where have all the men gone?

[inspiron]

@X2

There are two conflicting statements in your post, one is that you can not find/meet the right type of person.

but then you are also doubting yourself in ways and talking about trying to get fit and not being fair.

the second part would not matter if the first was not true at all would it?

or what you are not saying is that you have met the type of guys you like but then they were not interested? and/or you are having confidence issues as you do meet guys who meet your requirements?

not trying to beat up on you in any way at all, but tryign to make you think and get a better sense of the situation.

second- is income being equal or more a real deal breaker? that balance can change even in future even if you guys are in the same field. the right guy would not have an issue if his wife earns more.

third- why are guys born abroad out of the question, depending on background and education, there is a huge variance between personalities and outlook.

last- are your friends and cousins etc finding guys? if so, are these guys trolls and u dont like them at all, if not how and where. See what you can absorb from their experiences.

My observation has been that in the same social circles, same community, same khandan and even sometimes the same household one guy or girl will not have any issues finding someone and one does. seen it in my own khandan, what is the reason? think about it

Thanks for your post! its really thought provoking

What im saying is…the guys who i do like…are already taken and have very beautiful girl friends, and because i am not really meeting anyone who i like in more than a friend way or who i really feel a connection with and who is muslim (ive had amazing connection with hindu/sikh guys unfortuneately..but obv that remained platonic) im having confidence issues.

Yeah so what im saying is…because im not approached by many men, esp compared to my friends who i must say are stunningly beautiful (syrian, persian) i am having confidence issues and trying to work out is it something in me…if i look better and try and make myself really hot will i be approached by more men…i dont mean this in a bad way…my friends get approached by senior doctors and decent men who are not just after one thing…but because they get approached by so many they get a choice…i hope im making sense…

Its about a man being financially stable not about providing me with luxury goods and i really dont want to earn significantly more than my husband because i want to work part time to look after a family and possibly not work at all when i have young children one day inshallah…if im earning double or triple it would bother me, im looking for someone with ambition and drive in a decent career and something where we would understand eachother and our demanding careers.

Guys born abroad arent a problem i.e from US canada autrailia but i dont really think i would click with someone from pakistan, thats what i thought imported husband meant. I would also be willing to move countries if need be to another western country.

My friends…the friends i am close to…dont have any trouble finding guys…but honestly they are all stunningly beautiful, im not just saying that every guy wants a bit of them.

But thinking about it…one of my close friends she is very beautiful and had real trouble finding a decent man exactly the same problems i am having…she met someone in a different city while out with friends and now she is very happy.

The other girls in my year…yes some are in stable relationships some arent.

This sounds weird…but alot of my friends tell me my expectations of men are too low/wrong in a way, i look for very masculine men who have an air of confidence…and end up going for guys who are just ‘bad boys’ and really not ready to settle down or only go for having a trophy on their arms.

Maybe i need to change the way i look at men.