wasnt home. His mom then went and told his uncle who then told mmy dad. AHH!! So much drama. Anywhooz, the guy was throwing a spaz at me over the fact that I didnt return an email to his sister. I didnt want to ruin my parents friendship with them so I just made up some BS and said I wasnt really intrested in getting married and the guy got pissed. He was like "what do you mean not interested in marriage? Are you on some like wild ride or something before you decide to get married? Do you want to like fool around and then decide to settle down when your done?" I felt so cheap you know? I couldnt believe he said that to me while his own sister who is older then me is unmarried also and I guess I could say the same thing, but I didnt. I just told him that it if it wasnt for the fact my father and his father were friends I would have told him where to go. I regret it now I should have said something but whatever.
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
so now there are 2 sadz...sadzz and sadz....so confusing..!!
anyways, i agree with most pple here..its not only about the family (although it has some importance), but also about the guy as well..for sure...im alwasy telling my single girlfriends that if you wanna get info on that family and the guy, ask from a third party..someone neutral....
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
I know a family where their son is a doctor yet his father is a taxi cab driver. Back in pak his dad owned a construction business but when he came to Canada he had no choice cuz bills had to be paid and the family had to eat and needed a roof over their heads you know? They gave a rishta for a girl and her parents said that they were not at their level in standards and they would be embarrased to have a wedding and have taxi cab drivers their and that they wouldnt be able to show their faces to ppl since they would not be able to explain how somebody of their class married their daughter off to such ppl
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
wow people are so retarded! I wouldn’t care if my fiance’s father drove a rikshaw. I love him, I want him, I think hes mr.right and thats what matters, not what his father his mother his brother his sisters his cousins his nephews and nieces his grandfather and grandmother and his friends do
Its things like these that make wanna run away from pakistani culture and pakistani people
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
I guess with Pakistanis its not just marrying the guy your marrying their entire khandan and they have this huge pride thing with family and people. I really cant stand Pakistani culture and society sometimes
hawwwww log kya kahenge??? oh my God the world is going to fall of its axis!!! JEEEZZ!!!
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
well good luck to that girl and her parents...being really picky about stupid things...goign to be hard to find a guy for this girl....i have two of my friends...both single girls from mississauga...if ya'll know any single guys, give a shout!
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
Advice for girls:
Never marry a guy whose family's class is below yours. When shiit happens--and, trust me, it will -- then if the guy's family is jahil, you've got no recourse. You have got an angry spouse and a hostile family to reckon with.
the risk is more for the girl. Alwys marry up in terms of class.
Re: Which is more importat? What the man you marry does for a living or his family?
Knowing what the immediate family do makes sense to some extent. Wanting to know what all the male members of a khandaan do is pretty irrelevant IMO. We’ve had people ask what both of my grand fathers did for a living and what all of my uncles do. I don’t see what the point of this is especially considering both of my grand fathers have passed away … one died even before I was born yet people have asked what they did for a living. I think that is irrelevant and inappropriate.
