Ana, there is no excuse for a "failed" marriage because you see, it is a matter of personal choice for the woman to stay in that bad marrige due to pressures and whatnot. Maybe the confidence factor is lacking, maybe it's something else. What it boils down to is that the person stuck in a bad marriage needs to make a concerted effort to rise out of the situation. I'm sure it isn't easy but one must at least make an attempt. There's nothing worse than despair, and people that despair don't get very far. They have to take action by at least making an honest effort. I totally empathize with the scenario you're presenting but again, at the end of the day, it's a matter of personal choice. No one is physically holding down the woman with a ball and chain, stopping her from leaving. The strength needs to come from within her.
i wonder in which world such things happens ???
I agree with you that its very sad that our society has room for such things but i think you have to look at this issue separately from men's and women's side.
I think guys immature guys that is do it for "time pass" they are reckless and don't care about the feelings of these women they do it more for their own egos. To them like you said its a game and its all about winning and how many trophies they have.
As for the women they are also to blame no matter how insecure or bad their REAL relations are they always get flattered yes it has to do with how they feel about themselves in their personal life. still its wrong and unhealthy way of behaving.
But i think most of it happens becauae men and women both don't take the chat world seriously and to them its lika a play.
they are going to hell ... where else..
I hadn't seen this thread before and I must say, what I'm reading here is really, really scary. I had no idea whatsoever, that even in Pakistan these things happen at such a high rate.
Allah hum sab ko aise harkaton sai bachaa kai rakhe. Ameen.
Umer :k:
Ameen.
it is very scary to know these things are happening of all countries in pakistan :( what i dont understand is why guys seem to look at it like a game?? i used to have a totally extreme concept abt guys b4
if i do say so myself, rude to them mean etcetc, but i guess when u fall 4 some1 u change and now im really nice to everyone but BUT when i read this i want to go back to being mean :( maybe its better keeping everyone out than risk getting hurt like that
wow, lotsa long replies - i'm in a rush so this'll be short n sweet (rare, i know)
Yeah, there are a lot of men that look at women as nothing more than sex meat, and there are a lot of women who look at themselves as sex meat.
How about we try to shape a society in which women aren't looked at for their body, but instead their minds? And I dont think this is going to happen with a burqa mandit or hijaab laws, but instead its an idea that we've gotta raise our children with which many of our parents and other adults were not raised with.
It all starts from the home.
what makes you think these things won’t happen in Afghanistan or saudia?
agree with u 100% PCG 
:k:
its an idea that we've gotta raise our children with which many of our parents and other adults were not raised with
PCG - U think our parents were not raised with proper values?
What makes u say that?
Sweetheart, values/morals/ethics all go down the drain when the mind is overpowered with just one sensation - lust. Desire and frustrating that desire has got close to zilch to do with values. Any ordinary being can feel desire, no matter how much restraint you have on your emotions, and depending on the circumstance u r placed or find yrself in, it can overtake u completely - and by that time, the deed is done.
Sinners aren't always rotten to the core u know.
Dont worry be happy!
Life is cruel .. just go on with the flow ..
PCG - U think our parents were not raised with proper values?
I said "many of our parents", and I might not necessarily mean the values you think I mean. I'm talking about raising sons to think of women as more than just "dulhans", etc. If I had a son, I'd raise him to appreciate women as human beings. After all, we women think and feel just like men do and I dont think we're any less intelligent or less competent to be a part of society. However, some traditional ethnicities within Pakistan dont raise their sons in this manner. I think that's a set-back to those families.
Sweetheart, values/morals/ethics all go down the drain when the mind is overpowered with just one sensation - lust
Totally agreed. However, you can always take preventive measures, even if they're not 100 percent fool proof. By teaching guys to respect women at a young age, these same men may hold back when overcome with desire due to respect. I know that I haven't gone down that road and neither have many of my friends just out of respect for our 1. religion 2. parents 3. self-respect and respect for the object of desire.
Re: Where are these married ppl going??
ok.. situation in pakistan is not very different than any other country in the world, its happening everywhere so if thats not the place to raise your kids then where EXACTLY u’ll raise them? in these western countries where 80% of guys and girls don’t think of each other as humans but sexual objects. how much control u’ll have over ur children if u’ll live in these countries?
dont’ blame guys for everything. these so called “married” ladies are as much responsible as these guys are. don’t they have a mind of their own to think and judge where they are coming from and what they are doing. Pakistan, an islamic state, has nothing to do with the actions of these people. its more because of internet [chatting, porn websites etc], unlimited access to information [good-2-bad-2-worse], and above all, personal choices.
SCARY
...Zuleika.... Prince Charles, Princess Diana, Bill Clinton..... you can find an example from all the times, place and country in history ...the list is endless and ...
So what is new about it and what is the hue and cry about?
Just because we are Pakistanis, why should we be any different? Are we not humans? Are we not just like them? So why will we not act and end like them? So why cant it happen to us and why cant the women and the men of Pakistan and east indulge in such activities.... What makes us better than them and superior?
"WE ARE PAKISTANI. THIS IS NOT OUR CULTURE TRADITIONS, HERITAGE..."
SO WHAT? Are not the people in the west Americans, English French, Italian, German, Dutch, Spanish...Do you think this was their culture? Do you think this was part of the heritage of the western civilization? The west was not always like this. For starters just have a look at some of the old movies how the ladies used to be covered from head to toe in those long skirts... Interesting thing is that unlike us they do not even have a "WEST" to blame all the ills in their society. Do you think they did not try to fight against it? Resist it. They did. They tried to stop all the ills.... but in the end had to legalize in some way as the last resort. Making it a part of their culture and so it will become a part of PAKISTANI culture one day.
Have a look at the Indians. The Muslims have ruled India for hundreds of years. The Indians are just as proud of the Moughals as much as we are. Yet you see Indian society adopting all these trends... The Japanese and the Koreans were conservative eastern cultures and civilizations but look at them now? Hope fully we will soon catch up with them.... it is just a matter of time....
"OH BUT WE ARE MUSLIMS "
Are we? Are we Muslims by choice or by chance?
The way I see it we only differ from them in one way,We have Islam and they did not. Although the west might be awakening and might have left us behind even in this ... Islam is the fasting growing religion with emphasses on putting the principles of islam to practice [It remind me of the verse in which Allaha SWT says that he replaces the ones with the ones that follow his commandments.... NOW THIS IS SCARY ].... while we continue to think that by living in Pakistan, Saudia, Afghanistan or any other Islamic state will be better off. Mind you the point I am trying to make is that just living in such "Islamic" countries is pointless if the socities of these countries are not Islamic.
May ALLAH guide us to right path ( ameen) aur hum sab ko specially ladies ko sahi aue seeday rastay par rakhay coz females have a big responsbility as they r mothers jinno ne ik naye nasal ko parwan charana hota hai aur jo bachay maa ki goad se yeh kuch sekhaen gyae unn ka future kay ho gaa ? Allah sab ko apni hifz-o-aman mein rakhay aur sacha seeda rasta dekhay (ameen)