Question primarily for the girl folk - but guys can respond as well as it relates to their relocation decisions.
How important is the city/location of your potential husband when deciding on a rishta?
If the guy lives in the same country/continent, i.e. USA or Canada, but in a very remote city would you consider the rishta?
As an example - he lives in the middle of Wyoming where the closest desi store is a few hours away; where in total there may be 5 desi families living within a 50 mile radius so no opportunity to socialize with very many other desis, no masjid for at least 2-3 hours from your home and no career prospects for the girl (whose a city girl) - would or should these things matter when considering a rishta.
Guys, from your perspective - do you consider these things when deciding where to settle?
I can’t wait to move! No offense to the irish people or the beautiful country itself, but any other country would be better than this only because there’s only like 4 million people living here, there isn’t much to do, there isn’t much desi community, there aren’t ANY desi clothes shops, there is only a few desi food shops which are only good for packaged foods (not fresh), absolutely no desi weddings services, and so on… half of my class mates are leaving their own country after graduation, so its not just me!
I find it unfair that the girl is always expected to uproot herself and move to the guys' city/country but I do respect girls who do that.....its not easy to leave your family and friends behind and live intotally different surroundings.
i only wanted someone from arabia. thats where i was born and raised... i had studied abroad and moved back and that is exactly the kind of rishta i wanted... born and raised in arabia, gone out to study and now back and workign there. i just wanted it like that cuz life in the middle east is SO VERY DIFF from teh rest of the world .. i thought hey i need a guy from here so i have it easy.. he will get me.
did it happen? nopes! sure tehre were loads fo rishtas but just like u said.. they belonged to really small cities where there just couldnt be much in teh way of mental openess and well grooming... or even if they were from a big city they werent cultured or just somethign or another wouldnt gel..
i finally ended marrying a guy millions of miles away in a totally diff continent but the best of all, its like we had the same upbringing even though we grew up in diff cultures..
in a nutshell.. u can try and try.. but only god knows what he has in store for u:)
I would love to marry a guy who lives in my city but it is not quite impossible so yeah I am fine as far as he is living anywhere in USA. I do not want to marry anyone from another country....so yeah location is important but I won't be too critical if it is a remote place in USA. And honestly, I don't care if the closed desi store is few hours away. I can survive without a desi store. As far as the career prospects, you'd have to talk to the guy, get to know his thought and see if relocation is an option in few yrs or something.
edit: actually it will be difficult for me to live in a small remote area but if it is only for couple years and there is something extremely extraordinaory about that guy then I will consider moving to a remote area.
I don't think it matters. Lets say you marry soemone who lives in NY.. you love this place.. always wanted to live here etc. and then your husband loses his job or gets transfered to North Dakota. What would you do then? Leave him?? You marry the person, not his city. Living in a nice, big, city has its advantages but if the person you marry has his job in a small city, you really can't do much.
So when I say it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Where my parents live and where I grew up, its a very small city in the South. My dad has his job there. We used to visit bigger, nicer cities every now and then.
I know a girl who rejected a good rishta based on the guy's location. Pretty sad. After two years, she is still single.
I don't think it matters. Lets say you marry soemone who lives in NY.. you love this place.. always wanted to live here etc. and then your husband loses his job or gets transfered to North Dakota. What would you do then? Leave him?? You marry the person, not his city. Living in a nice, big, city has its advantages but if the person you marry has his job in a small city, you really can't do much.
So when I say it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Where my parents live and where I grew up, its a very small city in the South. My dad has his job there. We used to visit bigger, nicer cities every now and then.
I know a girl who rejected a good rishta based on the guy's location. Pretty sad. After two years, she is still single.
Intellectually, I agree with this comment. But, I guess it also comes down to the guy. If he's the only one in this remote far-flung city to keep me company since I have no job or friends, his company should be pretty stellar by itself to keep me interested and entertained.
I'm remembering what a friend once said to me when I told her I wanted to marry a man I could be friends with. She said marry a guy who fits the "criteria" but not to hold out for friendship with your husband. She said you get friendship and conversation from friends not your husband.
Yea I think for men its important to be at a place where they can earn something for their family and can maintain few connections .
I agree that it's important for a guy to earn a living.
But if he has two choices - more money minimal social life/religious infrastructural support, i.e. masjid, halal ghosht ki dukaan OR less money, but more social connections and religious institutions - what should a guy choose?
The best thing about being single is that you can travel . So I'll choose first option for myself . But ''if'' I'll have a family then I might choose first option for sometime , but later for longer period I'll choose second option .
If the location is more important to someone than the person they will be spending the rest of their lives with, then it says a lot about their relationship.
