Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
Thera are anything but deadend answers. You are only inviting them to repeat the same questions the next time they see you again.
Azmaish shart ha. I give you money back guarantee that they are dead end questions.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
Azmaish shart ha. I give you money back guarantee that they are dead end questions.
Ok aap kehte hain to maan letay hain...
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
It might be annoying but definately not rude (except for the last question about kids)
In my whole life I have yet to meet a person who insisted on asking my salary after I replied "Allah Ka shuker hai. Achi salary hai" to their initial question. I just fail to understand strong reaction against such questions.
Only offensive question in the list is about the kids as one never know the reason and this is more of a insensitive question than rude or annoying.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
^If you meet someone for the first time and they ask it out of curiosity it's not such a big deal. But if someone knows your situation pretty well then this kind of intrusive questions become unbearable. And no matter how calm you act, and how many times you say it's not in your hands, they don't leave you alone. That's when it becomes rude.
For instance, my elder sister is still single. She is 4 years older than me. Everyone knows that she has been facing psychological and psychiatric problems for over a decade. None of them would even consider her for any child/relative of their own. Seeing how narrow minded our society is, and its attitude about people with psychological illnesses, it's not that hard to understand why it is difficult to find a match for her. And repeating this again and again, sometimes even in her presence is not only insensitive, it's downright obnoxious. Plus it's not as if, if you cannot get married then there is nothing else left in your life. People only cause more stress and mental torture to her by their so called 'well meaning' comments. And then wonder why her treatment is not helping. Sick of this behaviour.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
"people always nudged me at weddings and said 'you're next' untill I started nudging them at funerals and said 'you're next'"
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
"people always nudged me at weddings and said 'you're next' untill I started nudging them at funerals and said 'you're next'"
According to that, a wedding is to be taken as a funeral?
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
well i had a baby girl a year ago, and am preg again now, and im sure everyone will ask me the gender and m mil has even said i think this is a boy...i wanted to ask her how she knows this, but apparently she thinks its a boy. and if it isnt, im sure alot of peopl will come to me and say khair hai, next time.... i rem a few relatives did say this to me the first time round, just because she wasnt a boy.....the bleeping bleeps....
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
"people always nudged me at weddings and said 'you're next' untill I started nudging them at funerals and said 'you're next'"
Putting the fun back in funeral.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
People usually make guesses based on physical charecteristics or superstitions or their own gut feelings about the gender of the baby. Nothing wrong with that
Its the unaccepting/woe is you attitude about gendet AFTER the birth thats more offensive.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
People usually make guesses based on physical characteristics
What Physical Characteristics??!
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
well i had a baby girl a year ago, and am preg again now, and im sure everyone will ask me the gender and m mil has even said i think this is a boy...i wanted to ask her how she knows this, but apparently she thinks its a boy. and if it isnt, im sure alot of peopl will come to me and say khair hai, next time.... i rem a few relatives did say this to me the first time round, just because she wasnt a boy.....the bleeping bleeps....
I'll bet you anything once you put them in their place, they won't say anything to you about it again EVER. Put too many people are too afraid to offend people they don't really care about.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
Seriously, it's about time people realize that the following is SUPER RUDE behviour:
1) Asking someone they have just met, or even a relative how much they earn.
Answer: Shukar alhamdulilah. bas guzara hojata hai. but if person still asking amount in figures, then ask his/her salary. once you know the salary, you can adjust your salary accordingly.
2) Why aren't you married yet/Why your brother or sister or whoever isn't married yet/When are you/they getting married? **Jab Allah ka hukam hoga, joray asamaon par bantay hain. etc...
3) Why don't you have any kids?/When are you going to have kids?(and in case you already have a kid they want to know when are they going to have the next one).** Jab Allah ki marzi hogi, bachay jabhi hongay.
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Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
well i had a baby girl a year ago, and am preg again now, and im sure everyone will ask me the gender and m mil has even said i think this is a boy...i wanted to ask her how she knows this, but apparently she thinks its a boy. and if it isnt, im sure alot of peopl will come to me and say khair hai, next time.... i rem a few relatives did say this to me the first time round, just because she wasnt a boy.....the bleeping bleeps....
