Re: When will people realize that it’s rude…
that doesn’t annoy me much but I know it can be rude if said in certain tone or context.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
well i had a baby girl a year ago, and am preg again now, and im sure everyone will ask me the gender and m mil has even said **i think this is a boy...i wanted to ask her how she knows this,** but apparently she thinks its a boy. and if it isnt, im sure alot of peopl will come to me and say khair hai, next time.... i rem a few relatives did say this to me the first time round, just because she wasnt a boy.....the bleeping bleeps....
Apparently if you're carrying low its a girl and if you're carrying high, its a boy (or its other way around). And no its not just a 'desi' thing, a lot cultures believe in this idea.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
that doesn't annoy me much but I know it can be rude if said in certain tone or context.
Maybe asking the question itself is not that bad, but such a question is normally loaded with expectations. Besides, everyone keeps narrating how by the time their child was so many months old, they already had another one. And it's so 'easy' to have all the kids with little gap between them. Or they even say that it becomes harder to conceive the longer you wait...it's easier to raise 2-3 kids at the same time rather than having one at a time.
What annoys me is:
- the assumption that you have to have more kids. That's not in my hands. Even if I had wished, that's not a factor that I can control.
- just because they think it's easier to raise all the babies at the same times, doesn't mean I have to subscribe to the same views. I don't live in a joint family setup, where you have support of other family members. And I don't want to cope with that kind of hectic life by choice, if Allah had willed it then that's another matter. Lakin I prefer to go easy and slow. For myself, I am even content with one baby, because there was a time when I din't have one!
- to be asked the same question again and again. Don't you think you would get to hear of the good news voluntarily if there was something to be shared?
it's particularly obnoxious when you don't have any kids. Maybe someone is having problems with conception and is already upset/stressed about it. By constantly asking about it, you might be hurting someone even more. For that reason many women end up very depressed or bitter or insecure, or all of these. Plus there's always this looming threat of second marriage if the first wife cannot reproduce. I am not saying that was the case in my situation. But when you cannot conceive and are already upset about it, this type of questions only make you more worried, no matter how well mentioned they may be.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
Apparently if you're carrying low its a girl and if you're carrying high, its a boy (or its other way around). And no its not just a 'desi' thing, a lot cultures believe in this idea.
This, is fascinating.