Re: Where is my kuch kuch hota hai guy?
Its ridiculous for you to feel too “shy” to talk to your mother or another female in the family (older cousin, aunt whatever) and let them know that you want to be able to talk to the guy someone a few times (either in person, phone or online) before saying “yes” to a rishta. You’re not a teenager! You’re an adult. Act like it.
You want more than a decent looking guy and who is more educated than you. You also want someone who will be ok with you working, whose parents aren’t hypocrites and I imagine a host of other things. Rejecting a guy b/c they want a house-wife b/c you insist on working is fine…there is clearly a difference in values here. But don’t refuse to meet someone b/c you don’t feel a spark. Don’t say “no” just b/c his education level is not the same as you IF he has a good job. In those cases, meet the guy!
Part of finding a spouse is investment of time. Most people who date, generally end up dating several people over the years before finding the right person. People going through arranged route usually have to go through multiple “meetings” and talk to several people before saying yes to one. This is a major decision for your life that will require more time and effort than looking at pictures and learning his resume. You have nothing to lose by taking the time to meet some of these guys. If after the meeting you feel that you two aren’t compatible based on values and expectations for the future…then say no.
You should not get married for the sake of getting married. But you need start being more practical when you comes to these rishtas. Focus on what’s more important for the long run. For example…if you find a guy who is average looking, has a great job and make a good income, your personality matches with his, his parents seem nice and they’re ok with you working after marriage…does it really matter that his education level isn’t the same as yours? Really sit down and think about what’s going to make a difference in your life 10 years from now when it comes to the guy.
All you can do is take care of yourself (looks and health) as much as you can. Keep working and have hobbies. Don’t become bitter and remain practical. Living in Pakistan you already know how the rishta scenes work for girls once they’re past 27/28. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get ANY rishtas after that…just that the # of rishtas will be less, and you may have to make more compromises.
Well you are from US wont understand. Thats how stuff works in Pakistan, or at least in my family. Talking to guys on phone before deciding to accept or reject the proposal will raise lots of eye brows here. I belong to a middle class family