Yes i can imagine that must have hurt. Can never understand aunties' obsession with male child.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
i guess i have had round of all 3 situations. my niece-in-law asked me only after 6 months of marriage when r we having a baby? i replied that after i get a degree, then we will start a family. she said no problem if u can't take care of a baby, the she will take of it for me. i was fuming with anger. but i repiled, it seems ur having difficult time taking care of ur own kids, how will u manage mine? lol!!
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
^ hahaha. My son is about 18 months old. But he is very fussy with eating. And everyone keeps saying how I haven't taught him the 'habit' of eating. Someone even said, if he were to stay with me for even ten days, I would feed him and fatten him up. I had a very smart retort on the tip of my tongue but overcame the temptation, why become rude and become just like those people?
It hurts a great deal though, people acting as if they care more for my child then me. As if I don't love him enough or whatever.
Re: When will people realize that it’s rude…
aah.. reminds me when i got back from pakistan just after getting married i was walking with a friend of mine and 3 auntys stopped us (apparently they knew me but i STILL have no idea who they were) so yea we stop say salam and they start asking me about my trip to pakistan (which is fine to ask) and 20 seconds later one of them pulls me to the side and asks ’ koi bacha vacha hai ke koi nah’ (in other words was asking me if i was preggo 
i didnt even answer took my friend and left.. and now after two boys i keep getting asked when iam having a girl .. it’s not only rude but none of their business.. and i always wonder.. do they REALLYYY care? or is it just a habit to ask dumb questions.. 
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
[QUOTE]
' koi bacha vacha hai ke koi nah'
[/QUOTE]
lol
Re: When will people realize that it’s rude…
Bilkul. I mean if they were closely related to you then you can at least understand why they are so ‘anxious’. But for outsiders to take such a keen interest in your life, and even to keep nagging you about something so personal is annoying to say the least. Because a lot of times, it’s quite easy to tell that all they want is just idle gossip, or to brag about how blessed they were etc. Good for you, but please don’t make others feel miserable.
That’s another pet peeve of mine, when people knows that someone is already stressed about something and you have to act smug…oh I am so blessed blah blah. Allah ka shukar karna chahiye, lakin kisi ke dil mein hasrat tou nahin paida karni chahiye na. Aur Allah ka shukar dil mein bhi kiya ja sakta hai, kisi dukhi shakhs ke samne yeh elaan karna zaroori hai ke mein bahut khush hoon. Waise that was totally off topic.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
After being married for just a few weeks, ALL Pakistanis we knew, inlcuding the ones we're not, and especially I'm not particularly close with even, kept asking me when I would be pregnant. I had been promised prior to marriage that I would be allowed to finish my education. So I was in Holland after marriage, trying to finish school, husband was in France where he lived with his parents and worked, we saw each other in weekends and holidays, so of course in that situation you don't become pregnant that quickly and of course it's not even the best thing to do while you're still trying to finish school. Yet, everyone kept asking and bothering me about it.
Even Pakistanis I had just met on the wedding, they were friends of people we knew well, when I ran into them in town, they would immediately ask if I was pregnant and why not pregnant yet. They sounded like my mother in law and my own mother who were angry with me every single month I wasn't pregnant.
I think it's something from our cultural history. In past times, people depended on having children to survive. In those days, only income was if sons worked, daughters were considered a burden because they had to be married off and much money and jewelry had to be given to inlaws. Only thing in life for most people was growing up, getting married, having children. Once people became old, their own children were their only income and the only way to be taken care of. So having sons in those days meant having income and having someone to take are of them in old age. The more children they had, especially sons, the better they felt prepared for life and especially old age.
I notice especially the obsession of having children as soon as possible, even though times have changed and life styles have mostly changed, especially of those living abroad. As soon as anyone gets married from the Pakistani people we know or our family, the first question I hear most females asking is about pregnancy. It's the most asked question by Pakistani females here.
Re: When will people realize that it's rude....
Mirch already answered what to do.
Further inquiry should be answered by simple smile.