To the OP :
Angst, that’s all I can see here, it is useless set of feelings. It is easy to blame others, where all the grateful women who appreciate their husbands hard work? who don’t project their insecurities through their want of things? who don’t nag, complain despite having most luxuries? I could go on but I am not here to play the blame game therefore this will be only post in this thread. I hope you will read without any preconceived notions.
I think you just need to establish what you want and set some personal standards and don’t bother with anyone who does not fit in, what you choose to base the standards is upto you. Why do you get so worked up what others are doing? who cares? what is to you? (I am not asking). You cannot change other people, that’s a fact of life, you can only do what is right for you. My opinions were not only openly put down in your thread and mocked at, people just read what they wanted to read, wrapped it up under their own notions & ideologies just because they did not agree with it. Do I care? not one bit, that’s what people do and I have no interest in arguments.
Desis are higly codependent, highly dysfunctional group of people, this is not a judgment, just an opinion formed from faith-shaking personal circumstances (no I will never reveal them on a forum).
Go back to your thread and read the general notion from the ladies, it is some garb about owning your life to a woman who produced your babies, where do you think this ideology comes from? ask yourself without flying off the handle. It does not come from Islam thats for sure, it comes from codependency, idealistic thoughts that are presented on ludicrous TV shows. These are deluded ideas not grounded on any monotheistic faith or the physical reality we live in, nobody ever owes anyone their life, you only owe your life to yourself. Your husband has the responsibility to provide you with security - this includes respect, home and the financial security for children, their upbringing, their education and countless other things, the list never ends … this is the wife’s security. The wife has the responsibility of raising the children primarily and there is no denying that’s a difficult task. The rest for cleaning, cooking etc. are a matter of mutual agreement, it’s not set in stone.
Arguing over if the guy drops-dead? come on now how often does this happen? there is a will and the Islamic laws are there for this purpose if anyone cares, I posted them but people were in interested in resorting to cheap-shots. Fortunately I live in North America and women go to university, hold high paying jobs and make their own assets.
If it makes you feel any better, read the following link, I am trying to give you some perspective so kindly do not take it the wrong way : http://www.islaam.com/article.aspx?id=535
As for staying here from high school, yes that is kind of embarrassing, try this :http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/04/30-days-to-success/ If you do this, it’s likely you may never return to GS. There are far more important things going in the world which carry far more weight than worrying about other people lives, it’s for them to live and you have yours. One look at Palestine, which makes you wonder why we are arguing over ‘chicken feed’ (quote from Sheikh Imran Hosein)
Take care.
I’m still going to get married and make babies!